Saturday, October 01, 2005

My X-Men were ultimately successful yesterday in stopping Magneto and his Brotherhood of Mutants in their nefarious plan to blackmail the world. The Creech Air Force base in Indian Springs, Nevada and its stock pile of 100 nuclear missiles are safely back in the hands of the US military. Despite their eventual victory, the operation did not go as smoothly as it could have. I called the leaders of the two teams, Cyclops and Storm, into my office to discuss ways to improve team performance. Scott arrived first.

"Professor, you have got to talk to Ororo," he said with his usual whinny tone. "My team arrived to assist her with the assault on the command center and she sent us away! She's incompetent!"

"How dare you?!" Storm answered, sweeping into the room with a strong gust of wind. "It was your deviousness that nearly derailed our entire operation!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Scott yelled. "It was my team that got you out of the jet you were trapped in!"

"It was your friend, Warren Worthington the Third, who intentionally trapped us in the plane just to make you look good!" she accused.

"What?! That's crazy!" he shot back.

"Hardly! You and he were on the original X-Men team, back when membership was, shall we say exclusive. Everyone knows how you people stick together. It's all part of the white repressive conspiracy to keep the proud black nation down!"

For once, Cyclops was left thankfully speechless. I was also rather stunned, but not to the point of muteness.

"Now Storm, I can assure you that there is no consp-"

"Oh please, Professor!" she spat. "How could I possibly expect someone of your racial background to understand the truth. You sit here in your ivory tower, naive in your assumptions about the truth behind the white man's motivations."

"Come now Storm. I can read minds. I would know if Scott and Warren-"

"You hear what you want to hear. I will not allow the white man or their puppets to enslave me. From now on, I am the sole leader of the X-Men. Your boy Scott will obey my commands."

"Now wait just a damn minute!" Scott yelled. His face had turned a dreadful shade of red. I could see that he was about to let fly with an emotional outburst, which would of course do nothing to resolve this situation.

"Scott, Ororo does have one point," I told him. "One the issues I wanted to address was ensuring future efficiency on the battlefield by resolving the question of team leader. From now on, Storm will be the sole leader of the X-Men. She may designate second unit leaders but she is the ultimate authority in the field."

I could see Scott was about to explode. He left me no choice. Using my mental powers, I again rearranged his mind, erasing the memories of his desire to be leader and his dissatisfaction with Ororo as his commander. As his face returned to its normal pale color, a broad grin broke out on Storm's face.

"Then all is as it should be, Professor," she said. And with a flip of her cape she turned and left.

Well, there is peace in the house now. Of a kind anyway. Hopefully this issue of team leadership will now be laid to rest and the team can focus on its real work.


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

It seems like Storm & Cyclops may need to enhance their leadership skills a little.

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Gaia said...

Nooooo,ya think so?

Alright, Emma, I'm ready whenever you are. And remember, have a vivid picture of how you want kurt to be in your mind, it's you who decides how Kurt will turn out (so if anything goes wrong it's your fault! haha! (joking) )

7:26 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Perhaps I should find some kind of professional counseling for Storm and Cyclops. Dr. Phil didn't do anything for me, but maybe he'll work for them. I'll see if I can find the producer's phone number.

And Gaia, Kurt is now back on his feet. He still has a black eye but what with his blue skin you can't really tell.

8:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just send Storm and Cyclops to a deserted island for a little while. Maybe they will learn to get along.

12:04 PM  

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