Monday, August 28, 2006

"Blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah! Blah!"

That was Cyclops talking. He drones on like a blithering idiot. Why on Earth Xavier ever chose him as the leader of the X-Men I will never figure out. Under his watch the school was completely destroyed. The grounds are in ruin. Cities all over the planet are burning in destruction. The forces of Gaia have leveled unspeakable damage and all Cyclops can do is babble on like the incompetent he is.

The biggest disgrace is that the X-Men are having their big battle plan meeting in the conference room at the Motel 6. I should go back to Cairo.

"Hey everybody!" Elixir shouted with far too much enthusiasm as he burst into the room. "They just interrupted Jane and the Dragon to announce that Gaia is in Washington! She's like totally destroying the place. "

All eyes turned to Cyclops. He was frozen in panic.

"Well let's go get her!" Iceman shouted. "We can either talk her down or take her out!"

Cyclops looked around nervously. "Has anybody seen Magdalena? I mean she's kind of in charge."

"Yeah, I think she's with Henchman," Wolverine chuckled. Nightcrawler and Colossus started snickering. Simpletons.

"Oh great," Cyclops cried in despair. "What are we suppose to do now?"

Then he turned towards me and fell to his knees. He raised his arms high in the air in praise. "Oh mighty goddess Storm, please give me guidance!"

At least that's what he should have said. Worm.

I turned to Elixir. "Who interrupted the show?"

"SHIELD! They're sending a heli-carrier to pick us up!"

"Good. Then we go to confront her," I said.

Within moments we were on board the carrier headed for Washington. The ship was tracing Gaia's unique energy signal. Fred the Fox, Gaia's annoying pet rat was bouncing around as if he had eaten too much sugar.

"Damn," said Warbird. "The signal has changed. She's in Manhattan!"

The carrier turned us around and soon we were flying through the darkened skies of Manhattan. There before us was Gaia and a large contingent of her forces.

"Alright people, stay together!" that buffoon Cyclops called out. "If we do this by the book, we should all come out of it ok!"

11 Comments:

Blogger Fred the Fox said...

"pet rat"

Thanks...thanks a lot...

11:31 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Storm, you should bring in your boyfriend. He's totally got tons of vibranium!

11:36 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

well Cyclops was wrong about that

4:01 AM  
Blogger Storm said...

That's because he was an idiot. At lease the X-Men won't have to suffer him any more.

5:43 AM  
Blogger captain koma said...

"If we stick together we'll come out of this ok"

Hmmmmm.

What was you did Cyke.

Gee I saw it live on CNN. I believe you went off on your own and died.

Great leadership. NOT

Koma

6:43 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

I have a feeling this is all going to end with time travel de-eviling Gaia.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Pantha said...

hmm storm has a GF not a BF

1:09 PM  
Blogger Storm said...

Black Panther and I have an on-again off-again thing. He's very one note though. It's always "the secrets of Wakanda must be protected at all costs." Everyone knows the secrets of Wakanda. You have a lot of Vibranium. We got it.

Very exasperating.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Who's going to rebuild the school, Storm? Anybody good with cement and bricks?

3:35 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Myabe mutants are like jedi and there is a who bunch of them that don't make Jedi/Xmen who end up doing menial jobs. The jedi make all the kids who aren't good enough to become jedi go work for the agricorps helping grown plants on distant planets. Smart thinking on the Jedi's part; why waste all that early childhood training by letting them live a free life when you can make them live on planet Iowa growing beets.

Maybe there is the x-men trade/tech school equivilent which has mutants to rebuild the manor.

9:13 PM  
Blogger Kon-El said...

In other words Pantha she's cheating on ya

11:41 PM  

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