Saturday, September 10, 2005

Imagine my surprise to find upon our return from the Dr. Phil show that Nightcrawler had been arrested and was currently being held in the local detention center. Apparently in my absence he was up to his usually tricks with the girls.

Kitty Pryde, a lovely young lady with the power to walk through walls, had returned from the movies about 10pm. She and Colossus had been to see the 40 Year Old Virgin. I think Peter was trying to send her a message. Anyway, when she got up to her room, Nightcrawler was there, stark naked except for a pair of Kitty's silk panties draped over his head.

Kitty freaked. She immediately called the police who were well aware of our address thanks to Scott and Jean's frequent "domestic incidences." In short order, the police were at the school to arrest Nightcrawler. Unfortunately for Kurt, Jean, who feels very protective of the girls, was fed up with his perverted antics. She used her psionic powers to interfere with his ability to trigger a teleport, so Kurt couldn't flee. The police took him into custody and he spent a night in the tombs.

I thought about springing him by altering all the officers' thoughts, but it may actually do him some good to spend a few days behind bars. Hopefully that will give him the motivation to keep his twisted inclinations in check.


Anonymous Deadpool said...

Ain't Nightcrawler the blue priest with a tail? Suprised he's going into the women's rooms, if you know what I mean. Zing! Though I heard he had a thing with Dazzler

9:53 PM  
Anonymous Magneto said...

YOU TAKE HIM BACK, YOU TAKE HIM BACK RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! He makes fun of everything. Mystique will not come out of her room now because he made some comment about her being blue and some how he got Wanda mad at me again . Alright Charels, you had your fun. I took him, you got a break but enough is enough. I can't concentrate on anything! I mean its hardly been a day and almost the whole Brother-hood has turned on me all because of him!He thinks this is all a game and constantly laughs at us if we tell him otherwise! Either take him back or do something with his mind because none of us cane deal with this much longer.

Yours truly
Erik Magnus "Magneto" Lehnsherr
P.S. If I do not see any change within 5 days you and your precious X-Men can expect a visit from your dear half-brother Marko.

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

Give him to the New Avengers!

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Scarlet Witch said...

Oh, so like you "daddy". As soon as something goes wrong you just try and dump the problem off on someone else. Be a real man, take him on yourself. Aren't the "master of magnatism"? And you cant deal with someone who has it laced throught their body?Oh, no i forgot. Everyone, Magneto is a big fake. He's no "mutant terrorist" he's a crazy, old, desperate man who thinks he's he should rule the world but can barely rule a group of 6 people. Believe me, he is no "master of magnetism" can hardly lift a trash can let alone destroy the world. Oh, im sorry daddy did i let your secret slip? You'll have to through a stapler or something at me later.

8:44 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Well Erik my old friend, I certainly didn't mean to unleash those kind of family problems. I know that if I take hime back, Scott will just go fetal on me again. He's such a crybaby! We'll have to see if we can come up with a solution. Hmmm, maybe Deadpool can help. They do share some genes.

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Deadpool said...

Well...I guess I could take him as my room mate while Cable is off in Vegas of the Future or whaterver...Though you'd have to pay full rent and pay for the monthly supply of cheetos.

6:45 PM  

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