Sunday, September 24, 2006

"Hey, Onslaught!"

"WHAT IS IT, FRED?"

"I just picked up a police transmission on this CB you stole out of that truck. Two people matching Henchman and Magdalena's description have just been seen at Yankee Stadium, apparently fighting a vampire or something."

"THEN NOW IS THE MOMENT OF MY VENGENCE!! BBWAAHAHAAHAHAA - urrrk - hacckkkkurrrpp - EXCUSE ME. A DORITO WENT DOWN THE WRONG WAY. NOW - ON TO EVIL!"

I CREATED A WORMHOLE OPENING RIGHT ON THE SECOND BASE MOUND. HENCHMAN AND MAGG- I MEAN, 'THE WHORE' - WERE STANDING NEAR THE HOME PLATE OVER A PILE OF ASHES.

"NOW, YOU PATHETIC WORMS, YOU WILL PAY FOR ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING YOU CAUSE ME. YOU WILL PAY WITH YOU LIVES!"

"This is insanity!"

"Don't waste your breath, Maggie. This jerkwad can't hear you. Now we finish it."

"OH YEAH, HENCHMAN? WELL . . DOUBLE JERKWAD ON YOU!"

I SAW FRED CIRCLE AROUND BEHIND THEM, OBVIOUSLY GETTING IN POSITION FOR A REAR ATTACK. SUDDENLY A LITTLE TAN MUTT CAME YAPPING FROM THE DUG OUT AT ME. I KICKED IT. BWWAHAHAAAHHAHAAA!!

"YOUR NEXT!" I THUNDERED, POINTING AT HENCHMAN. I FIRED OFF A HUGE VOLLEY OF PSYCHO-KINETIC ENERGY. IT BLASTED INTO HIM HARD, SENDING HIS BODY FLYING OFF IN ONE DIRECTION, AND HIS RIGHT ARM IN ANTOHER. THEN I TURNED ON THE WHORE.

MY FISTS POWERED UP WITH ANOTHER TREMENDOUS SURGE OF POWER. THIS WOULD DISINTIGRATE HER. THE BOLT LEAPT FROM MY FINGER TIPS SHOOTING STRAIGHT FOR HER HEAD.

JUST BEFORE IMPACT THOUGH, A PORTAL OPENED AND MY BLAST WENT THROUGH. KOMA!

I HEARD A TREMENDOUS RUSHING SOUND FROM BEHIND ME JUST SECONDS BEFORE THE BLAST SLAMMED INTO MY BACK. THAT FIND HAD OPENED THE OTHER END OF THE PORTAL BEHIND ME!

I WENT CRASHING INTO THE STANDS BEHIND HOMEPLATE. AS I LOOKED UP, A SAW AN ORANGE FORM HOVERING BEFORE ME. HIS HANDS GLOWED. VEGETA!

HE SLAMMED HIS FISTS INTO ME AND SENT ME SOARING FAR INTO THE OUTFIELD. AS I FLEW THROUGH THE AIR, ONE QUESTION RANG IN MY MIND. HOW DID THEY KNOW TO BE HERE? IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THIS WAS A TRAP.

UNDERNEATH THE BUZZING MY HEAD, I COULD HEAR ANOTHER VOICE. IT WAS CALLING TO XAVIER. I KNEW THAT VOICE. FRED! I REALIZED THEN THAT VOICE HAD BEEN WITH ME ALL ALONG.

"JUDAS!!" I SHOUTED. I UNLEASHED A HUGE TIDAL WAVE OF MAGENTIC FORCE THAT SHOOK THE VERY GROUND AND BLASTED THROUGH THE FAR BLEACHERS.

I STARTED TO CHARGE UP THE FIELD BUT SUDDENLY MY FEET FLEW OUT FROM UNDER ME. I CRASHED ONTO A SHEET OF ICE. I STARTED TO STAND BUT A RUBY RAY ZAPPED ME IN THE SHOULDER AND SENT ME SPRAWLING FACE FIRST ON THE ICE.

AND THEN THE UBIQUITOUS WOLVERINE MADE HIS APPEARANCE. HE JUMPED ON MY BACK AND STARTED CLAWING AT MY HELMET. I COULD HEAR THE METAL TEARING.

WITH A QUICK SHRUG, I SENT HIM HURTLING INTO THE STANDS. THEN I FELT TELEKENETIC FINGERS PRYING OFF MY LOOSE HELMET. GAIA!

I GRABBED AT MY HELMET AND HELD IT DOWN. I SENT A STRONG PSIONIC FEEDBACK AT HER, JARRING HER GRIP FREE.

A HIGH-PITCHED SOUND MADE ME WHIRL - JUST IN TIME TO SEE MAGDALENA'S BLADE SLICE THROUGH MY DAMAGED HELMET. I LUNGED FORWARD, GRABBING HER SQUIRMING BODY IN MY RED RIGHT HAND. I EASILY KNOCKED HER SWORD LOOSE.

"ALL THIS WAS FOR NAUGHT, WHORE! NOW YOU DIE!!"

I CLOSED MY FIST TIGHTLY, SQUEEZING THE VERY LIFE FROM HER.

SUDDENLY ALL MY SENSES WERE ASSAULTED AT ONCE. THE ROAR IN MY EARS OVERWHELMED ME. LOOKING AROUND THROUGH A FOG, I COULD JUST MAKE OUT JON THE INTERGALACTIC INTERLOPER STANDING A FEW YARDS AWAY, FIRING A HAND GUN AT ME.

I DROPPED MAGDALENA AND TRIED TO LUMBER TOWARDS HIM. EVERY STEP WAS PAIN BUT I MADE IT. THOUGH I LOOMED OVER HIM, HE CONTINUED FIRING THAT INFERNAL WEAPON AT MY UNPROTECTED HEAD.

PULLING BACK MY FIST, I SWATTED AT HIM. AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND, KOMA TELEPORTED HIM OUT OF HARM'S WAY.

BUT NOW I WAS FREE OF HIS GUN. MY HEAD STARTED TO CLEAR. I COULD JUST MAKE OUT THE SPIKEY HAIRED ORANGE BLUR ZOOMING TOWARDS ME.

VEGETA SLAMMED HARD INTO MY CHEST. MY WHOLE BODY BEGAN TO VIBRATE WITH CHAOS. AGAIN I HEARD FRED'S VOICE IN MY HEAD, CALLING OUT TO XAVIER. THIS TIME, HE WAS ANSWERED.

"This nightmare is over," I HEARD XAVIER WHISPER. "I demand you release me."

"YOU WEAK FOOL! I AM DOING ALL THIS FOR YOU! IT IS THE VENGENCE THAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS! THAT YOU ARE TOO SPINELESS TO TAKE FOR YOURSELF!"

"You're done hear!" I HEARD GAIA SHOUT FROM INSIDE MY HEAD.

"Game over!" FRED JOINED IN.

I COULD FEEL THEM ATTACKING PSIONICALLY MY VERY CONSCIOUSNESS. MY GRIP ON XAVIER'S FORM WAS WEAKENING. AFTER MY BATTLES, I DID NOT HAVE MUCH LEFT WITH WHICH TO FIGHT.

THEY STRUGGLED HARD, COMBINING THEIR ENERGIES TO DISCONNECT ME. THEIR ALLIES STOOD ARRAYED BEFORE ME IN A LINE, AWAITING THE OUTCOME. I COULD SEE WHICH WAY THIS FIGHT WAS GOING.

"FINE. IF YOU CANNOT ACCEPT THE GIFTS I GIVE YOU, THEN SO BE IT."

AND WITH THAT I DETACHED MY PSYCHE FROM XAVIER AND SLIPPED INTO THE ASTRAL PLANE.

13 Comments:

Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Proffessor! You're back. I love you! Don't ever go evil again, okay? You're a real sissy bad guy.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I think that was Fred exerting his positive influence on Onslaught, Erifia. And it's good to be back.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That poor poochie. Is the doggie all right?

Oh, and it's good to have you back, too.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I can't imagine where Onslaught got the idea to kick that dog. Clearly that came from a truly evil mind.

9:48 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Hmm, well I guess it'll be Mets games for you if you ever want to suffer through a baseball game.

Happy to see you're back. I certainly hope some one gives you a ride home after all of this.

9:49 PM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...

We are the Wyld Stallions, and we're here to kick your butt!

9:51 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Oh man. My arm...My left arm.

9:52 PM  
Blogger Darth Nepharia said...

(Glorious music erupts:) HALLELUJAH!

9:58 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

You know it took a lot out of Fred. He did quote Pvt. Hudson

12:44 AM  
Blogger Iceman said...

And Hudson's quoting really old Snl Skit's Kinda

2:08 AM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

Charles..... sighs...

2:23 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Onslaught was evil with that poor dog; good to see the Prof around again.

2:54 PM  
Blogger Black Widow said...

okay glad your back avier but looks like we have a battle to attend to

9:53 PM  

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