Thursday, August 31, 2006

"What's wrong, Chuck?" Jon asked as he piloted the Danger Sled back to Earth, our first contact mission with the leviathan accomplished.

"I am not able to make a telepathic connection with anyone back home."

"Could it be a side-effect of Sargon's warp hole?"

"No, those types of physical distortions usually don't effect my psionic abilites."

"That thing with Gaia?"

"I doubt it. I'm sure the X-Men have taken care of it by now. But do hurry though. Just in case."

"You worried about Maggie, huh?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"You really care for her?"

"I do. In fact I'm planning to take a very large step when I see her. Queen Galacta had asked what boon I would like as a reward for my services. Normally, being a hero, I refuse any offered reward, of course. But this time I didn't. I asked for a precious jeweled ring. She gave me this."

"Wow. So that means . . "

I couldn't help the smile from dancing across my lips. "Yes, I'm planning to ask her to marry me."

"You old dog," Jon laughed. "But what about her bosses. I thought they looked down on marriage."

"She's not a priest."

"Yeah, but she's like their designated ass-kicker. They probably don't want her loyalties divided."

"The Church may not like it, but I don't see how they could stop us."

The ship hurried through space at unimaginable speeds. Soon we were approaching Earth. I still couldn't make telepathic contact with anyone.

"That's strange," Jon said. "There's some kind of weird distortion around the whole planet. I can't get any readings."

"Take us down at my school please, in Westchester."

As the ship descended through the strange dark clouds, a wave of warm luminescent energy rippled through us. A sense of peaceful calm filled the whole ship. Suddenly I could hear thousands of minds around me. Each and everyone of them seemed happy and cheerful. The dark clouds quickly disappaited.

The ship landed and we exited. I looked out over the school grounds and everything was exactly as I remembered it. Cyclops came running up to me and gave me a big hug. He was weeping with joy.

"Now now, Scott," I said to him. "I haven't been gone that long."

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

We had no trouble finding Gaia. The She-Witch and her army of alien demons were massed along the broad double street of Park Avenue in mid-town Manhattan. As we descended into the unusally cold dark air, her soldiers moved as one to stand between us and the power mad Gaia. But they did not attack. They merely formed an inpeneterable wall that we could not pass. She seemed to be waiting for something.

The X-Men's eyes turned to Cyclops but clearly he was paralyzed by indecision. Pathetic. Before the rest of us could move to attack though, Magdalena and Henchman appeared seemingly out of nowhere, right next to Gaia. The lunged at her.

Not much could be made out thought the mist, but before we knew it, Magdalena was flung lifeless from the center of the demons and landed atop a large cross on the Saint Patrick's Cathedral grounds. Then Henchman went sailing high into the air, quickly disappearing over the skyscrapers.

As one we surged against the demons, the strength of their numbers held all of us at bay though. All of us except for Vegeta, the Prince of the Sayians. Their battle was as ferocious as it was brief. Within moments, with a blinding burst of tremendous energy, Gaia threw Vegeta into a nearby building and it collapsed down upon him.

Iceman managed to get around the demons with his ice bridge but right before our very eyes, Gaia somehow changed the molecular make-up of his body and he shattered into a thousand pieces. We were stunned, unable to believe what we had just witnessed.

Cyclops was the first to react, much to my amazement. With a tortured howl he unleashed a massive optic blast, carving a passage through the aliens. He charged forward, running straight at Gaia. With a twisted laugh and a wave of her hand, her fiery gaze dissolved his body into a pile of ashes.

After all our years together and our long rivalry, Scott was dead. Several X-Men tried to charge through the gap he had made. "STOP!" I yelled. "No one cross the line!"

I will not see any more of our team die needlessly. Clearly Gaia must die. We need a plan.

Monday, August 28, 2006

"Blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah! Blah!"

That was Cyclops talking. He drones on like a blithering idiot. Why on Earth Xavier ever chose him as the leader of the X-Men I will never figure out. Under his watch the school was completely destroyed. The grounds are in ruin. Cities all over the planet are burning in destruction. The forces of Gaia have leveled unspeakable damage and all Cyclops can do is babble on like the incompetent he is.

The biggest disgrace is that the X-Men are having their big battle plan meeting in the conference room at the Motel 6. I should go back to Cairo.

"Hey everybody!" Elixir shouted with far too much enthusiasm as he burst into the room. "They just interrupted Jane and the Dragon to announce that Gaia is in Washington! She's like totally destroying the place. "

All eyes turned to Cyclops. He was frozen in panic.

"Well let's go get her!" Iceman shouted. "We can either talk her down or take her out!"

Cyclops looked around nervously. "Has anybody seen Magdalena? I mean she's kind of in charge."

"Yeah, I think she's with Henchman," Wolverine chuckled. Nightcrawler and Colossus started snickering. Simpletons.

"Oh great," Cyclops cried in despair. "What are we suppose to do now?"

Then he turned towards me and fell to his knees. He raised his arms high in the air in praise. "Oh mighty goddess Storm, please give me guidance!"

At least that's what he should have said. Worm.

I turned to Elixir. "Who interrupted the show?"

"SHIELD! They're sending a heli-carrier to pick us up!"

"Good. Then we go to confront her," I said.

Within moments we were on board the carrier headed for Washington. The ship was tracing Gaia's unique energy signal. Fred the Fox, Gaia's annoying pet rat was bouncing around as if he had eaten too much sugar.

"Damn," said Warbird. "The signal has changed. She's in Manhattan!"

The carrier turned us around and soon we were flying through the darkened skies of Manhattan. There before us was Gaia and a large contingent of her forces.

"Alright people, stay together!" that buffoon Cyclops called out. "If we do this by the book, we should all come out of it ok!"

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Jon steered the Danger Sled towards a recess near the dorsal fin of the giant space beast. As we approached the vast fleshy bluish gray wall, I could feel Jon's apprehension rising.


"Are you sure this is the right trajactory, Professor? I mean I'm not seeing a door or anything."

I smiled warmly at him. Some have taken my warm smile as condescension, but that's certainly not how I mean it. At least not in this case. "You're doing fine," I told him. "Maintain your course."

The prow of the ship nudged closer and closer to the recess in the wall. Still nothing opened. Jon had cut his speed to not more than a few kilometers an hour.

"Professor!" he shouted as the nose of his ship bumped into the hide of the leviathan. The skin in the recess gave way, allowing the Sled to push through it. The pore maintained an air tight seal around our ship as we flew inside the huge beast. Once we were in, it sealed itself behind us.

Jon turned on the floodlights and we saw the vast interior cavity of the leviathian. There seemed to be ledges and paths and walkways, as well as a clear spot for the Sled to come to rest. For all intents and purposes, we appeared to be in an organic landing bay.

Turning to me, Jon asked, "Did you know she was going to open up like that?"

I smiled again. "I was pretty sure."

"Pretty sure?"

"Well, to be honest, I was having a hard time understanding the leviathan's communications. Her brain is incredibly complex."

Jon shook his head, half in exasperation at the risk I took and half in relief. "At least we're here in one piece. Now let's see if there's any atmosphere."

I smiled again. Jon looked dubiously at me. "Is the leviathian telling you something about that?"

Nodding, I replied, "She says that her senses have given her a complete picture of our biological needs and she has altered her internal environs to meet them."

"Yeah, well if you don't mind I'm still going to check my sensors."

After a moments, he looked up. "Well what do you know? Earth normal. Let's go take a walk shall we. Er, no offense."

"None taken," I assured him as we exited the Sled and entered the belly of the leviathan.

Friday, August 25, 2006

As I gazed out the viewport at the vast empty space streching endlessly before us, I couldn't help but reflect on how truly annoying Monkeyboys are.

Mojo (the Monkeyboy, not the giant yellow alternate universe psycho with a butt for a stomach) had been smearing some kind of foul smelling brown gunk on the walls of the Danger Sled. I really didn't want to know what it was. I tried to tune him out and make telepathic contact with X-Men back on Earth. I wanted an update on how the battle against Gaia's army was going. Mojo's inane shrieking would not allow it.

Sitting in his control seat, Jon turned to me. "Can't you do something about that? You've got that putting people to sleep thing you do, right?"

I shook my head. "My mental powers only work on minds. These Monkeyboys appear to be mindless."

"Yeah, but they speak. They must have some kind of brains."

"In order for me to take command of another's brain, there must be some kind of logical cohesiveness to their thought pattern. His mind is like fusion jazz. It just makes no sense whatsoever."

"Well, at least we're almost at the coordintes the Queen gave us," Jon said. "We should be seeing the Leviathan in a couple of hours."

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Oh man, this is just great. Here we are staying in the crappiest, most rundown flea bag of a Motel 6 in the entire country. We've got 30 people cramped into 10 rooms. I'm sharing with Beast and Nightcrawler. You know what I've realized? They both shed!


All the dormitories in the mansion were destroyed along with the upper floors. All we have left are the below ground levels, but that's the war room, the danger room, Cerebro, the labs, the X-Jet hanger and some of our more hightech vehicles. Classes are about to start in a couple of weeks and all of the students will be coming back. We have no place to put them!

As it is, we still have a few students still here. The ones with no place to go. So we've been running a summer school for them. Storm took the 7 of them to the war room to conduct a class while the rest of us met in the main bio lab to talk about what we were going to do next.

The should we or should we not kill Gaia debate was getting a little stale, not to mention moot since we had no idea where she was, so I decided to talk a walk. I passed by Storm's class and peaked in. She was lecturing on the significance of internet memes.

"You all studied the social contract theories put forward by Hobbes, Locke and Rousseau last semester," she said to the students. "There is therefore no need for me to go into detail about the moral obligations we assume to each other when we chose to join a society. By receiving the benefits of being part of a group, we must a binding contractual sense, provide services in exchange. For those who belong to the vast Internet community, this means, in part, promptly responding to memes. Though some view memes as nuisances, the fact is that if we ignore our obligations, we will be breaking our contract. Without that, the entire basis for a social union collapses. In this case, the very Internet would cease to be. It is therefore vital to immediately respond to any and all memes that - oh damn! I just got a meme from Pantha." A sly smile crossed Storm's face. "And I see she sent it to you too, Elixir."

"Oh boy! My second meme!" Elixir jumped to his feet and ran up to Storm side.

Storm read outloud. "1. Grab the nearest book. 2. Open the book to page 123. 3. Find the fifth sentence. 4. Post the text of it and the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions. 5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest. 6. Tag three people."

Reaching for the book on top of the stack on the table, Storm flipped through the pages. "The Constitutional Rights of Students," she announced. "Page 123, fifth sentence. 'Sex seems even closer to achieving the status of a suspect classification than does wealth. Four Supreme Court Justices have already shown a willingness to so classify it. 'Sex, like race and national origin, is an immutable characteristic determined solely by the action of birth. The imposition of special disabilities upon the members of a paticular sex because of their sex would seem to violate' the nastic concept of our system that legal burdens should bear some relationship to individual responsibility . . . . ''"

Storm then handed the book to Elixir. "Your turn."

The poor boy looked rather confused. "But it's the same book," he said.


"So the passage will be the same."

"That doesn't matter. The rules are quite clear. Pick whichever book is closest to you. That's this book."

"Okay," he replied with a shrug. He then read out the same passage. "'Sex seems even closer to achieving the status of a suspect classification than does wealth. Four Supreme Court Justices have already shown a willingness to so classify it. 'Sex, like race and national origin, is an immutable characteristic determined solely by the action of birth. The imposition of special disabilities upon the members of a paticular sex because of their sex would seem to violate' the nastic concept of our system that legal burdens should bear some relationship to individual responsibility . . . . ''"

'Now what about picking three other people?" he asked Storm.

An evil glint filled Storm's eye. "First I will choose -"


A huge crashing sound rang throughout the underground complex. The sound of rending metal from above left no doubt that someone or something was breaking in. I rushed towards the sounds and saw - the Hulk!!


Monday, August 21, 2006

I was glad to see that Jon's Danger Sled was in compliance with the access rules of the Americans With Disabilities Act. The eminently annoying Professor S'Magmier had succeeded in getting on my nerves and I wanted to put as much distance between him and myself as possible. Unfortunately on a personal cruiser like the Sled, that wasn't going to be much. This was going to be a long trip.

You would think that after dealing with as much prejudice against mutants as I have over the years, I would be more inured to the kind of blatant speciesism that S'Magmier displayed, but of course I'm not. This condescending jackass was almost as irritating as Jon's would be sidekick, Mojo the Monkeyboy.

Jon slid into the pilot's seat next to me in the cockpit. "I must say," I started to say, "when I first heard you mention that Mojo was here I felt a bit of panic."

"Oh he's harmless, Professor. He may seem psycho but he's relatively harmless."


"It's not that. The X-Men have fought a deranged lunatic from an alternate dimension who is also named Mojo. In fact, his whole plane of existence is known as the Mojoverse. Very creepy guy."

"Hmm, speaking of creeps, looks like Smeggy is almost done packing."

Jon had just finished going through his pre-flight checklist when S'Magmier joined us in the cockpit. "Now if you two are finished picking mites out of each other's body hair, I am ready to go," he announced.

Jon and I looked at each other for a moment and then Jon showed him the door. Or the exit hatch or whatever it's called. I was largely in agreement with Jon's decision to give Smeggy the boot, but I was a bit concerned as Queen Galacta had thought he would necessary for this mission. He was so obnoxious though that I was really glad to see him go.

We could hear Smeggy outside banging on the hull. Though we couldn't hear his words, I could hear his thoughts. Unfortunately. His tirade against backwater uncivilized human scum was laced with unprintabexpletivesves. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.

Turning to Jon with a rather evil smile on my face, I said, "There is something I've always wanted to try."

"Oh, what's that?"

"A little trick Master Yoda taught me."

I reached out with my mind towards Smeggy. Though my psionic mutant powers are predominantly telepathic, I can exert some limited telekenetic effect when I really concentrate. Grabbing onto the back of his underwear, I yanked upwards with all of my mental might. Smeggy's blood curdling scream we could both hear through the hull.

"A psionic wedgie," I said with a wink.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Queen Galacta's attendant showed me to a waiting chamber just off the throne room. I used the opportunity to check with Magdalena. Stretching my consciousness across the vast distances of space, I touched her mind.

"How is the war going against Gaia's alien army?"

"We've managed to destroy most of the armored monsters attacking Washington, but the city took a lot of damage. I really don't think you should have left."

"When one is summoned by the Queen of the galaxy for an important mission, it is hard to refuse."

"I didn't even know we had a Queen of the galaxy."

"Oh yes. Her name is Galacta. She doesn't get to Earth much but we are still within her domain."

"And how does her empire relate to the Shi'Ar, Kree and Skrull empires?"

"That is an excellent question and I'm glad you asked it. Now then, how much of Gaia's army is left?"

"Wolverine, Vegeta and Alpha Flight defeated the forces in Canada. Spider-Man and the Avengers cleaned out what was left in New York. Our X-Men plus group rendezvoused in Washington with the others when they were done and we managed to overcome the aliens there too. The enemy did a lot of damage to London. Half their forces moved on to Germany where they were defeated by Magneto's group. Son Goku and Bra traveled to London and helped the local heroes finish off the enemy that had remained. There are still pockets of alien monsters here and there but I sense something much bigger on the horizon."

"Magneto, eh? If he didn't always have that damn helmet on, I would thank him. What are you going to do now?"

"I have been summoned back to the church. I am leaving Goku to coordinate our people to regroup back in Westchester at the Motel 6."

"You have done an excellent job, Maggie. I am really quite proud of you. I think that when I get back we should think about - whoops, I'm being summoned back to the Throne Room. We'll talk soon."

As I entered the chamber, I saw that Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator was already before the Queen being informed of the strange living leviathan. She addressed us both.

"This ship, if it is truly alive, is the most unusual and foreign entity we have encountered. Making contact with it may be a most difficult task, but we must do so before My evil brother does."

"It would be an honor to serve you this way," I answered diplomatically.

"Yeah, it will be mine also," Jon said.

"Professor S'Magmier will accompany you," the Queen continued. "He is our best scientist in the matter of Xenoforms."

The weasley little man stepping forward had a rather dour look on his face. I quickly scanned his mind and saw how little he thought of both this assignment and Jon and myself. Obviously he wasn't going to be much fun.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Once I was onboard the small starship, it quickly rose to orbit and headed for the throne world. Before we jumped into hyperspace though, I contacted Magdalena telepathically. She was engaged in a heated battle in Washington DC against Gaia's alien demon invaders.

"Charles? I'm -unnggh- a little busy here!"


I could see through her eyes that she had just decapitated an armored warrior.

"I'll be brief then," I said. "I have been called away on a special mission by the Queen of the Galaxy and I expect to be off planet for a few days. You are in charge."

"You're leaving me?! Now!?"

"I know that you can handle these things, Maggie. I have met Galacta once before. She wouldn't have called if it wasn't a very serious matter."

"Well . . I guess you - haaugghh! - know what you're doing. Hurry back!"

I realize this call by the Queen didn't come at the best of times but looking back, I couldn't really think of a peaceful moment in the last few months that would have been convenient. I'm sure Maggie, the X-Men and our allies can handle this crisis.

In almost no time at all the ship was leaving hyperspace. As soon as we landed, I was escorted straight to the Queen's audience chamber.

Galacta sat in her throne, the very essence of regal refinement. At her sides were two stiff officers. As I approached, she looked towards me and nodded.


"We bid you welcome, Charles Xavier," she said, her voice confident and commanding. "Well do we remember the service you did the galaxy in helping to remove the usurper Deathbird from the throne of the Shi'ar Empire. Proud we were to award you with the Oakdat Star Cluster."

I bowed as low as I could in my chair. "Your words fill my heart with pride, your majesty. 'Thank you' is insufficient a phrase but it is all I have to offer."

"Your gratitude is accepted but there is more that you can do. The reason that you have been summoned is that your unique gifts can be of great value to the galaxy."

"Any way that I can serve, your majesty, I shall."

"Our scientists have encountered a new lifeform. A being of unprecedented size, a space leviathan, whose intentions remain unknown at this time. Our technicians have attempted to communicate without success. Our telepaths have also valued. It is known that you are the most powerful telepath in the galaxy. It is our hope that you will be able to make first contact with this entity, convey our good wishes and determine its intentions."

I hesitated for only the briefest moment. "Of course, your majesty. It will be my pleasure to serve."

"We have also summoned another of your species to travel with you on your journey. He is a hero well known to us and we are confident he can meet any challenge that should arise on this vitally important mission. Perhaps you know him - Jon, the Intergalactic Gladiator."

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Two humanoid men dressed in sharp military uniforms marched down the landing ramp of the large silvery spaceship. They both had some sort of fire-arms on their hips. I thought it best to not probe their minds at the moment, in case they could detect psionic activities and would take a telepathic scan as a hostile activity.

"Greetings, Professor Charles Francis Xavier. My name is Colonel Mensch and I bring you the warm salutations of Galacta, Queen of the Galaxy."

"I am most honored to be recognized by our galactic liege," I answered. "And to what, may I ask, do I owe this tremendous honor?"

"The Queen commands your presence at a Royal Audience."

I thought for a moment about my options. The Earth is under seige by an alien army lead by perhaps the most powerful being I have ever encountered. My people are scattered across the planet fighting for their very lives. My girlfriend is leading a large team into battle to defend the capital of the country. My school is in ruins and classes are scheduled to start in a couple of weeks.

But she is the Queen of the Galaxy. How can I refuse?

"Of course I will join you. How long do I have to prepare?"

"We leave immediately. You may pack what you need."

"Actually, all my things were destroyed a few days ago. What few things are left are still packed in those bags there. I never had a chance to unpack."

The Colonel snapped his fingers and a robot came skittering out of the ship and lifted up both of my large travel bags. I reached out telepathically to Cyclops.

"Scott, I am going to have to go off planet again for a few days and I want you to-"

"What!?" he screamed. "You can't! We're in the middle of a war! This crazy chick Magdalena doesn't know what she's doing and-"

"Scott! Get ahold of yourself. Magdalena is an excellent leader and she knows better than anyone the enemy you are facing. She will also better be able to lead the diverse team we have. The X-Men are trained to fight together but there are a lot of outsiders helping on this. Most people don't trust mutants. Even other heroes. They will accept Maggie and I want you to also."

"Well, okay, I guess."

"Good. Now then, I want you to-"

"But you can't leave! The aliens!"

"You can handle them. Our forces won in New York and you will win everywhere else, too."

"B-but . . but the school! We have to rebuld it. You have to do that!"

"Fat chance. You broke it, you fix it."

"What?! But . . but where will we stay? All the dorms were destroyed!"

"I have already booked rooms for you at the Motel 6 in town. You can stay there during construction."

"A Motel 6?"

"Suck it up, Scott. I have to go. Now listen carefully. What I want you to do is to protect Maggie and follow her lead. I'm counting on you. I also want you to take care of Arthur."

"Arthur? You mean that sidekick you picked up on that game show? You didn't give him back?"

"Sidekicks don't work like that. At least as far as I know. I've never had a sidekick before. Either way, take care of him. Make sure he gets enough food and exercise."

"Well, okay."

Whew. That took a lot longer than I thought it would. That Scott needs work.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


"Yes, Trunks?"

"I have triangulated the manifestation points of the alien armies and pinpointed the wave variance of their residual energies."

"Oh really? I'll have to take your word for it."

"I mean I've calculated their origin point."

"Gaia's home planet?"

"No. They started from here in our solar system. Just beyond Mars orbital trajectory."

"That's odd. Is there a ship there?"

"I'm hacking into the Hubble Space Telescope right now to do a scan of that region of space. It might take awhile."

"Good work, Trunks. That was worthy of Hank McCoy. Now if we . . say, is your name really Trunks? It seems a little . . unusual."

"Uh, yeah. It's short for Trunks Brief."

I stifiled a laugh. "Really?" Vegeta's boy looked rather uncomfortable.

"Yes. It's kind of a family tradition. I, uh, don't really want to talk about it."

"Fair enough. I better check in with our teams."

Vegeta, Wolverine and Cyclops had meet up with Alpha Flight and were engaging the aliens in Toronto. Maggie and her team had already started battling their army in DC. She had most of the X-Men with her, as well as Gohan and Henchman.

Unfortunately I had not realized that Henchman had been part of Magneto's team assaulting the White House just a few weeks ago. Now he was defending it. Oh well, hopefully no one will notice.

I tried to reach Emma Frost telepathically in London but was unable to find her. The aliens had already struck there and done a lot of damage. Captain Britain and Union Jack fought hard with the regular army but they were over-whelmed. Bra and Goten were on their way to lend assistance.

Part of the invading forces had moved on to Munich, Germany. Apparently Magneto and his Brotherhood were engaging them there. He also seemed to have a female android warrior with him. The Brotherhood seem to think he's dating the robot. Oh well, like daughter like father, I suppose.

I was about to contact them to coordinate our defenses when I heard a loud rumbling noise above the ceiling of the command center. Could it be more alien warriors? I quickly scanned the area above my ruined school and saw it wasn't.

"Trunks, you are in charge," I said as I left the room and entered the elevator. Soon I was above ground.

There in front of me was a sleek silvery space ship. A hatch slid smoothly open and a ramp slowly extended out to the ground.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I had the shuttle craft pilot halt his descent. Reaching out with my mind I could feel the thousands of battle armored warriors surrounding me. Their minds were strange, slightly different from ours and yet still within my ability to control. They were also fairly simplistic. I reached into them and put them to sleep, dozens at a time. It took a bit but soon they were all still.

The craft landed and Arthur and I exited. Everyone who was able gathered around the ship and welcomed me back from Last Gladiator Standing. Maggie wrapped her arms around me and give me a large, very welcome kiss. Scott interrupted with an awkward cough.

"I'm, uh, sorry you lost Professor but I'm really glad you're back."

I looked around at the smoldering ruins of my school. Nothing of the above ground levels was standing. Hank bounced over.

"Well, the good news is that the sub-structure is intact. The Danger Room, the X-Jet and hanger, the labs, the War Room . ."

"Fine," I interrupted, slightly annoyed that my plan to spend a long peaceful night in my own soft bed had been confounded. "Have everyone who is able meet me in the War Room in 15 minutes. I learned something making contact with the invaders and I need to check Cerebro."

Once I had finished, I headed for the War Room. Fortunately it was still intact. When I arrived, Vegeta and Henchman were in the middle of a pissing contest. It looked like they were about to come to blows.

"It's Gaia!" Vegeta yelled. "She's behind this!"

Storm threw a lightening bolt at him. That caused quite a commotion amoung the assembled heroes. Magdalena quickly brought the tumult to a halt.

"He's right," she said. "Gaia has been corrupted. I tried to stop it but I couldn't." I put my arm around her shoulders.

"I found out some very important things when I had mental contact with the invaders," I told everyone. "First and most important-"

Suddenly the theme song from Sex in the City filled the room. I quickly realized it was my cel phone which was working again now that I was back in satellite range.

Damn, it was a meme. From Lusty Tart. What horrible timing.

"Excuse me for just a moment," I told the crowd, awaiting my revelation. I scrolled down the text.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of it and the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag three people

Well, all my books were destroyed in the battle. I saw a copy of Star Magazine lying on the command console. Picking it up and was frustrated to find that it only went to page 94. Damn. I guess I'll just have to use page 12 instead. It's about Jim Carry's impending marriage to Jenny McCarthy. Ok, 5th sentence.

"'Jim wants their relationship to be as private as possible, so it won't blow up in their faces. - that's why it took months for them to emerge in public,' says McCarthy's friend. That's also why, sources say, their wedding will be small and intimate. 'Jim insists they do it lowkey,' says the source. 'Jenny is a social butterfly, and her instincts is to celebrate with the world. But since her other relationships haven't worked out, she's willing to follow Jim's lead.'"

Three other people? Henchman, Vegeta and Warbird. That should keep them out of trouble.

The assembled heroes looked around at each other in apparent confusion.

"Now then," I resumed in my best addressing a crowd voice, "Maggie and Vegeta are correct. When I telepathically touched the minds of the invaders I found out that they are in fact aliens from Gaia's homeworld. She has ordered them to destroy all sentient life on Earth. Their campaign is to start in four cities - New York, Washington, Ontario and London."

A buzz broke out through the crowd. "We have already defeated the battalion assigned to New York. Our primary goal now is to defend Washington. After Magneto's recent attack on the capital, we have to show them that we care. We have to prevent that city from being destroyed."

"Well there is one way to stop that," Vegeta announced. Everyone turned to look at him. "We cut the beast off at the head."

Cyclops stepped forward. "You're not suggesting-"

"Yes I am," the Sayian continued. "The way to stop this is to kill Gaia."

Pandamonium broke out. Several X-Men started to leap to attack Vegeta.

"Stop it!" I yelled. "No one is killing Gaia. She may well have been possessed by an evil force. Perhaps it's the Shadow King. They battled recently on the Astral Plane. Besides, I scanned for her with Cerebro and I can tell you that she is not on the Earth. We have to fight her alien armies. To do this we will split into two forces. Maggie, you will lead one group with our main group to defend Washington.

Cyclops, I want you to take Vegeta and Wolverine. You will rendezvous with Alpha Flight to defend Ontario. I will coordinate our efforts from here and try to contact Emma Frost. She should be in England with the Cuckoo Sisters. Her psionic powers should be most effective against the aliens. Now go!"

Monday, August 14, 2006

A metal fist smashed hard into the back of my head and sent me sprawling face first into what was left of the lawn. After a few minutes I lifted my head and tried to focus through the haze. The scene around me was one of utter carnage. The school was razed to the ground. One lone beam rose up from the ground where the Professor's office use to be. Man, he's going to be pissed.

Colossus was a few feet away, smashing two of those armored demons together. To his right, Warbird was buried under a pile of the monsters. Wolverine was behind her, a wild uncontrolled look on his face, spittle flying from his mouth with his animal roar. He was in full on beserker mode, doing what he does best.

And there was that bitch Magdalena. She had arrived here with Spider-Man, Vegeta and some others and totally took charge. She started barking out orders to the X-Men. And they had listened to her!

Can you believe that? My team, of which I am the leader, obeyed her commands. She's just a human! So what if she's the Professor's girlfriend? I'm the leader, damn it!

A smoking lifeless metal body fell to the ground next to me, obviously the victim of Storm's lightening. The whole area was littered with the things. But there were still so many of them. Thousands were in the sky. I could already see several X-Men were down. Healing factor or not, we weren't going to last much longer.

Just then a bright light pierced the dark clouds. I could hear the Professor's voice in my head.

"You have done well, Scott," he said. He was back from that game show!

As his shuttle craft slowly descended, the Professor reached out with his mental powers and entered the minds of each of the invaders. They started falling by the dozens. Soon there were none left standing. We won!!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

"Oh no! What are these horrible things, Storm?!"

"Calm yourself Kitty! You are an X-Man. You must-"


A huge explosion ripped through the street next to us, cutting off the valuable instruction that I was giving Kitty. Lessons would have to wait.

"These armored demons mean to destroy the city. We must fight them!"

"But there are so many!" wailed Kitty. "There must be thousands! Maybe millions! We have to get to the school and get some help!"

Looking up the sky black with the sheer volume of our attackers I knew we would never make it back to Westchester. "No. We will head for the Avengers Mansion. There will be allies there."

I took to the skies and called upon my powers to create a powerful wind vortex, forcing the evil army back. Together we raced through the opening towards the Avengers HQ. Over their sprawling complex, I was surprised to see a wild storm raging. I focused my concentration to try and control the storm, but it resisted me, as if the weather had a mind of its own. Scores of armored warriors charged at me. I reached into the swirling storm, trying to use its power for my own but it would not obey. Then I saw why.

Thor, the God of Thunder, was in the center of it. Frenetic bolts of lighting flew from the dark clouds and leapt from warrior to warrior. Their lifeless armor fell smoking to the street below.

Now that I knew it was Thor creating this tempest, I was able to augment it with my own power. I flew next to him and he smiled and nodded at me. Linking our powers together, we caused the storm to spread out over the city and shoot bolts of electricity into any of the metal monsters still in the air.

Once that threat was gone, we let the skies clear. Down below I could see various heroes of the city fighting the remaining invaders on the ground. There were even a few villians such as the Henchman fighting along side the heroes. I saw Vegeta there. I'm still not quite sure whose side he's on. However the Professor's girlfriend, Magdalena was fighting by his side.

There was tremendous damage all around to the city but once the warriors were defeated, we headed along with the others towards the Xavier school in Westchester.

Friday, August 11, 2006

"Wait a minute Storm, we can't just leave Spider-Man!"

At first I thought Kitty's infatuation with Spider-Man was cute but now it just sickens me. "Please Kitty. That fool is not worth any more of our trouble. We took care of his little Nazi/Hydra men for him. Now he can finish fighting his aunt on his own."

"I don't think it's aunt, I think it's his Anti."

"Aunt or auntie makes no difference. This is not our fight and we've wasted enough of our time. That pathetic worm is not worth it. His insipid attempts at humor are just irritating. I honestly don't know what you ever saw in him."

"But . . he's Spider-Man! He's so totally adorable!"

"Whatever. We are leaving. It is time I put that other fool Cyclops in his place. He has grown far too comfortable thinking he has taken control of the X-Men from me. Now he will learn his place."

I grabbed Kitty's arm and dragged her back the way we had come, past all the unconscious Hyrda soldiers. We reached the street, a wild maniac scream pierced the air. I turned and saw a cloud of black demons descending on the city.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

"Warren? You mean the Angel? That's impossible! He was fighting along side of during that battle."

"Oh I know that," Beast said. "Regardless, the mutatgenic bio-signature is identical."

"But how can that be? Was it Mystique?"

"No. A shape-shifter would not emit the same genetic signature. Everyone is unique. It's more reliable than fingerprints or even retnal scans."

"So was it a clone?"

"That is one possibility but I would tend to discount it. If it, or he, was a clone then he would have looked exactly like the Angel, but he didn't."

"So what do you think then?"

Hank gave me a hard scowl. "Our interloper could have been the product of a genetic enginering experiment such as Mr. Sinister or the Dark Beast like to engage in."

"Dark Beast? You mean that freaky guy from that alternate reality?"

"Yes. And I suppose that's another possiblity, too. An Angel from an alternate reality might be similar enough to generate an identical signature."

"Well that sucks. Keep working on trying to find our missing people."

I headed upstairs in a foul mood. That whole thing with Danny just left a bad taste in my mouth. Uh, no. I mean it was all just a pain in my butt. Oh, uh, no. It, um, it just queer. No! Weird! It was weird! Yeah, that's it.

When I got back to the ballroom I was kind of surprised to see the place looking neat and clean. There in the corner I saw a little old silver-haired lady hauling a big bag of trash into the kitchen. It was Spider-Man's Aunt May. I thought about going to help her but decided against it. I'm the leader of the X-Men and I have more important things to do.

I headed up to my room to get a shower when Iceman came bursting through the front door.

"Scott! You've got to come outside and see this!"

"Oh man, game over," came a voice from the bushes.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


"Oh hey, Sco - I mean, Mr. Slumbers. *BBURRRP!*"

I looked at Elixir as he stood there, wobbling slightly, in the open doorway. He was obviously having problems focusing. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Without a word I walked past him.

The grand ballroom looked like a disaster zone. It was hard to believe this place wasn't damaged during the Sentinel attack from all the debris strewn around. It really looked like a war scene. There were even bodies scattered about. Except these were all snoring loudly.

"Yo! Whaaazzzz uppp?!"

It was Private Hudson. He charged at me with his arms spread out like he was going to give me a big hug. He was only wearing a strategically placed party hat. The last thing I wanted was to be embraced by a mostly naked man.

Nocturne jumped down from the ceiling and snapped his bare butt with a dish towel. Hudson yelped and then chased after the laughing mutant. Oviously somebody had a good time last night.

I headed down to Hank's lab. He was leaning over some kind of doo-hickey, grabbing his head an moaning.

"Et tu, Brute?" I asked, without the least amusement in my voice.

"Ooh, not so loud, Scott," he replied.

"I can't believe you let the kids get into the booze. We can go to jail for that, you know."

He gave me a long, dubious look. "Of all the actions that the X-Men could be incarcerated for, I would thinking letting some teenagers imbibe a beer or two would be the least of our worries."

I just shook my head. "Have you finished tracking those Sentinels yet? We've got to get our people back."

His already worn out face fell a few inches lower. "I'm afraid not. Once the Sentinels became airborne some kind of warp portal opened and they disappeared. It was Talcyon energy that generated the portal but by the time I reached it's location, the trace signatures were too faint to calculate any sort of destination."

"Well that sucks."

"The only thing I can tell you is that using the Cerebro matrix I was able to positively identify that sinister character with the large wings that appeared and took everyone away."

"Oh, who was it?"

"Warren Worthington, III."

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Oh man, this is so cool!

Like, part of the school has been trashed during that whole Sentinel attack. I've been pretty busy the couple of hours healing everybody up. Everybody that wasn't captured by that creepy giant bat thing. It's funny but his face kind of looked like Angel's. Weird.

Anyway Cyclops ran off somewhere by himself. He told the others to get ready to go out on a rescue mission but the others said no. Beast said he wasn't able to track Kodiak and the others yet but he's hoping to have something figured out by tomorrow.

The good news is, with Cyclops gone, I've been put in charge of the party tonight! We usually only setup for a big shindig after we've won some kind of major battle, but I think Mr. Summers arranged this one 'cause he had something special in mind, though I'm not sure quite what. Apparently it involved some little blue pills that got destroyed in the Sentinel attack.

As host of this party, the first thing I did was send away the horrible music guest Cyclops had setup. It was Joey Fatone from Nsync. Man those guys were cheesy. What the heck was Cyke thinking?

I just popped in my house mix and blasted the stereo. Fortunately the main ball room was still in one piece. Everybody was loving the tunes! People were dancing and laughing. The best part was I talked Wolverine into letting us open the wine casks and we all had some serious alcohol! Apparently he had been planning to ditch with Shi but he came back.

It was great! Nightcrawler was swinging from the ceiling. Iceman was making out with Husk. Wolverine was making out with Shi. Warbird was dancing with everyone. Angel was putting the moves on Mary Jane. I don't know what happened but I saw them duck upstairs for a bit. I think he wanted to show her his priceless collection of Pygmy blow guns.

And best of all, I finally made it to first base with Dust. She said alcohol was against her religion but she had always been curious about it. I told her it let you do things you might otherwise not do and right then and there she leaned over and kissed me. I was like totally surprised but it was great. I tried to act all suave like I knew what the heck I was doing. I think she bought it.

Anyway, the party was great.

"Well Cyke, looks like we finished off the last a' them," said Wolverine.


"You ain't still whinin' about your care, are you?"

I looked up at Logan. How could that short little bastard be so cold?

"It wasn't just a car, it was a Corvette!"

"Damn. I didn't see you get this worked up when your wife died. Your priorities are out of whack."

Then Warbird came over. "Well, Mary Jane and Aunt May are safe at least. I'd say about 30 percent of the school was smashed. Plus we have all these Sentinel bodies lying around."

I looked down at the cracked vial in my hand that use to hold several little blue pills. My ticket to redemption. Gone. I threw it across the lawn.

"Vwat are ve goink to do about ze Zentinels zhat took Kodiak ant ze otherz?" Nightcrawler asked.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My car was smashed totally beyond repair and these clowns wanted to go on another mission? I jumped up and whirled on Nightcrawler. "You have been living in this country for how long now and you still haven't learned to speak right?! How the heck is anybody suppose to figure out a word you're saying with that ridiculous accent!"

"Vas dat a question? Because it zounded more like a ztatement, zo it vas phrazed like a question."

I briefly considered opening my visor on full blast an incinerating the annoying little elf.

"Fine. You want to go kick some more ass? Then patch up your damn wounds and meet me in the X-Jet hanger in two hours. Beast, you figure out some way to trace those Sentinels and whatever that big Annihilus looking thing was. I'm going to go check on Danny and then we are going to kick some serious ass."

"Scott?" asked Iceman. "We're going to get revenge?"

"Oh it's not revenge, it's punishment."

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I rushed outside at top speed. The giant wreckage of a smashed Sentinel was crashed into the door frame. The whole wall was buckling under it's weight. I managed to crawl through its smashed chest cage and made it to the back lawn.

A powerful energy burst burst into the ground in front of me. It took all my speed and strength to jump out of the way and roll with the blast. The Sentinel lumbered towards me but I just ignored and kept running ahead. She-Hulk jumped across the yard and grabbed onto the behemoths left leg. Straining all her muscles, she lifted it high up and sent the death machine crashing down onto the ground.

I continued charging ahead. Huge explosions erupted all around me. I tuned them out as I ran.

Finally I reached my destination. There amidst the ruined wreckage of mangled Sentinel was the remains of my beloved Corvette. I fell down onto my knees next to my poor, poor car. Tears flowed freely from my eyes.

"Wwaaaggghhhh!" I cried. "My beautiful babe magnet! Damn you Kodiak!"

A giant Sentinel foot crashed down into the ground next to me, rocking the Earth. It's other foot started to come down onto my head. Suddenly Colossus rushed to my side and with a ferocious roar smashed the machine with the most powerful blow I have ever seen. The Sentinel broke up into several pieces as it tumbled to the ground.

"Damn, mon ami," says Gambit, "zat was a strong punch, Colossus!"

"I just think of dat Spider-Man and pretend I am hitting his head!" Peter replied, looking for more robots to smash.

I tuned all that out and wrapped my arms around the smoldering ruins of my beloved.

My poor car!!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Oh man, I can't believe Storm fell for it twice in a row! She's off with Spider-Man and Shadowcat. I totally got her with that "go check the plane" thing a couple of weeks ago and now she bought the "I can't decide who should go on the away mission" routine. Ha! Like I can't make a simple choice. I am the Decider, man!

Everything is falling into place. I've made arraingments for a happening party tonight. Warbird is here and looking ready for action. My vial of little blue pills has arrived. Oh yeah. Tonight I'm going to show her who's gay. Ha!

Now then, I'll just got downstairs and check on the-


What the hell was that? I better check out the window and - agghh!! - what is Kodiak doing to my Corvette?!

"Put down my car you freak!!"

No!! He's throwing it at that Sentinel! Damn it!! It's smashed! Oh man this sucks!!

I feel the fetal position coming on.
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