Monday, October 10, 2005

Last night Deadpool tried to "close the deal" with Storm. She had been so grateful by his saving her life during Magneto's prison break that she developed an infatuation with him. After their candlelit dinner, Deadpool suggested they take a relaxing soak in the hot tub. It would ease their muscles after the stress of the mission, he told her. My curiosity piqued, I couldn't help but eavesdrop telepathically.

"Holy Cracker Jacks!" Deadpool exclaimed as Storm walked out into the moonlight, dressed in her shiny white one piece swimsuit.

"Do you like, my savior?" she asked, twirling around so that he could admire the Brazilian cut of her suit.

"Hubba Bubba!!" he shouted enthusiastically. "You are hotter than an I-Pod in a 42nd Street pawn shop!"

Storm smiled appreciatively. As she walked towards the hot tub, she paused to ask, "Wade, why do you still have your mask on?"

Deadpool stood silently for a moment, dressed only in his red Speedos and full face mask. "Well, baby, it's like this. I'm really enjoying hanging out with you and everything and I hope you feel the same about me." Storm smiled and nodded. "As far as my mask goes, well, let me put it this way. Did you ever see Night of the Living Dead?"

"What are you saying?" Storm asked, alarm rising in her voice.

"I guess if I'm going to score tonight, you're going to have to find out sooner or later. Here goes - Tadaa!" he said, as he yanked his mask off. Storm's face fell in a strange mixture of horror and disgust.

"What the hell happened to you!?" she exclaimed.

"It's kind of long story. It involves a Schipperke, a bottle of Jack Daniels and a rusty lawn mower. Just so you know, all my bodily functions work just fine, if you know what I'm saying."

"I . . I'm sorry Wade. I, um, just remembered that I have a, um, special class that I have to, um, prepare. Thanks for saving my life and all. Bye." And with that Storm whipped around and practically ran back into the mansion. Any feelings of gratitude she had were completely dissolved by her revulsion. Storm can be surprisingly shallow.

Poor Deadpool stood there in his Speedo feeling rather blue. He pulled his mask back on and decided to go back into the school to see if he could find another bottle of Jack Daniels. Just then Alison Blaire, also known as the beautiful Dazzler, came out for a late night soak. She's in town on hiatus from an independent film project she's working on, "The Paris Hilton Story."

Deadpool stood and stared as she walked past him towards the hot tub, her long bouncy blond hair cascading over her bare shoulders, her curvaceous body packed tightly into a skimpy white bikini.

"Hi!" she said, in her usual friendly and inviting voice.

"Hey," Deadpool said in awe as she walked by. As she climbed into the tub, he asked, "Say, um, did you ever see Night of the Living Dead?"

"Are you kidding, that's my favorite movie!" she beamed.

And with a wild "Wahoo!", Deadpool did a cannonball into the hot tub.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, Storm is pretty shallow.

11:09 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Gambit has talked me into watching this new show on Tv - "My name is Earl." There basic theme is that karma will get you in the end. All I can say is, Storm better watch out.

9:59 AM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

*sniff* Storm broke my heart, but hey-hey Dazzler ain't too bad. I usually don't go after married chicks, but Longshot hasn't been in comics for what 4ish years? *yes I broke the fourth wall!!

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Gaia said...

I'm sorry if it seems like I haven't said anything on here for a while BUT SOMEONE HAD ME LOCKED UP IN MY ROOM MAKING ME THINK I WAS A TEDDY BEAR! Now who would ever do a thing like that!?!?

I think I'm gonna stick around for a couple more days then leave. Hearing about Emma's stories really made me wanna go out and travel again. I may tell you about what I see, I may not. I found it was quite hard to find a computer in smoe of the places I went to before. Well, ttfn!
Best Wishes,
Gaia :)

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

If you ever need any comforting Gaia, I always have a shoulder or three you can cry on.

8:35 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Well Gaia, you certainly have been a welcome member of the family and I'm certainly sorry to hear about your recent, um, troubles. At least teddy bears are cute and cuddly. If you do go on a trip, please keep us updated as to your adventures.

And Deadpool, I'm sorry that Storm was so harsh on you but from what I heard telepathically, Dazzler more than made up for it. She's always been a free-spirited girl. She and Longshot have always had an open relationship, though I don't think Lonshot knows about it.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Deadpool said...

w00t! Has own blog now. Anywho, Dazzler more than made up for it, she's a wild thang that I like. Though I did do some work for her bodyguard work for her before. So I have experience.

8:57 PM  

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