Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Jon flew his spaceship like a maestro. The Danger Sled wove a sleek path through the on-coming rush of enemy fighters. Deadly energy blasts flew past the hull, missing us by mere inches. Hudson sat in the gunner's chair and spat hot death at our assailants. Ships exploded in black fiery clouds all around us. But more assault crafts were launching from the mother ship in front of us. Our whole ship was rocked by a ray beam slamming into the undercarriage of the Sled. Everyone was tossed back and forth.

"Any more like that and we are toast, man!" Hudson cried.

"Just keep shooting!" Jon yelled back.

Gaia turned to me. "Professor, I am scanning those ships and they are flown by Brood pilots."

"That doesn't seem possible. The Brood aren't technically advanced enough too - wait, I am sensing something to - yes . . they all have Sentinel implants! There is a whole army of hybrids! Quick Gaia, can you disable their electronic components?"

"I-I don't know, Professor. There are so many of them." Her voice quavered with uncertainty. Another blast smashed into the hull. Sparks and smoke flew from the computer systems.

"We're venting plasma!" Hudson wailed.

"Just keep firing the damn guns!" bellowed Jon.

Five ships closed in on us. Gaia closed her eyes and tried to ignore the screaming emergency siren and shaking ship. One of the attackers suddenly started to veer off course, but the others were bearing down on us, spitting brilliant laser fire.

Just when it looked like we were about to die, two of the ships blew up in quick succession. A signal came through the ship's radio. "This is the Black Plague to Friendly Vessel. Need some help with those hostiles?"

I reached out telepathically and felt Magdalena. "Maggie, you should be back at the mansion recovering from your injuries! What on Earth are you doing here?"

"Saving your butt, of course!"

Two more ships exploded in flames. Gaia managed to disable several more of the hybrid pilots. Without their cybernetics implants, the Brood had no idea how to fly. When we had managed to finish off most of the attack craft, we moved in on the mothership. As we closed in, three more motherships appeared from around the farside of Jupiter. The giant crafts were headed straight for us.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Vampirella, Captain Picard, Pantha, Wolverine and myself managed to destroy an evil Nubian tomb slash temple in Egypt. I actually used a sword to behead bizarre undead warriors. It was quite the thrilling adventure. Fighting beside Captain Picard was also a very interesting experience. I have often heard people comment that there is a resemblance between us. In case you are having trouble, one way to tell us apart is that he still has a bit of hair around the sides of his head, whereas I am completely smooth and sexy.

When we returned to New York, I was able to clear Vampirella's name with the police. Picard was also quite relieved to find that the Enterprise had managed to complete a time warp and effectuate a rescue. It was fairly obvious that even though he clearly enjoyed a temporal adventure, he was glad to be going back to his own time.

Now that the other loose ends were tied up, it was time to face the threat behind the recent clone conspiracy. The two Mr. Sinisters had been fleeing in the direction of Asteroid X, the home of the Sentinel/Brood hybrid which Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator and some of the X-Men had raided a few months ago. It was there that I knew we would find all the answers.

I called on Jon's help again. He met us with his Danger Sled and our team departed for the outer reaches of our solar system. I had wanted to bring Vampirella with us but she had returned to her home to take care of some outstanding personal business. Missions are much more fun with her somehow. Especially the victory celebrations.

Our team consisted of Jon and his sidekick, Private Hudson, Wolverine (because he insists on going on each and every mission), Gaia, Mystique, Cyclops, Beast and Cannonball. Hudson and Logan had a tense moment as they took their seats.

"You're that damn punk that shot me during the Amazin' Mutant Race, ain't you?" Wolverine said, popping his claws.

"Hey man, fair is fair. You can't deny that."

"There ain't nothin' fair about shootin' somebody in the back, bub." Wolverine brought his claws up to Hudson's neck.

"Game over, man!" Hudson yelled nervously.

"That's enough, Logan," Gaia interrupted. "This is a little more serious than whatever grudge you think you have. Right?"

Wolverine looked at her for a long moment before nodding. His claws retracted. "We still got some unfinished business, bub," he growled under his breath to Hudson.

As we rushed through space at near light speed, Jon called me over.

"The thing is Professor, I know the Sinisters' rocket was headed on a direct course to Asteroid X, but Cyclops had destroyed it on our last visit. I mean, it was gone. I really don't know what we are going to find."

"What is our estimated time of arrival to the location of the late asteroid?"

"Actually, we should be just coming up to . . holy crap!"

All eyes turned to the front viewport. There ahead of us was a giant alien spaceship, as big as the island of Manhattan. Dozens of smaller attack ships were flying out of it, heading directly for us, there weapons powering up.

"I hope you have shields on this thing," I said.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator threw his spaceship into overdrive as he tried to close in on the Sinister twins racing ahead of us in their rocket. They had in their possession the Spear of Destiny, an incredibly powerful artifact.

Vampirella turned to me. "We have ruined their plans. Where do they think they can go?"

"That doesn't matter now," said Magdalena. "We have to get that spear back! And if we can't, then we have to destroy it!"

Gaia volunteered to use her powers as a conduit, linking Maggie with the spear so that she could control it. Despite the danger, Maggie was able to reach out to the spear. Somehow that contact triggered a massive power surge and the spear exploded in a gigantic fireball, completely incinerating the rocket and it's passengers. The spear appeared to be destroyed.

Our mission accomplished, Jon returned us to the Weapon X base to mop up. As the others disembarked, Jon pulled me aside.

"Professor, I ran the Sinisters projected course through the telemetry machine. They were on a bee-line for Asteroid X."

"But I thought you and Cyclops destroyed it Jon."

"Not really. We killed that giant Brood/Sentinel hybrid and did a lot of damage to the structure there, but that's about it."

"So you think the Brood may still be using Asteroid X as a base?"

Jon's only response was a shrug. Clearly the asteroid was going to have to be investigated. But first I had some very important business to take care of.

Deadpool's MEME
If you were to ghost write Deadpool's autobiography, what would you name it?
"Streisand, the Early Years"

If Simon Cowell were to ask you to help takeover France with Deadpool and himself, would you accept?
I would have to take a pass. I have enough problems just trying to run my school.

On a scale of 50-100, with 50 being mind blowing and 100 being drooling the Nile river, how would you rate Bea Arthur?
Bea Arthur? You mean that elderly lady from the Golden Girls? While I certainly admire her talents as an actress, and of course not wanting to be superficial, I really couldn't see myself going higher than perhaps 25 or so. No offense Ms. Arthur, if you happen to read this.

If you were to appear on Deadpool's show, who would you play?
I'm already on his show! And I can't wait for the next episode. If he doesn't fill his contractual obligations to produce a certain number of shows, the network may come after him for breach

List 5 ways to improve tacos.
The fact is, I am a fajita man myself.

Would you die for Deadpool?
Err, this is just hypothetical, right? Yeah sure, I would die for Deadpool. Hypothetically.

Do you find Cable's eyes dreamy?
I have to admit, Cable does have a certain something. But I'm still planning to spend the evening with Vampirella and several pounds of chocolate.

Tag 1 more person than the person who tagged you meaning if person A tags 4 people, you tag 5 and the people you tag, have to tag 6.
I'm all about bringing peace and building bridges. Therefore I can't in good conscience tag others. Besides, I think all of my regular comrades have been tagged already.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

We met Storm's team outside the old Weapon X base. The place was clearly alive with activity. Gaia's team had not yet arrived but we had no time to wait. Whatever Sinister and the Brood were up to, their plans could not be allowed to continue one second longer. Joe Fixit and Wolverine were busy in New York taking out the clone sleeper cells. That left the rest of us to move on Weapon X.

There were no active defenses as we entered the facility. Several passages ways split from the main chamber. Scanning telepathically I could sense no one, but there were obviously people here. I had us split into various teams to explore the base.

Magdalena took Cyclops and Colossus. Mystique, Storm and Beast went off down the left side tunnel. I had Vampirella, Phoenix and Gambit with me as we started down the main passage. The others broke up into smaller teams and picked different tunnels.

We hadn't gone very far before we encountered resistance. A large metal door slid open and Madelyne Pryor, the Goblyn Queen, appeared before us, surrounded by snarling Brood warriors.

"I zought she vas dead?" Gambit said in his faux-French accent.

"Obviously she's a clone," I answered.

"A clone of a clone. How pathetic," Vampi sneered.

"That bitch is mine!" Jean screamed, instantly rising into the air. Her body was covered in a layer of twisting flames as she charged at Pryor.

Somehow the Goblyn Queen was able to tap into the Phoenix Force, too. She met Jean's attack with equal ferocity. As the two flaming titans clashed, Vampirella and Gambit moved to engage the Brood.

Vampirella attacked with the grace of a jungle cat, her body a fluid stream of thrusts and parries as she cut down alien monster after alien monster. She managed to side-step all of their assaults without sustaining any injury. Gambit was not as lucky.

He energized several of his playing cards and flicked them at the rapidly approaching beasts. Though he managed to blow-up a few of them, they swarmed over him before he could recharge. Fortunately for him, I brought my Hoover Chair with fully loaded combat options this time. Flipping open the front panels, I had the electro-rods extend. Thermo lightening flew from the rounded balls on the end and blasted the Brood to kingdom come.

When the battle was over, all the Brood were down and Jean was standing over the once again lifeless body of Madelyne Pryor. I tried to reach the other teams telepathically but for some reason, I could not. Something in the structure of the base itself seemed to be preventing it.

We proceeded ahead, down into the bowels of Weapon X. When we finally reached the main control room, we found two Sinister's cackling like the mad-men they are. There were also two Sabertooths and two Wolverines standing next to them. The group stood before some kind of giant round cylinder stretching from the floor to the ceiling. Several Brood moved towards us. I noticed that Sinister held a long spear in his hand. It was the spear that Maggie had been carrying. She called it the Spear of Destiny.

Jean unleashed a tremendous blast of energy at the Brood and they were all thrown back. The Sinister Twins looked over at us with some concern. Just then all the other teams burst into the chamber. Though my telepathy did not seem to be working, I could feel the fear radiating from the Sinisters.

A panel slid open in the giant cylinder next to them. Bastion emerged from the doorway and waved them inside. We all started to move toward them but more Brood dropped from the ceiling. It didn't take long for our combined forces to destroy them, but they had managed to delay us long enough for the giant rocketship the Sinisters had entered to start to launch. We just managed to get under cover in time to avoid being fried by the back blast.

Jean telekenetically raised our entire group up the still smoldering shaft to the surface just in time for us to see the rocket receding off into space. Gaia's team arrived in Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator's Danger Sled at that very moment. I was able to reach her telepathically in time to tell her to keep the engine's running. We all got onboard Jon's ship.

"Follow that rocket!" I bellowed.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The X-Jet landed on the hidden platform under the retractable basketball court and the X-Men disembarked. Along with us were Magdalena, Joe Fixit and a rapidly recovering Vampirella. We had managed to successfully destroy Mr. Sinister's clone factory, which had been producing clones of the X-Men at a fast pace. There was also a Brood Queen present which Vampi had managed to overcome singly handedly. That girl is truly amazing.

I must say, Magdalena is also rather intriguing. She has tremendous devotion to her destiny and an almost overpowering sense of responsibility. Not to mention commitment and skill. It will be very interesting to see how she develops.

Gaia's team has not yet reported in. Hopefully they had an easier time than we did. Sinister had claimed that there were multiple clones of Gaia at the other base. Hopefully he was just bluffing. Either way, with Deadpool, Cable and Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator on her team, I was confident she could overcome any threat she might find.

When I got back to my study, I found a message waiting from Storm. Her team arrived at the Weapon X facility in Canada and according to her, there is a lot of activity at the base. Before we can join her though, the five satellite clone sleeper cells scattered around New York City have to be dealt with.

Joe Fixit had done an amazing job taking care of Juggernaut for me. Apparently my step-brother had his power greatly increased by some evil magicians. It turns out by amazing coincidence that was a part of this massive conspiracy as well. I asked Joe if he could take Wolverine and destroy those sleeper cells before the clones become activated. Though he seemed a little put out at the idea of working with Logan, he agreed. I thought it best to keep Logan from the Weapon X base.

I also had another surprise waiting in my office. Mystique had returned. I asked her if she was up for a mission to Canada and she readily agreed. She seemed rather distraught about something though she wouldn't say what. The distraction would be quite welcome, she said.

Hopefully Fixit will be able to destroy those bases. This will leave Vampirella, Magdalena and me and my X-Men free for our showdown with Bastion at Weapon X.

Monday, February 20, 2006

A ferocious battle erupted with the X-Men and Vampirella throwing themselves at Sinister and his X-Men clones in the old not-quite-as-abandoned-as-I-had-thought Sentinel base. You can read Vampi's report of the first part of the battle here. She was the x-factor we needed to turn the tide against the clones. Just when it looked like we were about to win though, Sinister brought out another whole set of X-Men clones. Whew. This was going to be a long day.

As the two warrior groups moved towards each other for another round of battle, a large shattering sound above us stopped everyone in their tracks. An armor clad woman with a flowing cape and a really, really long sword dropped down from the ceiling. With a single blast she took out four of the clones before moving fluidly to my side. Unfortunately, it turns out that we just over a trap door. I wish I had brought my hover-chair.

On the bright side, the chair I did have has excellent shock absorbers. I was a bit dazed after the fall, but the woman recovered quickly. She introduced herself as Magdalena. Before we had a real chance to introduce ourselves though, a metal door slid open and a giant Brood warrior skittered in. Followed by another, and another.

I tried to reach out psionically to the beasts but their pea sized brains were simply not complex enough to be effected. I flipped open the rocket launchers on my chair and fired both barrels toward the charging hoard. Several of the alien monsters went flying but more were coming through the smoky cloud.

With a fearsome battle cry, Magdalena sprung towards the space creatures. In a blur of silvery steel, body parts went flying. Terrible death screams filled the small chamber until finally all was still. Magdalena and I looked at each other and we were both fine. We charged through the open door into the heart of Sinister's base. I hope Gaia and her team are having an easier time of it in the other base. It also seems that Juggernaut and some unknown mages are involved in this conspiracy. Fortunately Joe Fixit was able to stop him in time.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Vampirella and I shared a bottle of Prydaen Bloodwine, as we basked in the afterglow of the moment. I felt a deep inner peace, totally one with my body and all of nature. Everything seemed perfect. Except for one little thing. I rubbed the tiny twin punctures on my neck and wondered if she could really control the release of the poison that causes vampirism. I had already had a glimpse of an alternate reality where I had become the Hulk. 'What If Professor Xavier became Dracula' I don't need to see.

I was about to ask her about it when I received an urgent call from Gaia. She and her team had investigated the abandoned Sentinel factory in Virginia for any clues as to the Brood/ Sentinel/ Hellfire alliance that has been plaguing us. She found the base fully active and in the process of producing accelerated growth clones of the X-Men. This indeed is a serious problem. The team managed to escape and Gaia was able to destroy the base.

The immediate danger is that there are two other former Sentinel factories that I know Master Mold has used. It is entirely possible that these have also be reactivated as clone laboratories. Fearing the worst, I called in some friends and split us up into three teams. I lead one with Vampirella, Cyclops, Wolverine, Colossus, Beast and Phoenix. As Gaia did such a capable job at the first base, I had her lead the second team to one of the factories. She had Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator and his Danger Sled, Cable, Deadpool, Beast, Northstar and several other X-Men with her. Storm lead the third team to the former Weapon X factory where it has been rumored that Bastion, the amalgamation of Master Mold and Nimrod, has set up his headquarters. What his part in this is, we aren't sure. Her mission is merely recognizance.

Cyclops flew the X-Jet at top speed to Wyoming, where one of the former Sentinel bases was located. I could sense right away that the structure had some kind of psionic shielding around it. Clearly, someone was home.

Landing the jet and we moved on the base. Surprisingly, we encountered no resistance. As we entered the dilapidated building, I began to wonder if we had been wrong, if the place really was abandoned.

"No way," said Wolverine. "I smell fresh scents. There are people here."

"I agree, Charles," said Vampirella. "And there is a very dark presence."

None the less, we moved through the base undisturbed. When we got to the doors of the main lab, there was definitely an audible humming, like large scale machines in operation. The giant metal doors slide open and behind them was revealed a large pale skinned male in a metallic blue uniform with a weird cape made of straps flowing behind him.

"Mr. Sinister, I should have known," I said.

"I appreciate your punctuality," he replied. "You are right on schedule."

"On schedule for what?" I asked, as another set of double doors to the side slid open.

"Sebastian Shaw had his task, taking out the hero's communication network as well as several who would rise to oppose us. We all have our role to play. Mine is to eliminate you and the X-Men. I now consider that mission accomplished."

Out of the doors came a man in a wheelchair who looked exactly like me. Behind him walked Wolverine, Colossus, Cyclops and many more X-Men. They all wore green jumpsuits. The coldness in their eyes told me that Sinister had left out their humanity in the cloning process.

"Just so you don't think I've forgotten about your other team, there are a whole other set of X-Men to meet them."

I just smiled. Gaia had taken out the first base quite easily. I was fully confident she could do the same again.

As if reading my mind, Sinister said, "Oh, and if you think that witch will have such an easy time of it, I have four fully grown Gaia clones at the other base with the X-Men. She won't stand a chance."

His cold evil cackle filled the cavernous chamber. This was going to be tough.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I wiped Vampirella's lipstick from my mouth and jumped down onto my chair. Fortunately I had brought my advanced hover model with all the James Bond-y bells and whistles. A large ball of dark flame rose from the Hellfire Club just outside of Central Park.

"Should I come help, Charles?" Vampirella asked.

"Ooh, me me me!!" Hotstuff yelled from the front of the carriage.

"Vampi, as much as I would love for you to come, you have Hotstuff and perhaps it wouldn't be wise. Go back to your Hotel and when this is over, I will meet you there."

I could see that she was a bit disappointed to be left out of the potential action, but the fact is I find Vampirella rather distracting. I had been so captivated by her in fact, that I had tuned out the mental communications, actually, the calls for help, from my X-Men.

I put my chair into over-drive and raced to the Club. A large chunk of the roof was caved in and a long plume of smoke was rising from it. Scanning the wreckage psionically, I found Wolverine, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Storm, and Gambit locked in a mortal battle in the main ballroom on the third floor with Hellfire troops, led personally by Sebastian Shaw, the Black King. I had sent a second team, Gaia, Cable, Northstar and Shadowcat to the old Master Mold base to see if they could find any leads to the Sentinel involvement.

Flicking the safety catch on the armrest, I pressed the large red button activating the turbo jet in the undercarriage. I shot up the three stories and crashed through the large plateglass window into the smoking ballroom.

Both Nightcrawler and and Cyclops were sprawled on the floor unconscious. The Hellfire troops were shooting their energy rifles at the team but Colossus was standing out front, taking the blasts squarely in the chest.

As soon as I burst into the room, I used my psionic powers to take control of several of the troopers. I had them turn their guns on their comrades and then themselves. The Black King, Sebastian Shaw, unfortunately had psi-blocker head gear on, so I couldn't reach him. With his troops eliminated, I assumed the remaining X-Men could make short work of him. Instead, Shaw started laughing.

"This was all a trap to bring you here, Xavier. You were a fool to come!"

"What is it you want this time, Shaw?" I asked with vehemence.

"Oh, the usual, global domination. The new friends I've made will ensure that all my dreams come true. Time to say goodbye, Xavier!"

A large metal barrier suddenly raised in the far wall and a screaming hoard of Brood warriors charged in. Instead of their usual clawed hands, they had cybernetic Sentinel repulsor hands, and they were firing at us like they knew how to use them.

Wolverine charged ahead, claws out, howling in full berserker rage. He was cut down almost instantly in a hail of energy blasts. Colossus was also struggling to stay afoot against a heavy barrage. Gambit ducked behind him and grabbed onto the floor with both hands. Glowing energy flowed from his fingers down through the wood surface. In no time at all, the entire floor was vibrating with raw pulsating energy. I could see where this was going.

Putting my chair into top speed, I charged at Colossus and Gambit and smashed into them, pushing them across the room and out the far window as Storm scooped up the still bodies of Cyclops and Nightcrawler and fled out another window. Just as we cleared the sill, the floor erupted with a massive explosion of pure kinetic energy. The whole top two floors of the Club were vaporized. There was no sign of Shaw.

We searched what was left of the Club. Inside Shaw's private chambers, I found a data disc detailing Shaw's part of the larger scheme. His function indeed was to eliminate the hero's communication network on the blogosphere and to take out major threats to the plan - namely myself and the X-Men. Obviously Shaw was just a pawn in someone else's game. Or maybe a knight or bishop. Not a rook, though.

Before we returned to Westchester, I checked my cel phone messages. There were several from Vampirella. Apparently she also had quite the adventure after we left each other. I rushed downtown to her side. Fortunately I had my credit card with me. Bail wasn't cheap.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I have decided that the only way to proceed in the face of this latest crisis is an all-out frontal assault by the X-Men on the Hellfire Club. Clearly they are involved in some insidious way with the Sentinel/Brood alliance and I must find out what. The threat to the Earth is far too great to just wait for them to tell us. It's time to go on the offensive.

While the X-Men launched their attack on the mansion complex on Central Park West in Manhattan, I was also in New York, maintaining a close vigil, in case they needed my help. In order to stay close while remaining discreet, I chose a convenient cover. I went on a date with Vampirella to the Tavern on the Green restaurant in Central Park, just a few blocks from the Club.

The beautiful Vampirella had come to the city earlier in the day with the baby demon Hotstuff. They had some rather unique experiences which you can read about here. Now I realize you might not think that Vampirella and Hotstuff could possibly be considered to be "discreet," but you can rest assured that using my mental powers to manipulate the minds of the restaurant patrons, everyone saw them like this -

Dinner was rather enjoyable. I just find Vampirella to be one of the most fascinating women that I have ever met. It's not just the drinking blood or the skimpy outfits. She really has a love of life and an optimism about the future that is quite refreshing. She filled me in quite a bit about her background, including painting a rather interesting picture of her mother, Lilith, who has left various threatening messages for me. I get the idea that her mother sees me as a threat.

During the course of our meal, Hotstuff spent much of his time leaping from table to table, taking bites of food off people's plates and then throwing the rest across the room. If I hadn't been altering people's perceptions and memories, he would have created quite a stir.

Following the dinner, Vampirella and I took a rather cozy carriage ride through Central Park. Hotstuff spent the time whispering into the horse's ear. Vampirella snuggled against me for warmth. The full moon bathed the wintry scene in a cool white glow. A light dusting of snow capped the trees and rolling hills of the park. We could have been anywhere, anytime. I held her tightly in my arms and thought that this was the only place on Earth that I wanted to be. We kissed. It was heaven.

Then a large explosion just outside the park rattled out carriage. At first I thought it was the magic of our passion. Then I realized it came from the Hellfire Club. It suddenly occured to me that I had been tuning out my X-Men. When I looked over to the Central Park West, I saw the Club mansion on fire.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Well I certainly do have some interesting news for you, my friends. This past weekend, as you may know, I went on an undercover mission. The recent re-appearance of the mysterious sentinel and Brood alliance has of course caused tremendous alarm in everyone. You may remember that a few months ago, Jon, the Intergalactic Gladiator traveled with the X-Men to confront the hybrid Queen/sentinel on an asteroid far out in our solar system. Their amazing success seemed to spell the end of the Brood assault on the Earth. Apparently they had only succeeded in pushing back whatever sinister plans were afoot. And I do mean "sinister".

During the Amazing Mutant Race 2, I overheard Emma Frost and Selene discussing the Hellfire Club's involvement in this strange alliance. That group is well known for their maniacal machinations. The goal of my mission was to determine whether they were behind the sentinel/Brood attacks, of merely some ancillary instrument of another's plan.

Jean Grey, who briefly adopted her Black Queen persona again a few weeks ago, spent a weekend at the Hellfire Club. She told me that she overhead members of the Club planning to infilitrate a large convention in New York City. Acting on this information, I decided to infilitrate the convention too. That's where I was this weekend. At the 2006 Toy Fair in New York.

Unforunately the Inner Circle of the Club has managed to get ahold of Magneto's telepathy blocker headgear, so I can't simply pull the desired information from their minds. I had to result to subtly. Normally I send in X-Men to do this kind of thing, but with the crowds and all the media attention on the event, I really didn't want anyone making a scene. Missions always seem to end in large-scale climactic battles whenever the X-Men are involved. Using my mental powers, though unable to directly manipulate the minds of the Inner Circle, I could control the people around them. That does make things rather easy.

Rather than bore you with all the ho-hum details of my espionage, I will simply tell you about the information I uncovered. The Hellfire Club have been inserting microchips into special limited release action figures of some of the most important members of the blogosphere. Through this, they knew that these highly valuable collectibles would wind-up in the hands of the of the people they represent, either through friends or fans giving novelty items or through agents or managers showing their clients how much they do for them. Once the figures were in the hands of the actual people, the microchips would then activate, killing those people in horrible firey explosions. The result is two-fold: the blog hero network would be crippled, the information pipeline shut down at important condtuits and, far more importantly, dynamic hefenders who could rise up to stop their evil plans would be eliminated.

I managed to head-off most of the tainted figures. Unfortunately I missed two. If you see them, handle with extreme care!

Friday, February 10, 2006

I'm off on a very top secret mission this weekend. As such I will be inncomunicado. When I return Tuesday, I should be able to tell you the details. I hope you all have a safe and happy Washington's Birthday weekend. To those of you outside of the United States, he was one of our presidents.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

My eyes opened and my nostrils filled with the heavenly scent of cool night passion. As I looked around my bedroom, I felt a pang of regret that Vampirella was not waking up beside me. We had spent an incredible night together two days ago and I find that I can't get her out of my mind. I don't know how much of a future two people like us can have together, but I think I might like to find out.

With a resigned sigh, I got out of bed and got ready to greet the day. One of the first things I did, as usual, was check my inbox to see if there were any crises brewing. I knew of course that I would have to get on this Sentinel/Brood thing before they attacked again, but when I saw that Oprah had returned, my blood went cold.

As you may recall, Oprah is one of the most powerful mutants on the planet - and pure evil. She had been blasted to some distant part of the galaxy during that whole Apocalypse thing, but somehow she had managed to make it back. And now she was after David Chappelle.

You may not know this, but Chappelle is also a mutant. He has the amazing power to make people laugh. Certain other people find this threatening and a coalition of powerful media folks has assembled to try and stop him. Oprah is the leader of this consortium and it looks like she might be winning him over to the dark side. You can read about it here at The Chappelle Theory.

The e-mail contained video clip highlights from Chappelle's recent appearance on Oprah's show. Some how that she-beast succubus got him to admit that his comedy was harmful. Her power to twist people's minds is frightening. Clearly she must be stopped.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

As Cyclops, Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Gambit boarded the X-Jet for our mission to see Constantine in Los Angeles, Gaia, wearing a cast on her leg and riding in one of my wheelchairs, came up to me and asked why I was wasting time with Vampirella rather than trying to rescue Cable from the Sentinel. I assured her that Cable was a big boy and could take care of himself, where as Vampirella was extremely sexy and needed a favor.

I boarded the plane and two hours later was back in California. I had Nightcrawler search the internet for Constantine's location. This rather simple task seemed to be taking a rather long time. Scanning his mind telepathically, I soon found out why.

"Kurt! You know the FBI monitors those sites! Stop that at once!"

"Oh, um, I must have clicked the wrong link. I don't know how-"

"Just get off there and find Constantine," I told him.

His office listing was in downtown LA. Cyclops set the X-Jet in stealth mode and hovered down to the roof of the rather decrepit brownstone in the rather seamy part of town in which it was located. We found his apartment and entered.

His head turned slowly towards us. "It's a little early for Halloween, isn't it?" he asked in a dry raspy voice.

"My name is Charles Xavier and I am here to help a friend. I need the Book of Eibon."

His head slowly nodded as he stubbed out his cigarette and lit another.

"You know you smoke like that and you're going to get cancer," Cyclops told him.

"Been there, done that," he answered. Turning to me, he continued, "Your friend, she's not a half-naked vampire/alien by any chance, is she?"

"As a matter of fact, she is."

He continued nodding. "Then not a chance. You don't know what that book can do."

"I know that a friend of mine has great need of it and I will be leaving here with it." I could feel Cyclops and the others bristle in surprise at my forcefulness.

Constantine fixed me with a hard stare. "You really don't want to get too attached to that one, doc. People close to her have a way of dying."

"I can take care of myself. I need that book."

Constantine took a long puff on his cigarette and sat silently, staring out the window. Finally he said, "Just can't do it. Sorry. Thanks for coming. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out."

The anger rose up within me and I reached out psionically to dominate his mind. To my surprise, there was a protective shell around him that I couldn't penetrate. He smiled at me and pulled a wooden totem from his breast pocket. With a loud "snnikktt," Wolverine popped his claws.

Just then a strange mist formed over the center of the table Constantine was sitting at. He sprang up and backed away as a rift opened in the mist. A huge screaming beast with leathery wings and giant fangs flew out and charged at him.

Cyclops blasted the thing optically full on. The monster was sent crashing across the room but it quickly got back up and let out a terrible shriek. The noise was deafening. It charged straight at us now.

Wolverine was the first to recover. Just as it was about to tear into a doubled over Cyclops, at the very last possible moment, Wolverine's claws sank deep into the creature's torso. It screamed again, but this time it was a death howl.

As the now lifeless carcass crashed onto the tiled floor. Constantine looked over at me and then walked over to the table. He opened a drawer, pulled out an ancient looking tome and tossed it on my lap.

"I hope you know what you're getting into, doc."

Friday, February 03, 2006

Yesterday I stopped in on Gaia at the Avengers Headquarters' Hospital. She had just awoken from her comatose state that her heroic battle against the Brood in Central Park had left her in.

"Good morning, my dear!" I said cheerfully. "You are looking quite lovely. Hank tells me he expects you to make a full recovery in no time at all."

"Hi, Professor. Thanks for coming to see me. Yeah, he told me I'd be alright but . . I can't move my legs."

"I know how you feel. It's really not so bad. You get the best parking spaces, preferred seating for concerts and restaurants . ."

"That's great and all but it's go me a little scarred."

"Nonsense. Hank knows what he's doing. He is a genious, you know. He says you'll be all better in no time. Your back injury is healing nicely and sensation should return to your legs very quickly. Since the one leg is broken though, you will have to stay off your feet for a few weeks. And the best part is, you have an excuse to have a lot of chocolate."

I handed Gaia the box of Godiva that I'd brought. A large smile crossed her face and she dug in. After exchange good-byes, I headed downtown to find Vampirella, with whom I had a surprisingly enjoyable evening last week. She had received some rather distressing news from a friend and it seemed to have triggered some kind of rage within her. I wanted to see if I could help. I caught up with her down town. She was dressed in ninja garb and was loaded with various weapons.

"Whatever it is you have planned, Vampi, it seems like you are anticipating a battle. Let me and my X-Men help," I said.

"No Xavier, I must do this alone."

"Of course you don't have to go it alone. You have friends and we can help. We do this kind of thing all the time."

"You are a dear and I really do appreciate your good heart, but this is personally. If you do want to help though, there is something you can do."

"Anything," I said.

"There is a man in Los Angeles. He has a special book as well as the tools to use it. If you can get those things from him, it will help me tremendously."

"It will be my pleasure. What's his name?"


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

As the four Brood warriors charged towards a startled Gaia, the giant Sentinel with Cable in it's grasp flew straight up into the sky. I could tell from his limited psychokinetic impulses that Cable was unconscious. The rest of the patrons in the crowded Tavern on the Green restaurant were screaming in panic.

Eight deadly pinchers all lunged at Gaia. Quickly regaining her senses, she leapt high into the air and flipped over the backs of the vicious, large fanged alien insectoids. The Brood swept around to face her. Realizing her first responsibility was to protect the diners, Gaia used her telekenetic powers to propel herself far backwards, out into the cool night air of Central Park.

One the warriors jumped on top of her. Gaia was able to create a force shield around herself at the last possible moment. The savage beast bounced off the invisible bubble. Two more came rushing forward. A powerful orange energy bolt shot from Gaia's hand and smashed into one of the over-sized bugs. As he floundered hopelessly, his partner jabbed ferociously at Gaia's chest but she side stepped the attack. The bug swung again but Gaia raised a partial shield, deflecting his blow. She then unleashed another force bolt, sending the bug flying back into the first one. The two tumbled into the brick side of the restaurant.

The third bug got to its six legs and rushed towards her. Gaia mentally lifted it high into the air. As she was deciding what to do with it, the fourth warrior crept silently up behind her and thrust it's razor claw deep into her back. Gaia screamed out in pain and collapsed. The insect she had been holding high in the sky crashed to the earth. All the Brood skittered away into the darkness as Gaia slipped into unconsciousness.

I had already contacted the Scarlet Witch to assist as soon as I found out about the attack. Fortunately she arrived at just that moment on her jet scooter. She quickly loaded the unconscious Gaia aboard and rushed her to the Avenger's medical facility. I gathered together several X-Men and we rushed in the X-Jet to Manhattan.
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