Thursday, September 28, 2006

While I was a contestant on the Last Gladiator Standing, I met a rather interesting and attractive young lady from a galaxy far, far away. Her name is Erifia Apoc and she is from a race of beings known as Twi'Leks. Actually, I'm just assuming she's young. For all I know her species is long lived and she's really hundreds of years old. She does appear young though. She's also blue and has some rather long tail-like protrusions growing from the back of her head.

I found Erifia to be rather charming, though of course I didn't pursue anything at the time because I was involved in a serious relationship. At least I thought it was serious. Anyway, now that I am no longer involved, I decided to give her a call and see if she might be free for dinner. To my delight, she was.

We decided to meet half way across the vast distance of space that separated us. It turns out there is a lovely resort planet on the outer rim of the Milky Way called Poconos. I dressed in my sharpest dark Armani suit and selected a new silk Burgundy tie. Borrowing Blink, I teleported to Erifia's ship in the main spaceport on Poconos.

"Why Erifia, my dear, you look simply stunning!" I told her with sincere enthusiasm. She wore a lovely full length deep red dress that looked like velvet, only more luxurious. The tails on her head were wrapped up in coils and her smooth light blue skin was simply perfect. Her cheeks turned rosy as she blushed.


"Why thank you, Professor."

"Please, you must call me Charles."


We hadn't really talked since Last Gladiator ended so our chat was a bit awkward as we made our way to the restaurant. Fortunately the maitre de had our reservation and we were quickly seated. After our orders had been placed, Erifia asked me a question.

"Tell me Charles, have you ever been on a date with an alien before?"

Taking a sip of a rather interesting and powerful drink called a Pan Galactic Garble Blaster, I answered, "Actually, I was engaged once to an alien. Her name was Lilandra."

"Oh." Erifia looked a bit downcast. "What happened? Problems with the long distant relationship?"

"No, that wasn't it. It got a bit complicated because she had obligations to her people as I had to mine. Unfortunately there came a point when those obligations were in conflict. She was forced to chose between her people and me, and she chose her people. A decision I almost completely supported." After pausing for another sip of the powerful potion, I continiued. "Now I feel like I've been doing all the talking. Please tell me what's been going on in your life since the show."

Erifia's face lit up. "Actually, the Council made me a Jedi Master. Yoda was very supportive."

"That is wonderful! A Jedi Master. Congratulations! That is quite the honor. I am very impressed. I wonder if they have champaign on this planet so we can celebrate properly."

Even without telepathy, it was clear how proud she was. "Let me ask you something about Yoda," I continued, "if you don't mind. I believe I've heard him say he's around 600 years old. Is that really true?"

"I think so. At least that's what he's always telling everyone."

"So then if he's so old and wise, why does he talk like that? I mean to be honest he sounds slightly brain damaged."

Erifia erupted in the most pleasant, warm laughter. "I'm not really sure, Professor. Maybe it's just an affectation."

"My dear, I must insist you call me Charles. After all, we have-"

Before I could finish my sentence, a booming explosion tore through the restaurant. The force of the blast almost knocked us out of our seats. Everyone was screaming in panic. All eyes turned to the lone figure standing in the smoking ruins of the entrance.

Erifia jumped up in surprise. "Jango Fett!" she shouted.


Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

You thought wrong. Sucka. Oh hey Jango, poker next week?

10:44 PM  
Blogger Bulma said...

welcome to the dating aliens clubnsnb

10:45 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Poconos? ROFL. Sorry, sorry, I'm sure it's lovely, my intern has just been to a place called that and well, umm, never mind. I hope the date at least ends well, even if the middle is a bit chaotic.

You should ask her to show you some of her dance moves, Professor ;)

1:22 AM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...


..... How could you?

I thought we made a connection.

6:29 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Yeah, there was a connection alright -- your crotch and her knee.

6:30 AM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Hudson. Maybe want to go bowling sometime? Just not as a date-date? I do care about you, but I don't LOVE you, okay?

You did look good in the suit, Prof.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Black Widow said...


Of course someone always had to interrupt with an explosion

10:02 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

It sounds like your date with Erifia has been spoilt.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Right back at you, Erifia.

4:35 PM  
Blogger L>T said...

oh for christ's sake! Professor, get a grip. Don't do the love on the rebound thing! You will be sorry!

10:50 PM  
Blogger Darth Nepharia said...

"Don't do the love on the rebound thing! You will be sorry!"

I think keeping busy and his mind off of whatshername is good for him.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

I agree with Nephria

5:20 PM  
Blogger L>T said...

Yes, but what does Nephria have in store for him? He's fragile right now & his ego can be bruised easily, poor baby.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Kon-El said...

Oh c'mon now the prof's doin' the right thing and movin' on . I personally think Maggie,s trouble any way.

7:27 AM  
Blogger Florence said...

There was a great connection between the two of you, I say Go for it :D

10:52 AM  

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