Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Well I certainly do have some interesting news for you, my friends. This past weekend, as you may know, I went on an undercover mission. The recent re-appearance of the mysterious sentinel and Brood alliance has of course caused tremendous alarm in everyone. You may remember that a few months ago, Jon, the Intergalactic Gladiator traveled with the X-Men to confront the hybrid Queen/sentinel on an asteroid far out in our solar system. Their amazing success seemed to spell the end of the Brood assault on the Earth. Apparently they had only succeeded in pushing back whatever sinister plans were afoot. And I do mean "sinister".

During the Amazing Mutant Race 2, I overheard Emma Frost and Selene discussing the Hellfire Club's involvement in this strange alliance. That group is well known for their maniacal machinations. The goal of my mission was to determine whether they were behind the sentinel/Brood attacks, of merely some ancillary instrument of another's plan.

Jean Grey, who briefly adopted her Black Queen persona again a few weeks ago, spent a weekend at the Hellfire Club. She told me that she overhead members of the Club planning to infilitrate a large convention in New York City. Acting on this information, I decided to infilitrate the convention too. That's where I was this weekend. At the 2006 Toy Fair in New York.

Unforunately the Inner Circle of the Club has managed to get ahold of Magneto's telepathy blocker headgear, so I can't simply pull the desired information from their minds. I had to result to subtly. Normally I send in X-Men to do this kind of thing, but with the crowds and all the media attention on the event, I really didn't want anyone making a scene. Missions always seem to end in large-scale climactic battles whenever the X-Men are involved. Using my mental powers, though unable to directly manipulate the minds of the Inner Circle, I could control the people around them. That does make things rather easy.

Rather than bore you with all the ho-hum details of my espionage, I will simply tell you about the information I uncovered. The Hellfire Club have been inserting microchips into special limited release action figures of some of the most important members of the blogosphere. Through this, they knew that these highly valuable collectibles would wind-up in the hands of the of the people they represent, either through friends or fans giving novelty items or through agents or managers showing their clients how much they do for them. Once the figures were in the hands of the actual people, the microchips would then activate, killing those people in horrible firey explosions. The result is two-fold: the blog hero network would be crippled, the information pipeline shut down at important condtuits and, far more importantly, dynamic hefenders who could rise up to stop their evil plans would be eliminated.

I managed to head-off most of the tainted figures. Unfortunately I missed two. If you see them, handle with extreme care!


9 Comments:

Blogger Vegeta said...

Great i'm a target again

12:33 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I noticed you were green there. Was that from your "bad guy" days?

6:01 AM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

glad there are no Vampi dolls but I am afraid I may have a yoda but its different than that

6:41 AM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

No. I was never green unless their plan involves Gamma bombs. Or they are letting color blind people design action figures these days.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I suspect some sinister plot is afoot. The packaging said "as seen in episode 271." Very suspicious.

And Vampi, I believe they save your figures for the "Toy Fair After Dark" held later this year. I think that's going to be in Vegas.

8:07 AM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

hmmm are you asking me out wink wink

1:42 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

These look very deadly.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

There weren't any tainted My Little Pony dolls were there? 'Cuz I, uh, know someone who has a bunch of them.

8:53 PM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...

Is that second toy the baby from the show Dinosaurs?

8:54 PM  

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