Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I had the shuttle craft pilot halt his descent. Reaching out with my mind I could feel the thousands of battle armored warriors surrounding me. Their minds were strange, slightly different from ours and yet still within my ability to control. They were also fairly simplistic. I reached into them and put them to sleep, dozens at a time. It took a bit but soon they were all still.

The craft landed and Arthur and I exited. Everyone who was able gathered around the ship and welcomed me back from Last Gladiator Standing. Maggie wrapped her arms around me and give me a large, very welcome kiss. Scott interrupted with an awkward cough.

"I'm, uh, sorry you lost Professor but I'm really glad you're back."

I looked around at the smoldering ruins of my school. Nothing of the above ground levels was standing. Hank bounced over.

"Well, the good news is that the sub-structure is intact. The Danger Room, the X-Jet and hanger, the labs, the War Room . ."

"Fine," I interrupted, slightly annoyed that my plan to spend a long peaceful night in my own soft bed had been confounded. "Have everyone who is able meet me in the War Room in 15 minutes. I learned something making contact with the invaders and I need to check Cerebro."

Once I had finished, I headed for the War Room. Fortunately it was still intact. When I arrived, Vegeta and Henchman were in the middle of a pissing contest. It looked like they were about to come to blows.

"It's Gaia!" Vegeta yelled. "She's behind this!"

Storm threw a lightening bolt at him. That caused quite a commotion amoung the assembled heroes. Magdalena quickly brought the tumult to a halt.

"He's right," she said. "Gaia has been corrupted. I tried to stop it but I couldn't." I put my arm around her shoulders.

"I found out some very important things when I had mental contact with the invaders," I told everyone. "First and most important-"

Suddenly the theme song from Sex in the City filled the room. I quickly realized it was my cel phone which was working again now that I was back in satellite range.

Damn, it was a meme. From Lusty Tart. What horrible timing.

"Excuse me for just a moment," I told the crowd, awaiting my revelation. I scrolled down the text.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of it and the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag three people

Well, all my books were destroyed in the battle. I saw a copy of Star Magazine lying on the command console. Picking it up and was frustrated to find that it only went to page 94. Damn. I guess I'll just have to use page 12 instead. It's about Jim Carry's impending marriage to Jenny McCarthy. Ok, 5th sentence.

"'Jim wants their relationship to be as private as possible, so it won't blow up in their faces. - that's why it took months for them to emerge in public,' says McCarthy's friend. That's also why, sources say, their wedding will be small and intimate. 'Jim insists they do it lowkey,' says the source. 'Jenny is a social butterfly, and her instincts is to celebrate with the world. But since her other relationships haven't worked out, she's willing to follow Jim's lead.'"

Three other people? Henchman, Vegeta and Warbird. That should keep them out of trouble.

The assembled heroes looked around at each other in apparent confusion.

"Now then," I resumed in my best addressing a crowd voice, "Maggie and Vegeta are correct. When I telepathically touched the minds of the invaders I found out that they are in fact aliens from Gaia's homeworld. She has ordered them to destroy all sentient life on Earth. Their campaign is to start in four cities - New York, Washington, Ontario and London."

A buzz broke out through the crowd. "We have already defeated the battalion assigned to New York. Our primary goal now is to defend Washington. After Magneto's recent attack on the capital, we have to show them that we care. We have to prevent that city from being destroyed."

"Well there is one way to stop that," Vegeta announced. Everyone turned to look at him. "We cut the beast off at the head."

Cyclops stepped forward. "You're not suggesting-"

"Yes I am," the Sayian continued. "The way to stop this is to kill Gaia."

Pandamonium broke out. Several X-Men started to leap to attack Vegeta.

"Stop it!" I yelled. "No one is killing Gaia. She may well have been possessed by an evil force. Perhaps it's the Shadow King. They battled recently on the Astral Plane. Besides, I scanned for her with Cerebro and I can tell you that she is not on the Earth. We have to fight her alien armies. To do this we will split into two forces. Maggie, you will lead one group with our main group to defend Washington.

Cyclops, I want you to take Vegeta and Wolverine. You will rendezvous with Alpha Flight to defend Ontario. I will coordinate our efforts from here and try to contact Emma Frost. She should be in England with the Cuckoo Sisters. Her psionic powers should be most effective against the aliens. Now go!"

5 Comments:

Blogger L>T said...

professor; XoXoXo
Thanks for taking time out from your busy schedule of saving the world for little ole me.
You know how to make a woman feel special, that's for sure.
We all need a super hero once in a while. ;]
Oh! M'GOD! Jim Carry & Jenny McCarthy...who would of thunk it?

9:55 PM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Gaia, I'm sorry to say I agree with Vegeta. The cost of one life for millions of lives. I would die to save an entire world.

10:05 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I agree with Erifa, I would kill her to save a world also ... uhh yeah Erifia, I, uhh, didn't mean you persay. just as an example *cough cough* whew is it getting warm in here ...

2:09 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy? Are they really getting married? Will the media now start referring to them as "Jimenny?"

6:25 AM  
Blogger KODIAK THE UNCANNY said...

lOL Sumthin tells me Jimenny is gonna stick.


You Jim carry is a mutant, and so is Jenny her ability is to make mutants jaws drop!!!!

Oh, It works on humans too!!1

6:49 PM  

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