Thursday, November 29, 2007

This afternoon as I sat in the back garden enjoying the brilliant colors of nature's seasonal firework display, I heard a high pitched whine coming from overhead. Looking up into the sky I saw a small object that was rapidly getting larger. I realized that something was coming straight towards me, very, very quickly. I also noticed that there was some dark smoke trailing from it.

Great. Just what I needed. Some power mad lunatic was launching an attack on the X-Men. Was it Apocalypse? The Brotherhood? Oprah?

I reached out with my mind to scan the object telepathically for any clues.

"Hey Professor," Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator responded to my mental command.

"Jon? What are you doing?"

"Coming to get you for our little undercover trip to Pittsburg, of course."

"Oh. You want me to come along?"

"Of course. You're the one who knows Mystique's MO. Plus you have those neato powers."

"Say Jon," I thought, "why is your ship smoking?"

"Oh, that's no big deal. We just had a little adventure getting here. Everything is under control now."

"Your ship is coming in awfully fast, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well the, er, retro boosters don't seem to be firing. They should come on any second. Yep, any second now."

The Danger Sled's speed was increasing dramatically as it hurtled directly towards me. My heart started to beat wildly. I heard Jon and Hudson start screaming in panic. Actually, it was more like Hudson was crying and Jon was telling him to shut the hell up. Either way, this was clearly the end. My life actually started to pass before my eyes. I recalled the time my step-brother, Cain Marko, gave me an atomic wedgie. I remembered the time Eric and I plotted the over-throw of the US government. I heard my ex-wife yelling at me to get the hell out of her house.

The roar from Jon's out of control ship drowned out all other sound. I was about to shut my eyes to try and pretend the impact wasn't about to happen when I saw the ship suddenly come to a complete stop. It hovered, hot and smoking, just a few feet over my head.

"Did I miss anything?" a female voice called from behind me. My head whipped around.

"Jean. Er, not much really. Glad to see you're back from California."

Monday, November 12, 2007

"Oh Jon, one more thing," I said, calling the Intergalactic Gladiator back. He and Hudson were in the Danger Sled, having just left the Batcave. You know, with Batman?

"Did you get someone else to particpate in the presidential debate?" he asked hopefully.

"Ah no, I'm afraid it's still just the one chimp, Lancelot Link. I hear he's very big in Iowa."


"Look, the reason why I called you back is because Cerebro finally managed to track down Mystique. We can confront her! Find out who set you up with that fake photo."

"Well that is good news. Where is she?"

"Pittsburg. She has set up a business there apparently."

"Sounds good. Are you going to send the X-Men to nab her?"

"No, that won't work with her. If she sees the team coming, she'll just slip away. If she senses me trying to probe her, same thing. She has excellent psychic defenses."

"So how do we get her?" Jon asked.

"Well, I was thinking that we could put you in disguise. She doesn't really know you so you could pose as a customer. Kind of an ironic twist there if you think about it. Heh heh."


"Well, she's a shape changer and you would be sort of changing your shape so . ."

"Yeah, I got it. Do you want us to pick you up?"

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