Monday, September 19, 2005

Storm returned from the Savage Land with Wolverine today and I must say, the change in him is dramatic. I'm not quite sure what the Scarlet Witch did to him, but it is a miracle.

Upon landing the X-Jet under the retractable basketball court, Storm came directly to my office.

"Professor, I got Wolverine out of Magneto's lair without a moment to spare."

"Why do you say that, Ororo?"

"When I arrived, I found Wolverine giving the Blob a foot massage! With oil and everything!"

"You're kidding?!"

"It was as gross as it sounds. And then when Logan saw me, he broke into a broad smile and ran over to say high. As he ran, Toad used his disgusting tongue to paste a "kick me" sign on his back. And then each evil mutant he passed kicked him! And Wolverine didn't do anything!"

"Didn't do anything? I don't believe it," I answered.

"All he did was say inane things like, "That's pretty funny guys," or "good one." He's, I don't know, become a total nerd. Wolverine is a wuss!"

The change is just incredible. Wolverine's personality has been altered 180 degrees. I'm not quite sure how Wanda did it, but I am definitely in her debt.


Anonymous Emma Frost said...

My God. Wolverine has changed. Although I am quite disturbed by the whole massaging Blob thing, I suppose its better than his usual persona. At least now that he's so tame, I can request a massage instead of pretending to be Jean so Scott will give me one.

And I was too upset to take my revenge on Warren. So I did what I usually do; took it out on Remy. Unfortunately, turning him into a vegetable didn't quite work, Charles. I accidently made him more flamboyant than he usually is. He requested that I tell you he wants a feather boa for Christmas. My appologies, Charles.

9:09 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Somehow I'm not suprised at all. Maybe I'll see if the Scarlet Witch can take a crack at Gambit, too.

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Scarlet Witch said...


7:30 AM  
Anonymous Scarlet Witch said...

Seriously? *

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

*sniff* Does this mean me and Wolvie won't be roomies and stay up late eating cheetos now?

5:27 PM  
Anonymous Emma Frost said...

Don't worry, Deadpool dear. Perhaps you can find a new room mate who is willing to stay up and eat Cheetos with you. Perhaps.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Actually Deadpool, things have become desperate with Wolverine and I'd like to ask for your help in making a man out of him. I'm sending him to your place to be your roommate for a few days. He's a total wuss now and I'm hoping you can toughen him up a bit. All he wants to do now is watch Oprah and talk about his feelings. Please let me know how it goes.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

Sure thing Prof. X. When I'm done with him he'll eat lightning and crap thunder!

5:15 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

That would certainly be something to see!

6:34 PM  

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