Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Day 3: The Siege of Xavier's School for Gifted Students. Jesse Jackson and his coalition remain firmly encamped outside the gates of the school. They spent the day chanting, orating and giving interviews to the press. In fact, the whole thing is like one long press conference. Jackson is calling for boycotts and sanctions against the school because he seems to think we are repressing Storm because she's black. It's all ridiculous but I can't risk doing anything with all the media out there. And to make it worse, Storm was just out there making her own speech. I had the pleasure of watching it televised live on CNN.

"I was born in mother Africa, a child forsaken to poverty," she told the crowd. Many listeners shook their head in sympathy and said things like "Testify!" and "Preach on sister."

"And yet I was happy there in the birth place of civilization. I was an African Queen, respected among my people. And then the white man came along." There were actually hisses from the crowd at that!

"Charles Xavier. He came and took me from my home. He brought me to this place so that he could use me - to promote his own agenda." The audience started booing! I heard people say "slavery".

"And what does he give me in return?" Storm asked.

"I'll bet it's nothin'!" someone shouted.

"Am I rewarded for risking my life for his ends? Do I share in the ownership of what I create? Does he give any respect to the black nation? What do you think my brothers and sisters?" At that the crowd started booing louder.

"That's right. Nothing. Nothing! Not even the crumbs from Master's table!" The crowd was going absolutely wild at that point.

I reached out to Storm telepathically and asked her what this insanity was all about. What did she want?

"Weren't you listening?" I heard her think. "I want partial ownership of the school and of all merchandising rights." My heart skipped a beat.

"Storm, that's just not feasible. You know I have-"

"Then my good friend and savior Jesse and I shall set up a permanent camp here in front of the gates. Everyday we shall let the world know the truth about you and your plantation."

"The truth! This - this is blackmail!"

"Call it what you will but I shall have what I deserve, partner."

I sat there stunned for a moment, unable to come up with a response. "Oh, and Charles? Jesse gets a 15% agency fee."

Reluctantly I agreed to her terms. No sooner had I told her than Jesse announced that I had seen the error of my ways and had instituted dynamic new restitution policies to amend for all my years of bigotry and racism. He was now giving me his seal of approval as an African-American friendly business and he was calling for an end of the boycott. In just a few minutes his entire operation had packed up and was leaving. What a horrible, horrible experience.


Anonymous Gaia said...

Jeeze, and I called Emma a b****.

Anyhoo, we're finished with Kurt. It worked quite splendidley, if I do say so myself. Emma deffinetley had a good picture of what she wanted him to be. He's..he's..perfect. Well, not exactley perfect, but compared to what he used to be- he's perfect.

7:07 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Well that is some good news finally. I look forward to interviewing him in my office later to observe his changes myself. Thank you for you assistance, ladies.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Storm is more than just a pretty face.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Say you two look awfully.... naaahh.

Captain Picard, have you..... naahhhhh.

Professor, do you own a red smoking jacket with an arrowhead badge on it?

It's just..... nah....

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Legal Eagle said...


You caved. You handed Storm and Jesse Jax the whole enchilada.

What are you gonna do about the rest of your super crew?

Call me. I can help. I want to get you in my talons...oops, I mean I want to be your lawyer.

5:20 PM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

Well if you need Storm to change her mind, send her over to place for the night. Oh yeah.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Matt Murdock said...

If you do need some legal help, Mr. Xavier, just call me.

6:33 PM  
Anonymous Emma Frost said...

Dear me. Now I know Storm with rub that in my face sooner or later. I may need to alter her mind again. I'm thinking... a mouse? No one will know the difference.

And yes, I have fixed Kurt, Charles. I tried to model him after a comnination of myself and Jude Law. But don't fret. I did make him humble among other things.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I want to thank you ladies for the amazing change in Nightcrawler. While I'm a little suprised by his now subserviant nature, I can certainly understand why you did it. Hopefully it will prove effective.

And I will be pursing legal alternatives to deal with Storm and Jackson. That isn't over yet. I won't just sit by and let them do a hostile take over of my school.

Perhaps Jean-luc has actually given me an idea. While she is more than a pretty face, she is also a pretty face. Perhaps I can play match-maker, have her fall in love with someone on another team and get her out of the X-Men forever. Let someone else deal with that hell-cat.

6:10 AM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

oh! Oh! MEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ME MEMEMEE!Pleasssssssseeeeeeeeee!!!!!

6:52 PM  

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