Monday, August 21, 2006

I was glad to see that Jon's Danger Sled was in compliance with the access rules of the Americans With Disabilities Act. The eminently annoying Professor S'Magmier had succeeded in getting on my nerves and I wanted to put as much distance between him and myself as possible. Unfortunately on a personal cruiser like the Sled, that wasn't going to be much. This was going to be a long trip.

You would think that after dealing with as much prejudice against mutants as I have over the years, I would be more inured to the kind of blatant speciesism that S'Magmier displayed, but of course I'm not. This condescending jackass was almost as irritating as Jon's would be sidekick, Mojo the Monkeyboy.

Jon slid into the pilot's seat next to me in the cockpit. "I must say," I started to say, "when I first heard you mention that Mojo was here I felt a bit of panic."

"Oh he's harmless, Professor. He may seem psycho but he's relatively harmless."


"It's not that. The X-Men have fought a deranged lunatic from an alternate dimension who is also named Mojo. In fact, his whole plane of existence is known as the Mojoverse. Very creepy guy."

"Hmm, speaking of creeps, looks like Smeggy is almost done packing."

Jon had just finished going through his pre-flight checklist when S'Magmier joined us in the cockpit. "Now if you two are finished picking mites out of each other's body hair, I am ready to go," he announced.

Jon and I looked at each other for a moment and then Jon showed him the door. Or the exit hatch or whatever it's called. I was largely in agreement with Jon's decision to give Smeggy the boot, but I was a bit concerned as Queen Galacta had thought he would necessary for this mission. He was so obnoxious though that I was really glad to see him go.

We could hear Smeggy outside banging on the hull. Though we couldn't hear his words, I could hear his thoughts. Unfortunately. His tirade against backwater uncivilized human scum was laced with unprintabexpletivesves. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.

Turning to Jon with a rather evil smile on my face, I said, "There is something I've always wanted to try."

"Oh, what's that?"

"A little trick Master Yoda taught me."

I reached out with my mind towards Smeggy. Though my psionic mutant powers are predominantly telepathic, I can exert some limited telekenetic effect when I really concentrate. Grabbing onto the back of his underwear, I yanked upwards with all of my mental might. Smeggy's blood curdling scream we could both hear through the hull.

"A psionic wedgie," I said with a wink.


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Ha Ha, S'meggie called the two of you "monkeyboys".

11:39 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I figured it was best to just toss him out. My only other option would be to hang him out the hatch while in midflight unitl he appologizes, but I figured that would be a little too mean spirited.

8:58 AM  
Blogger The Hulk said...

I'll be waiting for you when you get back

10:47 AM  
Blogger Pantha said...

tag x 2

1:16 PM  
Blogger captain koma said...

Hey Chuck corbiscide wants me to tell ya that chapter 3 of the overdue story is up.

He really want you to read it.

And maybe be kind enough to leave a comment.


11:16 PM  

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