Friday, September 30, 2005

Well I received the field report from Storm telepathically about how her assault on the Brotherhood of Mutant's held command center at the Creech Air Force base in Indian Springs, Nevada went today. If you haven't heard about it by now, then you aren't watching enough CNN.

Storm's team, consisting of Jean, Colossus, Angel, Havoc and Rogue had been stuck inside their X-Jet while Cyclop's team of X-Men managed to secure the nuclear missile silos themselves. It seems that Angel's wing feathers got caught in the exit hatch of the plane and no one could get him free. The emergency exit had unfortunately been declared a bio-hazard zone following an unpleasant incident a few weeks prior involving the Beast and a dozen extra-spicy Grande Quesadeas. Every time someone tried to pull Angel free he would howl like a little girl.

After Cyclop's team had completed their task, they hurried to Storm's plane to see if they could assist in the primary assault. Upon finding the group still trapped, Ice Man created a thin slippery coat of ice inside the hatch and managed to slowly push Angel's wing out from the inside. Once free, the two teams assembled to launch a joint assault. Storm quickly put a stop to that.

"Stop trying to oppress me, you white devil!" she yelled at Cyclops.

"What are you talking about?" he whined. "It only makes sense to use both-"

"Enough of your repression! I will not let you enslave me!" she screamed, her voice full of righteous indignation.

"Whatever!" Scott cried, throwing his arms up in defeat. He took his team back to their plane to play cards until the battle was resolved. Havoc, confused about which team he was on, went with Cyclops.

Finally ready to move, Storm whipped up some powerful localized wind and took to the air. Jean, Angel and Rogue joined her. Rogue carried Gambit on her back as Jean lifted Colossus telekinetically. They approached the roof of the base. Gambit chose that moment to seize the opportunity and squeeze Rogue's right buttock. She yelped and in a huff threw him to the ground from 300 feet in the air.

Gambit screamed in fear the whole way down. Just before he was about to splatter into goo on the roof, his body came to an abrupt stop, hovering a few feet above the concrete.

"Jean?" he asked, in his faux-French accent.

"Wrong as usual, cutie," came the silky smooth voice of the Scarlet Witch. Standing in the roof doorway, her hand gestured in a magic incantation, keeping Remy airborne. Storm landed next to her.

"Wanda, this assault is crazy," Storm said. "What does your father want this time?"

"Oh what does he always want, Ororo? Acceptance, respec and power."

"What does he hope to accomplish by seizing 100 nuclear missiles?" Jean asked, alighting next to the others.

"His demand is simple. He wants the Homo Sapiens of the world to acknowledge that mutants are great and that he should be in charge of the planet," Wanda answered.

"But that's silly! They aren't ever going to do that."

"Well, in that case he does have a fall-back demand."

"What's that?" asked Storm.

"Bring back Seinfeld. TV has been going downhill ever since that show left the air."

"I don't think they can do that either. The cast has moved on, you know?" said Rogue.

"In that case, he's going to launch all the missiles."

"You know we have to stop him," said Storm.

"Maybe it's time for Quicksilver and I to change sides again," Wanda said with a smile.

"I don't think we could trust you in the heat of battle," answered Storm.

"Well then, we'll just head back to the Savage Land. Good luck you guys," Wanda said as she levitated herself magically up and away from the base. Quicksilver, hidden a few steps inside the doorway, sprinted out across the roof and down the side of the building. The two were quickly gone from sight.

Reaching out with her mind, Jean could feel that Magneto and the few mutants he had left were just below the roof in the central command center. Eric's hand hovered over the big red launch button. Storm had Gambit, now back on his feet, energize a portion of the roof until it exploded in a huge fireball. Then Storm caused several lightening bolts to crash into the control center, frying all the computer systems, rendering the launch system useless.

Colossus jumped down into the room but Magneto easily sent him flying back through the hole. I can't tell you how many times Colossus has charged at Magneto, only to be thrown aside like a rag doll each and every time. You think that boy would learn. Gambit started to toss energized playing cards at Magneto but Toad leapt up out of the hole and landed right on top of him. Gambit was knocked back against the concrete. Rogue swept down into the command center only to find Cyclops standing there, his visor already trained on Magneto.

"I've got him," said Cyclops. "You go take care of Master Mind." Cyclops pointed back up through the hole in the roof. Standing on the edge was Master Mind. Rogue, slightly confused by Scott's presence, charged Master Mind and sent him flying. The scream that he let out sounded suspiciously like Jean's.

"Oh, oh," said Rogue. She looked back down and saw Mystique and Master Mind standing next to Magneto, laughing. Steel girders ripped out of the wall and wrapped around her. They started squeezing the life out of her.

At that instant a yellow cat with black spots belonging to a sergeant stationed at the ba
se, Tana Lee Alves, jumped out from behind a desk and sank her claws into Magneto's shoulder. Poor Eric dropped to his knees, howling in pain. Momentarily distracted, Storm was able to call down more lightening and take out Mystique and Master Mind. Toad, seeing the tide had turned, leapt away to safety.

The base, though heavily damaged, was now free. Seeing the all clear sign, the military moved in to secure the grounds and take Magneto and the others into custody. The X-Men then got in their jets and headed back to the school. Hopefully their success will encourage them to put aside some of their personal problems.


Anonymous Emma Frost said...

Oh dear. More spammers. And they have even bookmarked you, Charles. What a pity. Now that I have returned, I can use Cerebra to track them down and make certain they spend the rest of their lives under the impression they are roaches.

Oh yes I have returned finally, though I have barricated myself in my room for the time being. I have yet another hangover due to all the martinis I drank on the way home. So, if you want, I shall help Gaia with Kurt tomorrow. For now I must rest. So unless you want Kurt believing he's a bottle of champagne, do not disturb, dears.


9:27 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Spammers are a real nuisance. Now if Magneto had been trying to nuke them off the planet, then I wouldn't have sent the X-Men to stop him. Probably not, anyway. As it is, I have managed to erase them from existence, for now.

Rest well Emma. I look forward to finding out how the experiment with Kurt goes. It's good to have you back.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Just another day at the office, Professor.

Why don't you turn on the word verification system? That will defeat the spammers faster than any amount of X Men will do.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two things:

One: Tana Lee Alves' leopard cat is a rare feline beauty -- can a fan get/buy a 8 1/2 x 11 image of it suitable for framing? Any way to give the cat a re-occuring role in the ongoing narrative?

Two: Prof. Xavier has nailed what all mutant fathers want: acceptance, respect, power.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

That is an excellent suggestion, Jean-Luc. Hopefully it won't be too much of an inconvenience for my friends.

8:29 PM  

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