Monday, September 18, 2006

THE WORMY SUPER-VILLAINS OF HENCHMAN'S GUILD STOOD ARRAYED BEFORE ME. THE WRECKING CREW WAS THERE, ALONG WITH VARIOUS CHARACTERS FROM SPIDER-MAN'S ROGUE GALLERY AND ASSUNDRY OTHERS. THEY ALL SNARLED MENACING TAUNTS AT ME. DEFEATING THEM WOULD BE EASY.

XAVIER HAD LEARNED AN EVIL LITTLE TRICK FROM A SHORT, OLD GREEN MAN IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY. I FOCUSED MY CONCENTRATION AND GAVE THEM EACH A PSIONIC WEDGIE. THE VILLAINS ALL FELL TO THE FLOOR, CURLED UP IN BALLS AND STARTED WHIMPERING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS.

ALL EXCEPT ONE. HE JUST STOOD THERE, LOOKING DEFIANT, A GIANT BALL HANGING FROM A CHAIN IN HIS HAND.

absorbingman

"YOU ARE CRUSHER CREEL. THE SO-CALLED ABSORBING MAN. WHY DID YOU NOT FALL?"

"Dat's 'cause today I decided to go commando. Lucky me."

"YOUR POWER IS TO ABSORB THE PROPERTIES OF WHATEVER YOU TOUCH."

WITH A SMILE I TOOK CONTROL OF HIS POWERS AND FORCED CREEL TO CHANGE INTO TOILET PAPER. THERE WAS A BIT STICKING OUT OF THE BACK OF HIS PANTS. THEN I BLASTED HIM WITH A BIO-ENERGY BOLT. HE DISSOLVED LIKE . . WELL LIKE TISSUE PAPER.

"BWWAHAHAHAAHAHAA!"

LOOKING AROUND I SAW FRED THE FOX TALKING WITH HENCHMAN AND MAGDALENA. THEY SAW ME AND THE HUMANS DISAPPEARED THROUGH ONE OF KOMA'S PORTALS. I HURRIED OVER TO FRED.

"BLAST! THEY ESCAPED!"

"Yeah. Those two are tricky."

"I SAW YOU TALKING TO THEM."

"Er, right. I was telling them about how awesome your power is and how they'd be better off just surrendering to you."

"WISE COUNSEL. WHAT DID THEY SAY?"

"Well . . Henchman just made some disparaging comment about your mother and then they disappeared."

"OOH . . I AM SO GOING TO KILL HIM!"

"That's what I told him. Oh, and he also said that Prince Vegeta was back from his trip to Sky City."

WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD I OPENED ANOTHER WORMHOLE BACK TO THE SAYIAN'S. HE STOOD IN TERROR BEFORE ME.

"Onslaught!" HE CRIED IN NAKED FEAR.

"YOU KNOW WHO I AM, VEGETA. GOOD. YOU KNOW WHO WILL SLAY YOU!"

I IMMEDIATELY REACH INTO HIS MIND AND DEACTIVATE HIS ANNOYING SAYIAN POWERS. THEN I SAW SOMETHING THERE I WAS NOT EXPECTING.

"I SENSE A GREAT EVIL INSIDE YOU AND A HATRED OF THE HENCHMAN! ALSO YOU HAVE DISDAIN FOR THE WHORE! YES, I CAN USE THAT!"

JUST AS I HAD WITH THE HULK, I SPLIT VEGETA'S BODY AND PSYCHE INTO PIECES. I SENT THE EVIL PART, THE ONE FULL OF LOATHING FOR MY ENEMIES, AFTER HENCHMAN AND THE WHORE.

BWWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

majin_vegeta17

5 Comments:

Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Wow, it's interesting what you do for shits and giggles.

Funny how Maggie and Henchy always seem to be a few steps ahead of you. You'd almost think they were getting help :)

9:57 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Majin Vegeta : i stood in fear of you? Bah! idiot !


Good vegeta: your Creepy Hold me!

Majin Vegeta; Get away from me odd ball !

Good Vegeta : Your a meanie! fine I'll go hide with my blankie.

Majin Vegeta........

2:50 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Temple veins! Eww.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Lolth said...

The itsy bitsy spiders crawl all over the house
Black went the Sun and the vampires all came out
night replaced the sun with screams of much pain
and the itsy bitsy spiders feed on the remains

12:45 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Do you think you might have an inferiority complex, Onslaught?

2:46 PM  

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