Wednesday, September 21, 2005

With Wolverine gone to stay with Deadpool for some macho bootcamp, I had thought I might be able to get some work done today. Silly me.

Cyclops came barging into my office while I was in the middle of using my awesome mental powers to manipulate the minds of the local town board here in Westchester to lower the property taxes for the school.

"Professor!" he whined.

"What is it now, Scott?" I asked, not bothering to hide the exasperation in my voice.

"Jean is doing it again!"

"Doing what again?"

"I just saw her on CNN. She was in New York with Spider-Man!"

"Spider-Man? What on earth for?" I asked.

"I don't know. They were having some kind of Team-Up or something. They were battling Avalanche and Doctor Octopus!"

"Well, those two are notorious super-villains. It sounds like Jean was involved in appropriate heroic behavior, setting a fine example of the benefit that Homo Superior can offer society."

"Yeah right. Once the bad guys were beaten Jean and that . . that . . bug . . disappeared! For two hours! What the hell were they doing?!"

"Now Scott, they may just have been celebrating their victory and establishing a . ."

"That's crap! They were fooling around! I know it!"

"Scott, come now. You have no idea . ."

"I can't take it anymore, Professor! Jean treats me like a door mat. She goes off with any guy who comes along. I just can't stand it!"

I tell you what I couldn't stand anymore - Scott's constant whining. He's as much of a wuss as Wolverine has become. Cyclops really needs to develop a backbone. But I'm no therapist and I have no interest in putting in the kind of time he needs to unlock his inner manhood. I used my mental powers to erase his memory of seeing Jean with Spider-Man. I did have one idea that might help him, though.

"Scott, I have an important mission for you."

"Umm, yes Professor?" he said in a dazed voice.

"I want you to lead a team to rescue your fellow X-Men who are being held in the Westchester jail. Can you do that?"

"Of course, Professor. I'll get right on it!"

Hopefully that will keep him out of my hair (ha ha) for awhile and I can finish fixing my tax problems.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prof. I think u should just kill Scott already, and put him out of his and everybody elses misery. Noone likes him, he's just a big baby and not really all that great for anything.
Yours truly,

10:08 PM  
Anonymous Emma Frost said...

Now, now. There will be no Scott killing so long as I need him. I still have some use for him. Charles, if he starts having problems with Jean again, just send him my way. I'll take care of things, dear.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

While Scott is exasperating, I do feel a certain attachment to him since he was one of my first students. Perhaps I also feel a certain responsibility for his pathetic wimpiness, since I've been meddling with his mind since his arrival here. I really have just about had it with him and am going to have to do something. Turning him over to you though Emma may just be crossing a moral line I'm not quite ready to do yet. We'll have to see what happens.

6:36 AM  
Anonymous Scarlet Witch said...

This is sad, do you want me to give Scott a little more manly-ness? It's not a total personality rewrite, so I can do it in the snap of a finger.And about your Wolverine problem, I will certainly be willing to try again if all does noty work well with D.P. . But, if you are willing to do it again, you will need to give me the exact traits you want and don't want Wolverine to have so i cna do it right.

3:59 PM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

Pfft... I'll make him into a man just like I'm making Wolverine. Though, there's still some work to be done with him. He's spending a bit too much time in the bathroom and I can't get him to stop watching daytime soaps.

5:51 PM  
Anonymous Gaia said...

Hey ya'll! I've been having so much fun, I've been all around the world, but now I think I'm about ready to settle down again. I think I might come by the X-Mansion, if thats ok with you Prf. . I'm a little confused about your problem though. You are the most powerful telepath in the world, correct? Then, shouldn't you be able re-write his mind, and make him how you want, without all this spell casting,macho boot camp mumbo-jumbo? Wait, why am I asking, I know you can. SO DO IT! c'mon "Wheels" you can do it and you know you can! Don't make me do it myself. See ya'll real soon!

Your Friend,

8:39 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I appreciate the offer of assistance Wanda and Deadpool, but as you may have read, Scott is going to be unavailable for at least a few days.

And Gaia, I know that Synch has certainly been moping around since you left so suddenly. Having you back at the school should certainly liven things up. As far as my mental powers go, I have certainly developed the ability to remove memories from a mind, but altering personalities is not something I have had much luck with.

9:33 PM  

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