While I was a contestant on the Last Gladiator Standing, I met a rather interesting and attractive young lady from a galaxy far, far away. Her name is Erifia Apoc and she is from a race of beings known as Twi'Leks. Actually, I'm just assuming she's young. For all I know her species is long lived and she's really hundreds of years old. She does appear young though. She's also blue and has some rather long tail-like protrusions growing from the back of her head.

I found Erifia to be rather charming, though of course I didn't pursue anything at the time because I was involved in a serious relationship. At least I thought it was serious. Anyway, now that I am no longer involved, I decided to give her a call and see if she might be free for dinner. To my delight, she was.

We decided to meet half way across the vast distance of space that separated us. It turns out there is a lovely resort planet on the outer rim of the Milky Way called Poconos. I dressed in my sharpest dark Armani suit and selected a new silk Burgundy tie. Borrowing Blink, I teleported to Erifia's ship in the main spaceport on Poconos.

"Why Erifia, my dear, you look simply stunning!" I told her with sincere enthusiasm. She wore a lovely full length deep red dress that looked like velvet, only more luxurious. The tails on her head were wrapped up in coils and her smooth light blue skin was simply perfect. Her cheeks turned rosy as she blushed.



"Why thank you, Professor."

"Please, you must call me Charles."

"Alright."

We hadn't really talked since Last Gladiator ended so our chat was a bit awkward as we made our way to the restaurant. Fortunately the maitre de had our reservation and we were quickly seated. After our orders had been placed, Erifia asked me a question.

"Tell me Charles, have you ever been on a date with an alien before?"

Taking a sip of a rather interesting and powerful drink called a Pan Galactic Garble Blaster, I answered, "Actually, I was engaged once to an alien. Her name was Lilandra."

"Oh." Erifia looked a bit downcast. "What happened? Problems with the long distant relationship?"

"No, that wasn't it. It got a bit complicated because she had obligations to her people as I had to mine. Unfortunately there came a point when those obligations were in conflict. She was forced to chose between her people and me, and she chose her people. A decision I almost completely supported." After pausing for another sip of the powerful potion, I continiued. "Now I feel like I've been doing all the talking. Please tell me what's been going on in your life since the show."

Erifia's face lit up. "Actually, the Council made me a Jedi Master. Yoda was very supportive."

"That is wonderful! A Jedi Master. Congratulations! That is quite the honor. I am very impressed. I wonder if they have champaign on this planet so we can celebrate properly."

Even without telepathy, it was clear how proud she was. "Let me ask you something about Yoda," I continued, "if you don't mind. I believe I've heard him say he's around 600 years old. Is that really true?"

"I think so. At least that's what he's always telling everyone."

"So then if he's so old and wise, why does he talk like that? I mean to be honest he sounds slightly brain damaged."

Erifia erupted in the most pleasant, warm laughter. "I'm not really sure, Professor. Maybe it's just an affectation."

"My dear, I must insist you call me Charles. After all, we have-"

Before I could finish my sentence, a booming explosion tore through the restaurant. The force of the blast almost knocked us out of our seats. Everyone was screaming in panic. All eyes turned to the lone figure standing in the smoking ruins of the entrance.

Erifia jumped up in surprise. "Jango Fett!" she shouted.

As I sat at my desk, sipping my cup of hot Earl Gray tea - now where did I pick up that affectation? - I couldn't help but feel a sense of peace. The late summer afternoon was warm and bright. The school was in one piece and all my students were safe. Then my door banged open.

"What's up, Chuck?"

Groan. At least he wasn't snickering this time. "Hello, Logan. What can I do for you?"

"Just makin' a pit stop. This super-powers registration thing is startin' to come to a head."

"Well maybe it's just as well they know how we felt during the mutant registration crisis. Pastor Martin Niemoller and all that."

"Uh, yeah. Anyway, I stopped by just to see how you were doin'. You know, after that Onslaught thing."

"Oh. Well, I'm feeling quite good actually."

"Really? What about Maggie and that AIM guy?"

"Funnily enough it really doesn't bother me. Because Onslaught was the sum of my repressed anger, frustrations and pain, when he left he took those things with him."

"So, were you aware of what was goin' on while you were him?" Wolverine asked.

"Not at first. Then I heard a voice that somehow woke me up. It turned out to be Fred the fox. Once I had consciousness, I was able to influence Onslaught. Prevent him from doing anything too terrible. I do feel bad about that poor dog I . . I mean he, kicked. Do you know if it's alright?"

"Oh yeah. The dog is fine. In fact Iceman brought it back to the school."

"Ha! Really?"

"Yep. He's callin' it Ace the Ice Hound."

"Is it a husky or something?" I asked.

"Nope. Just a mutt."

"Then you must get along famously."

I can't tell you how wonderful it was to wake up in my own soft and comfy bed this morning. True, I did have a ringing headache, but some aspirin soon took care of that. I dressed in my own suit, had breakfast in the teacher's dining area with some of my X-Men and then taught a mutant ethics class to the incoming freshman. On the whole, it was fantastic.

As I sat in my study, thinking over all the chaos of the last couple of months, I couldn't help but think wistfully about Magdalena. Was she right? Was our relationship only built on lust?

And so what if it was? Have you seen those outfits she wears? She has an incredible body. I wish she was here right now. I'd like to celebrate with her. A couple of times.

Oh well, perhaps it's for the best. My first duties are to my students, the X-Men and the cause of peace between mutants and humans. Anything else must come second. That was something that really bugged my first wife. In fact, she wouldn't shut up about it.

Just as well then that I'm back on the market.

"Hey, Onslaught!"

"WHAT IS IT, FRED?"

"I just picked up a police transmission on this CB you stole out of that truck. Two people matching Henchman and Magdalena's description have just been seen at Yankee Stadium, apparently fighting a vampire or something."

"THEN NOW IS THE MOMENT OF MY VENGENCE!! BBWAAHAHAAHAHAA - urrrk - hacckkkkurrrpp - EXCUSE ME. A DORITO WENT DOWN THE WRONG WAY. NOW - ON TO EVIL!"

I CREATED A WORMHOLE OPENING RIGHT ON THE SECOND BASE MOUND. HENCHMAN AND MAGG- I MEAN, 'THE WHORE' - WERE STANDING NEAR THE HOME PLATE OVER A PILE OF ASHES.

"NOW, YOU PATHETIC WORMS, YOU WILL PAY FOR ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING YOU CAUSE ME. YOU WILL PAY WITH YOU LIVES!"

"This is insanity!"

"Don't waste your breath, Maggie. This jerkwad can't hear you. Now we finish it."

"OH YEAH, HENCHMAN? WELL . . DOUBLE JERKWAD ON YOU!"

I SAW FRED CIRCLE AROUND BEHIND THEM, OBVIOUSLY GETTING IN POSITION FOR A REAR ATTACK. SUDDENLY A LITTLE TAN MUTT CAME YAPPING FROM THE DUG OUT AT ME. I KICKED IT. BWWAHAHAAAHHAHAAA!!

"YOUR NEXT!" I THUNDERED, POINTING AT HENCHMAN. I FIRED OFF A HUGE VOLLEY OF PSYCHO-KINETIC ENERGY. IT BLASTED INTO HIM HARD, SENDING HIS BODY FLYING OFF IN ONE DIRECTION, AND HIS RIGHT ARM IN ANTOHER. THEN I TURNED ON THE WHORE.

MY FISTS POWERED UP WITH ANOTHER TREMENDOUS SURGE OF POWER. THIS WOULD DISINTIGRATE HER. THE BOLT LEAPT FROM MY FINGER TIPS SHOOTING STRAIGHT FOR HER HEAD.

JUST BEFORE IMPACT THOUGH, A PORTAL OPENED AND MY BLAST WENT THROUGH. KOMA!

I HEARD A TREMENDOUS RUSHING SOUND FROM BEHIND ME JUST SECONDS BEFORE THE BLAST SLAMMED INTO MY BACK. THAT FIND HAD OPENED THE OTHER END OF THE PORTAL BEHIND ME!

I WENT CRASHING INTO THE STANDS BEHIND HOMEPLATE. AS I LOOKED UP, A SAW AN ORANGE FORM HOVERING BEFORE ME. HIS HANDS GLOWED. VEGETA!

HE SLAMMED HIS FISTS INTO ME AND SENT ME SOARING FAR INTO THE OUTFIELD. AS I FLEW THROUGH THE AIR, ONE QUESTION RANG IN MY MIND. HOW DID THEY KNOW TO BE HERE? IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THIS WAS A TRAP.

UNDERNEATH THE BUZZING MY HEAD, I COULD HEAR ANOTHER VOICE. IT WAS CALLING TO XAVIER. I KNEW THAT VOICE. FRED! I REALIZED THEN THAT VOICE HAD BEEN WITH ME ALL ALONG.

"JUDAS!!" I SHOUTED. I UNLEASHED A HUGE TIDAL WAVE OF MAGENTIC FORCE THAT SHOOK THE VERY GROUND AND BLASTED THROUGH THE FAR BLEACHERS.

I STARTED TO CHARGE UP THE FIELD BUT SUDDENLY MY FEET FLEW OUT FROM UNDER ME. I CRASHED ONTO A SHEET OF ICE. I STARTED TO STAND BUT A RUBY RAY ZAPPED ME IN THE SHOULDER AND SENT ME SPRAWLING FACE FIRST ON THE ICE.

AND THEN THE UBIQUITOUS WOLVERINE MADE HIS APPEARANCE. HE JUMPED ON MY BACK AND STARTED CLAWING AT MY HELMET. I COULD HEAR THE METAL TEARING.

WITH A QUICK SHRUG, I SENT HIM HURTLING INTO THE STANDS. THEN I FELT TELEKENETIC FINGERS PRYING OFF MY LOOSE HELMET. GAIA!

I GRABBED AT MY HELMET AND HELD IT DOWN. I SENT A STRONG PSIONIC FEEDBACK AT HER, JARRING HER GRIP FREE.

A HIGH-PITCHED SOUND MADE ME WHIRL - JUST IN TIME TO SEE MAGDALENA'S BLADE SLICE THROUGH MY DAMAGED HELMET. I LUNGED FORWARD, GRABBING HER SQUIRMING BODY IN MY RED RIGHT HAND. I EASILY KNOCKED HER SWORD LOOSE.

"ALL THIS WAS FOR NAUGHT, WHORE! NOW YOU DIE!!"

I CLOSED MY FIST TIGHTLY, SQUEEZING THE VERY LIFE FROM HER.

SUDDENLY ALL MY SENSES WERE ASSAULTED AT ONCE. THE ROAR IN MY EARS OVERWHELMED ME. LOOKING AROUND THROUGH A FOG, I COULD JUST MAKE OUT JON THE INTERGALACTIC INTERLOPER STANDING A FEW YARDS AWAY, FIRING A HAND GUN AT ME.

I DROPPED MAGDALENA AND TRIED TO LUMBER TOWARDS HIM. EVERY STEP WAS PAIN BUT I MADE IT. THOUGH I LOOMED OVER HIM, HE CONTINUED FIRING THAT INFERNAL WEAPON AT MY UNPROTECTED HEAD.

PULLING BACK MY FIST, I SWATTED AT HIM. AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND, KOMA TELEPORTED HIM OUT OF HARM'S WAY.

BUT NOW I WAS FREE OF HIS GUN. MY HEAD STARTED TO CLEAR. I COULD JUST MAKE OUT THE SPIKEY HAIRED ORANGE BLUR ZOOMING TOWARDS ME.

VEGETA SLAMMED HARD INTO MY CHEST. MY WHOLE BODY BEGAN TO VIBRATE WITH CHAOS. AGAIN I HEARD FRED'S VOICE IN MY HEAD, CALLING OUT TO XAVIER. THIS TIME, HE WAS ANSWERED.

"This nightmare is over," I HEARD XAVIER WHISPER. "I demand you release me."

"YOU WEAK FOOL! I AM DOING ALL THIS FOR YOU! IT IS THE VENGENCE THAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS! THAT YOU ARE TOO SPINELESS TO TAKE FOR YOURSELF!"

"You're done hear!" I HEARD GAIA SHOUT FROM INSIDE MY HEAD.

"Game over!" FRED JOINED IN.

I COULD FEEL THEM ATTACKING PSIONICALLY MY VERY CONSCIOUSNESS. MY GRIP ON XAVIER'S FORM WAS WEAKENING. AFTER MY BATTLES, I DID NOT HAVE MUCH LEFT WITH WHICH TO FIGHT.

THEY STRUGGLED HARD, COMBINING THEIR ENERGIES TO DISCONNECT ME. THEIR ALLIES STOOD ARRAYED BEFORE ME IN A LINE, AWAITING THE OUTCOME. I COULD SEE WHICH WAY THIS FIGHT WAS GOING.

"FINE. IF YOU CANNOT ACCEPT THE GIFTS I GIVE YOU, THEN SO BE IT."

AND WITH THAT I DETACHED MY PSYCHE FROM XAVIER AND SLIPPED INTO THE ASTRAL PLANE.

"TELL ME WHERE THAT TROUBLE MAKER GAIA IS!"

"Er . . well, I'm not really sure about that. I mean I know she was at the school, but, um . . "

"YOU ARE STALLING! WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, FOX?!"

"Nothing! Oh, I know where she went. Koma hid her and some of the students in nearby pocket dimension. It's vibrational frequency is .069 off the median. It's actually the conduit through which all his teleportations go."

" . . YOU ARE RATHER CLEVER FOR A SMALL FURRY WOODLAND CREATURE."

"Well I do live at a school."

"VERY WELL. I SHALL OPEN A WORMHOLE TO THIS DIMENSION - THERE!"

"And there's Gaia!"

"Gosh, Dan, your hands are so strong."

"And your shoulders are so tense. I think I'm going to have to rub them at least once a day until we get you - what the hell is that?!"

"NOW GAIA, YOU SHALL DIE FOR CAUSING ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN XAVIER'S LIFE!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Onslaught!? You're the crazy psycho ruining him!"

"IF IT WAS NOT FOR YOUR ATTEMPTED CONQUEST OF THE PLANET, THE HARLET WOULD NOT HAVE BETRAYED HIM WITH THAT SECOND-STRINGER!"

"You're nuts! I never tried to take over the planet!"

"HA! YOUR PATHETIC LIES WILL NOT SAVE YOU FROM MY WRATH!"

KNOWING THE VAST POWER GAIA WEILDS, I ATTACKED QUCIKLY, FIRING A DEADLY ENERGY BLAST AT HER. THAT FOOL JOCK OF HERS DOVE AND KNOCKED HER TO SAFETY.

"BAH! YOUR PATHETIC ATTEMPTS TO RESIST MY POWER WILL AVAIL YOU NOT! I AM ONSLAUGHT!"

WITH A WAVE OF HER HAND, THE FLOOR BENEATH ME DISAPPEARED AND I FELL DOWN INTO A GIANT HAMPER FULL OF DIRTY LAUNDRY. TEEN-AGER'S DIRTY LAUNDRY. MY SKIN STARTED TO CRAWL JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT WAS IN THERE.

I LEAPT BACK UP TO GAIA'S LEVEL. FRED WAS CONFRONTING HER. SHE SAW ME AND RAN OUT OF THE ROOM WITH HER BOYFRIEND. AS IF THEY COULD POSSIBLY ESCAPE ME. ME!

AFTER A BRIEF CHASE THROUGH THE HALLS, I CORNERED THE TWO OF THEM IN A WORKSHOP. I LOOMED FORWARD, TOWERING OVER THE SMALL FRIGHTENED BEINGS.

"TIME TO DIE, GAIA!"

I JUMPED FORWARD TO SMASH THEM INTO OBLIVION WITH MY BARE HANDS. ACTUALLY MY HANDS ARE ARMORED. EITHER WAY, ONE OF KOMA'S PORTALS OPENED UP BEFORE ME IN MID-JUMP AND I SAILED THROUGH IT, SUDDENLY FINDING MYSELF BACK ON EARTH, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GOBI DESERT.

BLAST THOSE MEDDLING KIDS.

FRED AND I APPEARED IN JON'S SECRET LAYER. IT WAS DISQUISED TO LOOK LIKE AN ORDINARY CHICAGO APARTMENT. HIS DECEPTION WAS CLEVER.



I COULD SEE BY THE STARTLED LOOK ON HIS FACE THAT PANIC WAS QUICKLY OVERWHELMING HIM. IT WAS AMUSING TO WATCH THE COLOR DRAIN FROM HIS FACE.

"YOU," I SAID TO HIM. "I WILL DESTROY YOU."

THE FOOL ACTUALLY TRIED TO THROW A PUNCH AT ME. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FAR SIMPLER FOR HIM TO JUST FALL ON HIS SWORD BEFORE ME. AH WELL. THE GLADIATOR WOULD RATHER DO THIS THE HARD WAY. I PUNCHED HIM THROUGH THE WALL AND SEVERAL BLOCKS AWAY.

THE RAW POWER OF MY BLOW WOULD HAVE DISINTEGRATED HIS BONES, BUT I DECIDED IT WOULD BE MORE FUN TO TOY WITH HIM A BIT. HE DESERVED TO BE MADE TO BEG FOR DEATH AFTER THE TROUBLE HE HAD MADE FOR XAVIER. I ENVELOPED HIM IN AN ENERGY SHIELD TO PROTECT HIS BODY FROM THE IMPACT.

JON CRASHED INTO A JUNKYARD NEARBY AND I LEAPT DOWN TO HIM. LOYAL FRED ROAD ON MY SHOULDER. HE TRIED A PITIFUL ATTACK, BUT OF COURSE IT HAD NO EFFECT. I WAS ABOUT TO BLAST HIM INTO ATOMS WHEN I DECIDED IT WOULD BE MORE FUN TO LET HIM TRY AGAIN.

I MOVED HIM BACK THROUGH TIME A FEW MINUTES AND LET JON START AGAIN. I COULD FEEL THE DESPAIR OF HOPELESSNESS GROWING WITHIN HIM.

AFTER PLAYING THIS GAME A FEW TIMES, I GREW TIRED. IT WAS TIME TO DESTROY HIM. JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO LAUNCH A FATAL BLAST OF BIO-ENERGY AT HIM THOUGH, HUDSON AND CYCLOPS APPEARED TO DEFEND HIM. PATHETIC. INSTEAD OF KILLING ONE, I WOULD SIMPLY KILL THREE.

UNFORTUNATELY THEY ALL DISAPPEARED JUST AS I UNLEASHED MY FINAL ATACK. HOW DARE THEY FRUSTRATE MY RIGHTFUL WRAITH!?

"That was Gaia!" BLURTED FRED SUDDENLY.

"GAIA?"

"Oh . . uh . . yeah. I, uh, recognized her scent."

"SHE IS THE ONE WHO LAUNCHED THE ATTACK ON THE EARTH THAT LEAD MY PRECIOUS . . I MEAN THE 'WHORE' . . INTO BETRAYING XAVIER. AND NOW SHE HAS PREVENTED ME FROM OBTAINING JUSTICE AGAINST JON! THIS IS ALL HER FAULT! TAKE ME TO HER, FRED.

"Well . . okay."

"NOW THEN, FRED, THE EVIL VEGETA WILL SOFTEN UP HENCHMAN AND . . AND . . HER . . FOR ME. THEN I WILL ENTER AND DESTROY THEM ALL! BWWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!!"

"Actually, Onslaught, I think there's a much smarter move."

"AND WHAT IS THAT?"

"There is another ally of theirs who has caused Xavier pain."

"WHO?"










"Jon, the Intergalactic Gladiator. He's the one who took the Professor off planet during that crisis with evil-Gaia. If it wasn't for him, and that mission of Queen Galacta's, Maggie would never have been lead to seek comfort in the arms of another."

"YES . . YOU ARE A CLEVER FOX, FRED. IT IS ALL THE GLADIATOR'S FAULT. I SHALL OPEN A WORMHOLE TO HIS LAYER AND DESTROY HIM!"

THE WORMY SUPER-VILLAINS OF HENCHMAN'S GUILD STOOD ARRAYED BEFORE ME. THE WRECKING CREW WAS THERE, ALONG WITH VARIOUS CHARACTERS FROM SPIDER-MAN'S ROGUE GALLERY AND ASSUNDRY OTHERS. THEY ALL SNARLED MENACING TAUNTS AT ME. DEFEATING THEM WOULD BE EASY.

XAVIER HAD LEARNED AN EVIL LITTLE TRICK FROM A SHORT, OLD GREEN MAN IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY. I FOCUSED MY CONCENTRATION AND GAVE THEM EACH A PSIONIC WEDGIE. THE VILLAINS ALL FELL TO THE FLOOR, CURLED UP IN BALLS AND STARTED WHIMPERING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS.

ALL EXCEPT ONE. HE JUST STOOD THERE, LOOKING DEFIANT, A GIANT BALL HANGING FROM A CHAIN IN HIS HAND.



"YOU ARE CRUSHER CREEL. THE SO-CALLED ABSORBING MAN. WHY DID YOU NOT FALL?"

"Dat's 'cause today I decided to go commando. Lucky me."

"YOUR POWER IS TO ABSORB THE PROPERTIES OF WHATEVER YOU TOUCH."

WITH A SMILE I TOOK CONTROL OF HIS POWERS AND FORCED CREEL TO CHANGE INTO TOILET PAPER. THERE WAS A BIT STICKING OUT OF THE BACK OF HIS PANTS. THEN I BLASTED HIM WITH A BIO-ENERGY BOLT. HE DISSOLVED LIKE . . WELL LIKE TISSUE PAPER.

"BWWAHAHAHAAHAHAA!"

LOOKING AROUND I SAW FRED THE FOX TALKING WITH HENCHMAN AND MAGDALENA. THEY SAW ME AND THE HUMANS DISAPPEARED THROUGH ONE OF KOMA'S PORTALS. I HURRIED OVER TO FRED.

"BLAST! THEY ESCAPED!"

"Yeah. Those two are tricky."

"I SAW YOU TALKING TO THEM."

"Er, right. I was telling them about how awesome your power is and how they'd be better off just surrendering to you."

"WISE COUNSEL. WHAT DID THEY SAY?"

"Well . . Henchman just made some disparaging comment about your mother and then they disappeared."

"OOH . . I AM SO GOING TO KILL HIM!"

"That's what I told him. Oh, and he also said that Prince Vegeta was back from his trip to Sky City."

WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD I OPENED ANOTHER WORMHOLE BACK TO THE SAYIAN'S. HE STOOD IN TERROR BEFORE ME.

"Onslaught!" HE CRIED IN NAKED FEAR.

"YOU KNOW WHO I AM, VEGETA. GOOD. YOU KNOW WHO WILL SLAY YOU!"

I IMMEDIATELY REACH INTO HIS MIND AND DEACTIVATE HIS ANNOYING SAYIAN POWERS. THEN I SAW SOMETHING THERE I WAS NOT EXPECTING.

"I SENSE A GREAT EVIL INSIDE YOU AND A HATRED OF THE HENCHMAN! ALSO YOU HAVE DISDAIN FOR THE WHORE! YES, I CAN USE THAT!"

JUST AS I HAD WITH THE HULK, I SPLIT VEGETA'S BODY AND PSYCHE INTO PIECES. I SENT THE EVIL PART, THE ONE FULL OF LOATHING FOR MY ENEMIES, AFTER HENCHMAN AND THE WHORE.

BWWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

"WHERE ARE THEY, FRED?"

"Hmm, Vegeta's compund is deserted. I don't sense any residual mental energies around."

'WHAT? YOU HAVE POWERS?"

"Oh, um, no. Of course not. Just my hightened animal senses."

"PERHAPS I SHALL DESTROY HIS HOME THEN. OR MAYBE I HAVE AN EVEN MORE EVIL IDEA. YES. HEH, HEH HEH. THE SAYIAN HAS A WOMAN, YES?"

"Er, yes. Why do you ask?"

"HA! WATCH AS I MOVE FROM BATHROOM TO BATHROOM, PUTTING THE TOILET SEATS UP. WHEN HIS WOMAN SEES THIS, SHE WILL KILL HIM! HA! HA! HA!"

"Yep, that was pretty evil, alright Onslaught."

"YES, THAT WAS PERFECT. NOW THEN, ANY SUGGESTIONS ON WHO TO DESTROY NEXT?"

"Well, Henchman's local badguy union hall is near here. We could go and see if they know where he and the Magdalena are."

"EXCELLENT. I SHALL OPEN A WORMHOLE AND . . THERE . . NOW WE STEP THROUGH AND . . THEY ARE FIGHTING A WAR."

"The supervillians are all attacking each other! Wait . . they stopped. Now they're coming for us!"

'KOMA, YOU WORM! NOW YOU DIE!!"

"Aagghhhh!"

KOMA'S PATHETIC SCREAM PROVED HE WAS THE WEAK-KNEED INSTECT I KNEW HE WAS. HE TWISTED AROUND IN WILD PANIC IN HIS HAMMOCK UNTIL HE WAS LEFT SO ENTWINED IN THE MESH THAT HE COULD NOT MOVE A PINKY. KILLING HIM WILL BE TOO EASY.

"Stop right there!"

THE SHRILL VOICE OF HIS ARTIFICIAL FEMALE GRATED ON MY NERVES. I LOOKED DOWN AT FRED THE FOX AND WE SHARED AN EVIL LAUGH.

"YOU ARE NO THREAT TO ME, ANDROID!"

"Uggh! For the last time, I am not an android! I am a synthoid. They are totally different!"

"IT WILL MAKE NO DIFFERENCE IN A MOMENT. SOON YOU WILL BE NOTHING!"

THE LIN-BOT POINTED A TOY GUN AT ME.

"BBWAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!" WAS MY RESPONSE. THEN THE ROOM STARTED SPINNING. EVERYTHING LOST IT'S FORM. THE LAST THING I COULD MAKE OUT WAS FRED, TAUNTING KOMA.

WHEN I REGAINED MY AWARENESS, KOMA AND LIN WERE GONE.

"They hit me with that same neural ray and then they escaped. I'm afraid I don't know where they went, Onslaught."

"YOU HAVE DONE WELL, FRED. ANY GUESSES TO THEIR DESTINATION?"

"Well actually, yes. They do have one powerful ally they might seek help from. Prince Vegeta."

"Henchman and the Magdalena are in Paris. I saw the coordinates Captian Koma sent them to."

"KOMA! BAH!! HE SHALL PAY NEXT FOR DARING TO INTERFER WITH MY PLANS. YOU HAVE DONE WELL, FRED."

I CREATED A LOCALIZED WORMHOLE THAT SENT US TO THE COORDINATES THE FOX HAD GIVEN ME. WITHIN MOMENTS WE WERE IN A SEEDY HOTEL ROOM.

"THEIR STINK IS ALL OVER THIS ROOM. BUT THEY ARE GONE! BAH!!"

"Damn! I can sense them too. Uh, it smells like they were, uh, having a good time, if you know what I mean."

"BAH!!"

THE FRUSTRATION I FELT AT MISSING MY PREY ANNOYED ME TO NO END! CLEARLY I COULD NOT LEAVE THIS PLACE WITHOUT RELEASING MY ANGER.

I WENT OVER TO THE MINIBAR IN THE ROOM AND TOOK OUT THE VODKA BOTTLE. UNSCREWING THE CAP, I POURED ALL THE LIQUID DOWN THE DRAIN. THEN I REFILLED IT WITH WATER AND REPLACED IT.

HA! THAT WILL SHOW THOSE FRENCHIE!

"NOW THEN, FRED - TELL ME WHERE KOMA IS. HE WILL LEAD ME TO MY PREY OR DIE! AND DIE, I MEAN. YES, HE WILL LEAD ME TO MY PREY AND THEN I WILL KILL HIM! BWWAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!"

JUST AS THE HULKS WOULD START TO MAKE PEACE, I WOULD PULL OUT YET ANOTHER VERSION OF HIM. MY SUPPLY WAS VIRTUALLY LIMITLESS. THE GREEN 'GIANT' HAS A LOT OF ISSUES.

I LEFT THEM TO THEIR OVERT INNER STRUGGLE AND HEADED FOR MY IMMEDIATE GOAL - CEREBRO. SEVERAL X-MEN, HAVING BEEN SUMMONED BY XAVIER, RUSHED TOWARDS ME. THEY ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY COULD STOP ME. ME! CAN YOU IMAGINE?

EASILY REACHING INTO THEIR MINDS, I MADE THEM ALL THINK THEY WERE ENGAGED IN A DANGER ROOM SCENARIO AND THAT COLOSSUS WAS ACTUALLY ME. THEY EACH USED THEIR SIGNATURE MOVES TRYING TO BEAT HIM. FOOLS.

I WAS JUST OUTSIDE THE DOOR TO CEREBRO WHEN A SMALL BLACK FOX TROTTED UP TO ME.

"FRED?"

"Oh, hi Onslaught," HE ANSWERED. HIS HEAD SWEPT BACK AND FORTH. "Can I tell you a secret?"

ODD. I TRIED TO READ HIS THOUGHTS BUT COULD DETECT NOTHING. I COULD FEEL HIS PHYSICAL PRESENCE THOUGH SO I KNEW HE WAS NOT AN ILLUSION. I LEANED DOWN TO HIM.

"WHAT IS IT?"

"I know where Captain Koma teleported Henchman and the Magdalena."

"AND WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THIS?"

"Can't you tell by my fur? I've turned evil. Heh, heh, heh."

THAT SOFT WORM, HENCHMAN RAN LIKE THE COWARD HE IS WITH MY PRIZE, THE MAGDALENA. HE TRIED TO RESIST ME BUT HE FAILED.

KOMA WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOWED ANY BRAINS. HE TELEPORTED IN THE HULK. NOW HE IS A BEING WITH POWER. I HAVE HAD MUCH TIME TO PLAN HIS DEFEART, SHOULD WE MEET AGAIN.

REACHING INTO THE RECESSES OF HIS PSYCHE, I PULLED OUT HIS DIVERGENT PERSONAS AND GAVE THEM FORM AND SUBSTANCE.

THE HULKS SHALL DESTROY EACH OTHER!

THEN THERE SHALL BE NONE WHO CAN OPPOSE ME.

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

FINALLY I AM REBORN.

ALL THE SUFFERING AND PAIN THOSE WORMS HAVE CAUSED ME SHALL BE PAID BACK IN FULL - IN BLOOD!!

THE FIRST TO DIE SHALL BE HENCHMAN!

THEN THAT WHORE MAGDALENA!

AND THEN ALL WHO HAVE OPPOSED MY VISION!

THERE SHALL BE NO PEACE BETWEEN HUMANS AND MUTANTS!

THEY DO NOT DESERVE IT!

THE HUMANS SHALL ALL DIE!!

AND THEN SO SHALL THOSE MUTANTS WHO HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME!!

I reached out with my mind and found Wolverine.

"I want you to kill Henchman," I told him telepathically.

"What?"

"You heard me! You kill people all the time! I order you to kill Henchman!"

I could feel his hesitation. "Yeah, look Chuck. I know you're smartin' from Maggie's affair with Henchman, but you don't want to do somethin' you'll regret.

"Logan! Don't give me any -"

The sudden materialization of Captain Koma and his female robot caused me to break off contact with Wolverine. The robot was the one Beast had original built as a trojan horse gift.

"Koma, I am not interested in participating in your stupid machinations. Whatever you're thinking, stop. Go play with the Martian."

He bristled in anger. "You wiped my mind," he accused. "I'm sure you wiped others too! Probably the whole world!"

Obviously he was irrational so there was no point in trying to reason with him. I couldn't believe all these people were standing against me. Couldn't they see I just wanted to make things right? Their short-sighted stupidity and insolence were intolerable! I felt blind rage consuming me. Never have I been griped by such an uncontrollable fury.

Without another word I fired a devastating psionic blast at Koma. My intent was to destroy his mind completely. Unfortunately he had some sort of dampening field in place. Fine. I have other resources.

As I summoned my X-Men telepathically, I flipped open the forward energy guns built into my special chair and fired at him. Koma was able to throw up a shield that deflected the bursts. Not a problem. The guns were merely a distraction.

Beast was the first to arrive and he snatched away the synthoid's neural disrupter weapon. "Lin," Beast said to the synthoid, "activate procedure Omega 5."

In response, the robot walked over to Hank and took the disrupter from him. To our mutual surprise, she disobeyed Beast's order and fired the weapon at us. I collapsed on the floor as Koma and Lin ran off.

I could feel my conscious mind slipping but the anger burning in the darkest recesses of my psyche was growing, spreading throughout my entire body, transforming me. I saw no reason to resist it anymore, if I even could after being hit by Koma's disrupter. All my pent up outrage and humiliation unleashed the monster within me.



My consciousness receeded.



Within minutes Xavier was no more.



All that was left was Onslaught.

"Professor?"

"Not now, Scott. I'm busy!"

"Uh sorry. Just thought you should know, there's some guy in a white bunny suit polishing the heat seeking Stinger missiles on your hover chair."

My hover chair. Yes. That might be a good way to deal with Henchman. Or perhaps I could just take control of his mind and have him stop his own heart. Or maybe beat himself to death. Yes, that might be fun.

Wait, what on Earth am I thinking? I don't want to kill Henchman. But he did force himself . . no . . Maggie went to him willingly. She initiated their affair. Or so it would seem.

Maybe Henchman did corrupt her somehow. Perhaps he found some kind of mind control device and subsumed her will. He's in league with all those super-villains like Captain Koma and Dr. Doom. Yes. He some how . .

But no, there was no memory in his mind of any of that. I searched him thoroughly. All the way back to his earliest childhood. I know everything about him. He had a chiuawa named Teacup when he was five that he loved with the innocence of a child. Perhaps it was seeing that dog killed that sent him on his path of evil. I can't really blame him for what happened.

Why the hell not? He is a super-villain. Or at least a wannabe. He knew Maggie was involved in a serious relationship. He made comments about it enough on Last Gladiator. That bastard! He was probably planning the whole thing then! I'll melt his brain!! I'll . . I'll . .

Get hold of yourself Xavier. I'm not killing anyone. That would be Wolverine's reaction. I have to be logical. Dispassionate.

Wolverine. Yes, he's a killer. And he's loyal. He's fought Henchman. It wouldn't take much for me to have him kill that bastard. Yes. That's what I'll . .

"Uh, Professor? What about Bunnyman?"

"Scott, his name is Arthur. Go make nice. I have things to do."

I sat in my study, staring at the ring I had gotten from Queen Galacta to give to Maggie. After hours of reasoning, I had determined that the only possible explanation for her betrayal was that Henchman had drugged her. The only question then is what to do with the villain?

A thick puff of putrid smoke suddenly filled my office.

"Professor!" shouted Nightcrawler. "Henchman's van izt pulling up zee driveway!"

Apparently the whole damn school knows about my business.

I rolled out into the hall and saw Henchman in civilian clothes walking through the doors pushing Maggie, who was also in a wheelchair. Her body was motionless. Panic surged through my heart. I quickly scanned her thoughts and found very little activity. The tension radiating from Henchman's mind was deafening.

Without looking at him, I said, "Bring her down to the med lab." As we descended to the lower level, I tried to probe Maggie's mind. She seemed totally shut down except for some focused activity in the deepest recesses of her subconscious. I could only pick up flashes of strange images about a woman and child. There was someone named Kyle.

The intense anger I felt radiating from Henchman pulled me back. It took me a moment to realize her was staring at Gaia's comatose body. His thoughts were of blind rage. He was fantasizing about bludgening her.

"She's no danger to you," I told him calmly. The tall man turned to look at me.

"She did this to Maggie!" he shouted. "She has to die!"

"You will not touch a hair on her head," I informed him. "Gaia has been cleansed of the evil that tainted her."

"So what?! She get's a free pass just like that? Maggie was right, you don't really give a crap about her do you?"

The devastating psionic blast that I hit Henchman with sent him flying across the lab. He crashed hard into the wall, smashing various beakers and equipment.

"How dare you?!" I bellowed. "You have no right you foul . . you drugged her didn't you?!"

"W-what the hell are you-," he started to say. I brutally ripped past the layers of his mind, searching his memories telepathically.

Maggie came to him.

He truly cares about her.

How can this be?

. .

"Stay here and watch them," I told him as I left the lab. "If you touch Gaia, I will kill you very, very slowly."

How can this be?

I sat in my study trying to track down what had happened to Maggie after the final battle. Gaia was up and about now, seemingly perfectly healthy except for the fact that she remembered none of the events of the last couple of weeks. Her powers also seemed to return to their pre-crisis level. I suspect that she was sub-consciously dampening her powers as she had locked away her memories of the recent events. A knock disturbed my thoughts.

"What's up, Chuck?" Wolverine asked with that annoying chuckle he always does when he says that lame joke.

"What is it, Logan? I'm a little busy."

"Look, I don't usually get involved in this stuff, but I figure there's somethin' I got to tell ya."

"Oh, what's that?"

"It's about Maggie. You better sit down."

"Ha, ha. Please get to the point, Logan."

"While you were off planet Maggie slept with Henchman."

" . . . "

"I said while-"

"LIAR!!" Before I could stop myself I let loose with a tremendous psionic blast that sent Wolverine flying across the room. He was on his knees tying to shake off the pain. A trickle of blood dripped from his left nostril.

He staggered to his feet, wincing with the effort. Through clenched teeth he said, "I'll let you have that one, Chuck. One. Henchman has her now. She's been in some kind of coma since the battle. They're in the city."

I could barely hear what Logan was saying. This couldn't possibly be true! My Maggie . . the woman who I love . . she would never do that to me! But, for all his other faults, Logan is not a liar. And the things I saw in Gaia's subconscious vault . . it does make sense. But . .

There must be some explanation. She must have been possessed. Perhaps Henchman used some kind of drugs on her. Yes, that's it. Henchman is just a foul, evil wanna-be super-villain. He used Maggie somehow. My solution is obvious.

I reached out with my mind, covering New York City until I found Henchman. I instructed him to bring Maggie's comatose body here to the school where we could care for her.

Perfect.

"Scott, would you please get ahold of yourself. I haven't been gone that long."

The poor boy was blubbering like a baby. He had lost the capacity to speak. I thought about probing his mind but I just wasn't ready for the experience. I waved Wolverine over.

"Any idea what that was about?" I asked pointing to Scott who was being lead away by Colossus and Warbird.

"I guess death can do that to ya," he answered.

"Who died?"

" . . far too many to count." Logan looked at me for a long moment, like he was trying to size me up. "You really don't know?" he finally asked.

"No, I've been off planet, as you know."

"Gaia went crazy an' sent out an army of her alien buddies to take over the Earth."

"Well yes, I know that. Gaia's powers are impressive but nothing the X-Men can't handle."

"Oh yeah?" he said with a half-smile. "Well her powers got amped up quite a bit when she went evil. It was really touch an' go there, Chuck."

"I see. Well everything seems to be okay now. In fact today is just perfect."

"Yeah, I think that was the angel's doing."

"Really? Warren's powers have grown then."

"No, no. I mean a real angel. He was fighting along side Maggie."

"Oh. Um, where is Maggie now? Have you seen her?"

"No. She flew up with that angel. She had wings an' golden armor."

"Up? I've been scanning for her and can't find a trace. Perhaps I'll talk to her church superiors and see if they've heard anything. I see Hank has taken Gaia to the infirmary. I'm going to go check on her."

When I arrived in the med lab, I saw Gaia lying out on a table. Hank was standing over her.

"Her vital signs are healthy, Professor," Hank told me as I rolled up. "But her neural activity is minimal."

"A sleep state?" I asked.

"No. She's non-responsive to external stimuli."

I rolled up next to her and reached out with mind, entering Gaia's subconscious. She was totally calm and at peace. I could sense no darkness, no anger. I also couldn't find any memories of the past few weeks. It was like whatever she had experienced had been wiped clean.

Probing deeper, I found a closed off portion of her psyche. A sealed vault, locking out part of her persona. Carefully, gently, I pried into it, not wanting to do any damage to her mind. Once I had penetrated the sealed off area, I saw all that was missing from the last few weeks.

Gaia had somehow, probably subconsciously as a defense mechanism, segregated those painful, traumatic experiences that she could not acknowledge. I saw it all - her meeting with Gaea, the Earth Mother, the contact with evil that corrupted her, her taking command of her alien race and assembling them into an invasion force - and her battles with Maggie.

Maggie! Gaia had killed her!

But somehow she had come back, resurrected perhaps by that angel.

I re-sealed the mental vault Gaia had created, strengthening in so that those memories could never be accessed. Leaving Gaia in Hank's capable hands, I hurried to my study. I have to find Maggie.