Sunday, October 02, 2005

So much for my hopes of having a little peace in the school now that Magneto is safely on his way back to prison and Nightcrawler's sexually harassing behavior is (hopefully) going to be cured by Gaia and Emma. As I'm sure you have all heard on the cable news channels by now, the Reverend Jesse Jackson has launched a campaign against the X-Men, the Xavier School for Gifted Students and me.

Apparently Storm contacted the Reverend Jackson following the recent tensions over the leadership of the X-Men. She has this ridiculous idea that Scott and perhaps myself are involved in some sort of racist conspiracy to suppress her just because she's black. Preposterous. If I had known the extent to which she would go in contacting Jesse Jackson, I would have altered her memory, or perhaps have the Scarlet Witch or Gaia try and alter her personality. Now the news is all over the country. It's simply too late.

Jackson is calling for a boycott against the X-Men. He doesn't want us involved in any kind of emergencies. He says all law enforcement agencies needing super-hero assistance should call the Avengers, the Fantastic Four or the Defenders. This could be devastating to my plans. If we don't do heroic deeds, how are we going to win public sympathy for mutants? How on earth can I resolve this crisis?

Oh no! Now Kayne West is on Fox News saying "Professor Xavier doesn't care about black people!" And the Reverend Al Sharpton is standing next to him nodding! Uggh. I've got to go and figure out what I'm going to do.


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Some people are never grateful that you might have just saved the world.

3:21 PM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

Black Power! You can't keep the black man down.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I wouldn't even try! You'd think after liberating the nuclear missile base from the evil mutants, they would give us a break. Once that Jesse Jackson sinks his teeth into something, he doesn't let go.

7:03 PM  

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