Sunday, September 04, 2005

I woke up again in a fog this morning, an empty bottle of chardonnay smashed against the wall. My wheelchair was tipped over and after 2 hours of strenuous labor, I managed to get it upright. No sooner had I clawed my way back into my seat when Wolverine came bursting in.

"Hey Wheels, I got a great idea!" he shouted. His voice was like a sledgehammer smashing into my hippocampus. Normally I hate it when he calls me "Wheels" but my mind racked by such a terrible hangover that I didn't even notice.

"We ought to get a camera crew here an' do another Amazing Mutant Race. We could be bigger than the Bobby Brown show!"

"What on God's green Earth are you going on about?" I moaned.

"We could do our own reality show! We'll be TV stars!"

"Logan," I said slowly, "reality TV is the very nadir of our culture. If the aliens are monitoring our television broadcasts to determine if the human race offers any value to the universe, and they happen to see the Amazing Race, then the Earth is doomed. We can absolutely positively under no circumstances have our own reality show."

"But Professor," he protested, "you wants to spread your ideas about peace and love and all that crap, right? Our TV show'd be perfect!"

"No!" I yelled, my head throbbing. "It's a stupid idea! Get out of my office!"

Sometimes I am amazed that man has enough brain power to breath. I am going to see Magneto tomorrow. I mean it this time.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Evil Monkey Pope said...

TV-monitoring aliens ... this looks likea perfect Mojoverse crossover! Huzzah! This blog is sorely lacking in Spiral.

12:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is anyone going to address this comment? Frankley I'm kinda freaked out by it.

7:43 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

My initial comment about TV-monitoring aliens was meant just to give Logan some perspective, however since evil monkey's comment, I began to scan telepathically the ether. I have detected an unknown presence. I don't know if it is from the Mojoverse, but I will continue to monitor this presence and keep you advised.

8:13 PM  

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