My eyes opened and my nostrils filled with the heavenly scent of cool night passion. As I looked around my bedroom, I felt a pang of regret that Vampirella was not waking up beside me. We had spent an incredible night together two days ago and I find that I can't get her out of my mind. I don't know how much of a future two people like us can have together, but I think I might like to find out.

With a resigned sigh, I got out of bed and got ready to greet the day. One of the first things I did, as usual, was check my inbox to see if there were any crises brewing. I knew of course that I would have to get on this Sentinel/Brood thing before they attacked again, but when I saw that Oprah had returned, my blood went cold.

As you may recall, Oprah is one of the most powerful mutants on the planet - and pure evil. She had been blasted to some distant part of the galaxy during that whole Apocalypse thing, but somehow she had managed to make it back. And now she was after David Chappelle.

You may not know this, but Chappelle is also a mutant. He has the amazing power to make people laugh. Certain other people find this threatening and a coalition of powerful media folks has assembled to try and stop him. Oprah is the leader of this consortium and it looks like she might be winning him over to the dark side. You can read about it here at The Chappelle Theory.

The e-mail contained video clip highlights from Chappelle's recent appearance on Oprah's show. Some how that she-beast succubus got him to admit that his comedy was harmful. Her power to twist people's minds is frightening. Clearly she must be stopped.