Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Sigh. I had just grabbed the latest issue of Cosmo and was on my way to the bathroom when the front doorbell at the school rang.

"Is somebody going to get that?!" I shouted.

The bell rang again.

"Hey! Isn't anybody going to get the door?!"

The bell rang a third time. Great.

I hurried down stairs and opened the door. Standing there was some punk kid, a really, really old lady and a totally hottie. I would have put the moves on her but I was pissed about interupted during the middle of an important mission.

"Who are you?" I shouted in my most authoritative voice.

"I'm Peter Park-" the young punk started to say before the old bag cut him off.

"I'm May Parker, this is my nephew, Peter, and his wife, Mary Jane."

I recognized the name almost immediately. Spider-Man. We've tangled with him a few times in the past. He seems like a good kid but I keep hearing he's really a criminal. I was about to send him packing when Storm came down and gave them the keys to the house. Damn that woman always usurping my authority. Someday . . bang zoom to the moon!

Apparently somebody had agreed to let these three humans stay at the mansion for awhile. I think they're on the run from the law. I decided I'd better keep my eye on Spider-Man. I offered him a tour of the place.

"I thought you were still on the Astral Plane?" he prompted as I showed him around.

"Oh, uh, yeah. We got back."

"What happened?" he persisted.

"Well, we went to help Professor X and Gaia in their battle on the Astral Plane. Then the Martian Manhunter got taken over by the Shadow King. Then he took over Rogue, too."

"What happened next?"

"Um . . well . . you see . . I, uh, got knocked out at that point."

"By who?" Spider-Man asked.

"Wolverine," I mumbled.

"But isn't he on your team?"

"He's on every team, I think. Anyway, I heard that Super-Man showed up after that."

"Super-Man?!"

"Yeah, he's this guy from a Different Continuum. He-"

"I know who he is. We fought once. I totally kicked his butt."

I looked at Spider-Man skeptically. I don't think he could tell because of my large visor. "Anyway, Super-Man tried to stop Rogue but she had already absorbed power from Kodiak and Colossus so the Shadow King was able to grab him too. Rogue started to drain him. I think she absorbed Warbird's power, too."

"Oh man! She must have been invincible! What happened then?"

"Apparently that Manhunter guy has some psionic powers. While the Shadow King was playing psychic pinball, bouncing around between various people, the Martian attacked him mentally. He was somehow able to force the Shadow King out from whoever's body he was in."

"Where did he go?"

"I'm not really sure. Maybe he's consciousness got dissipated forever."

"Yeah right," Spider-Man said sarcastically.

"Anyway, that's the tour," I told him. "Now I have some very pressing business I've been putting off a little too long. I've got to run."

And with that, I headed up stairs at a trot.

10 Comments:

Blogger J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...

You really dramaticized my lamo ending. I prefer forcing him out mentally over injecting myself as a needle into him. And did I leave in the stuff about putting him in a rock and throwing him into the ocean? Or was that in the even worse rough draft...?

7:45 PM  
Blogger Cyclops said...

Well, I was unconscious for all that. I was just trying to fill in the pieces from what I heard.

8:52 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

HA HA you had to Trot up stairs ... wait I don't get it

11:28 PM  
Blogger Wolverine said...

Lemme guess the mission ya had ta accomplish . hmmm waxin' yer legs? hidin' the pink dress? tell us scott Hehehehehehehehe

12:55 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

He had the trots upstairs?

10:54 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'd stay away from Mary Jane, Scott, otherwise Spider-Man might have you in his web. Even Aunt May might beat you up.

1:38 PM  
Blogger KODIAK THE UNCANNY said...

Jean-luc: I'd advise Cyclops to stay away from Aunt May also, I woulnt put it past him to go after her first, she happened to actually be wearin a short skirt, and you know how cyke-out is.

Spidy: If I remember correctly ol' kid Krypton-man Knocked you out with air from a punch he threw, but realized it could kill you so he pulled it at the last second. That was great. I mean I'm a big spidy fan and all, but you did get knocked out with air!

3:26 PM  
Blogger Spider-Man said...

I was messing with him Kodiak...

3:57 PM  
Blogger Warbird said...

Stood up? I know you didnt just stand me up for a cosmo

4:57 PM  
Blogger Gentleman-hobbs said...

Hi,
Long time no read. Fertility especially in a mind is a wounderful thing, you are clearly blessed.

9:01 AM  

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