Saturday, September 24, 2005

Nightcrawler is still up to his old tricks, I'm sorry to say. I had hoped that spending a couple of weeks in the Westchester police station for harassing one of my young students, Kitty Pryde. She walked into her room to find a naked Nightcrawler wearing a pair of her panties on his head. She immediately called the police who took Kurt away. Hoping he had learned his lesson, I freed him yesterday.

Almost immediately upon returning, Kurt resumed his perverted antics. Jubilee, Wolfsbane and Shadowcat were all in the steam room following an intensive aerobic Yoga class when Nightcrawler teleported into the small, very hot room. The fool landed right on the red hot stones heating the air. He, of course, screamed in pain. Landing hard on the floor he curled up into a howling ball. The girls jumped on him and began wailing away.

Once Nightcrawler's feet had been bandaged and iced and his broken ribs set, he was wheeled to his room for convalescence. The three girls came to my office.

"Professor, that blue skinned freak has to go!" Shadowcat yelled.

"Yeah," agreed Jubilee. "I'm sick of his constant leering and groping!"

"If he doesn't go, we're going to have to take drastic action!" threatened Wolfsbane.

A gnawing sense of unease grew within me as I thought about the size of the judgment the girls could win against the school for my not taking appropriate action against Nightcrawler's inappropriate behavior. I tried to defuse their anger. "Now girls, I completely understand your concerns, but you have to admit, he hasn't actually caused any harm."

"How can you say that, you chauvinist pig!" Shadowcat yelled. "If you are going to defend that pervert than you're no better than he is!"

"Now, Kitty, you know I'm not like . ."

"This is your school so it's your liability, I mean, responsibility," Jubilee said. Aw oh. That slip set off alarm bells. "You have to do something about him!"

"Unless you want me to call the police again?" asked Kitty.

"No, of course not," I answered. "I would . ."

"Can't you alter his mind?" Kitty asked.

"Now Kitty, you know I could never do such a thing," I answered. "Having powers like mine create a serious moral responsibility. I could never violate someone's rights by using my powers to alter their minds. I am ashamed of you for even asking such a thing. Now, I will deal with Kurt but I want you all to think long and hard about the moral code that Homo Superiors have to use their powers for the benefit of all people and not for their own selfless petty needs."

Whew. To my relief the girls felt sufficiently chastised and sulked out of my office. I am going to have to do something about Kurt, though. The last thing I need is another trip to the courts. Judge Judy was enough to last me for a lifetime.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Emma Frost said...

Dear me, Charles. I wouldn't have put up with Mr. Wagner this long. You have the patience of a saint. If you would still like some mind alteration, send him in my direction in a few weeks.

And I've decided to take a little vaction to England. Gaia is being a nuisance and I do not wish to listen to her incessant babble, especially since it involves my personality. And I'm regretting that mention of "rather staying with Deadpool". So I'll speak with you once I have landed.

-Emma

10:54 PM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

Emma my love! I shall meet you England after I'm done with wolverine. Just don't tell Bea. On to update 3: Okay I've got him to drink beer now, after I convinced him its not the devil's drink. But I wouldn't give him alchol again. He reverted back while drunk to his old self.

After he woke up he started watching Happy Days again.

11:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It vasn't zat bad now, vuz it? I did not mean to scare ze girls, I just vanted to see if ze vanted to see ze sex. Oh vell.

Mein Miz Frost... do you like ze sex?

1:38 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I hope you enjoy your stay in England, Emma. We'll see if Gaia can proceed with her "alterations" of the Beast without you. I have a plan for Kurt that I'm going to try today. If it doesn't work I may ask you to give him a try when you get back.

And Deadpool, I can see making a man out of Wolverine will be a long slow process. I certainly thank you for your help. I don't know if your "working" any time soon, but perhaps taking him on an assignment might get his blood going.

And Kurt, I will deal with you later.

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Gaia said...

THATS IT! I DONT REGRET ANYTHING I SAID! YOU ARE A B**** EMMA!

Prf., Jean and I are starting the mind alteration now.It's nice to have somone to work with who knows how to C-OPERATE! Anyway, Beast will not care about his wheight after we're done (or so Jean tells me). I'm not even sure why he's insecure about his weight, it's all muscle anyway.UNLESS OF COURSE SOMEONE IMPLANTED THE HORRIBLE IMAGE OF HIM BEING FAT IN HIS MIND!!!! Sorry, sorry....*sigh*. Maybe I need another vacation. On second though, I think I'm needed here and Synch seems pretty depressed.I'll tell you how Hank turned out later this evening.

P.S. I wouldn't let Emma anywhere near Kurt. Mind alteration takes SKILL!

10:52 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Now ladies, there's no need to make this personal. The underlying goal of this school is promote living in harmony with one another. I'm glad to hear that the prospects for Beast are looking good. Please let me know how he turns out.

11:19 AM  

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