Monday, September 05, 2005

Having had enough of Wolverine, I decided on a drastic course. I went for a visit today with my former colleague, Erik Magnus Lehnsherr, also know as Magneto, the self-proclaimed Master of Magnetism. He is currently incarcerated in a maximum-security federal facility for the super-powered following his last failed exploit to conquer the world. I have to use my fast mental powers to "persuade" the operators of the facility that they are suppose to let me in.

"You're looking well, Erik," I told him in an effort to be sociable.

"Hello Charles, my old friend. And how are the children?"

"If you mean my X-Men, they are doing just fine. Mostly."

"I'm not sensing a problem in your utopian paradise, am I?" he asked smugly.

"First of all, I never claimed to be building a paradise. Merely a world of peace and understanding between humans and mutants."

"And you haven't finished yet? Getting sloppy, Charles."

"As you know, there are those on both sides who resist."

"You're kidding," he said with a sarcastic smile.

"Anyway, I didn't come to talk philosophy. I came to discuss Wolverine."

"Ah yes, the famous Weapon X. And how is he doing?"

"Frankly, he is annoying me to death. His petty juvenile obsessions are ludicrous."

"He is special."

"If by "special" you mean mentally retarded, then I agree with you."

"And here I thought you were an optimist," Erik said with a wink.

"Alright, let's just cut through all the charades. Here's the deal I'm offering. If you will take Wolverine off my hands, bring him into the Brotherhood, I will get you out of here."

That gave Magneto some pause. "And what if he doesn't want to join?"

"Just leave that to me," I said, brandishing my own wry smile. "Do we have a deal?"

"Why, of course, my dear friend. I am always glad to offer my assistance."

I can not describe the elation my spirit felt at the thought of finally being free of that attention seeking lug. Leaving the facility with Magneto at my side was no harder than my entering. Just one of the perks of being the world's most powerful telepath.


Anonymous Deadpool said...

Does this mean I get a spot in the X-men?! I'd be the bestest X-menest, X-man ever! I make great muffins. Plus I don't need a uniform, I could just use Marvel Girl's.

7:13 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

While I do admire your enthusiasm, you aren't technically a mutant. True you do share some genetic material with Wolverine, who is a mutant, but I'm afraid that's just not quite enough to qualify you admission to my school.

And by the way, Jean hates the name Marvel Girl. She's become quite the feminist.

10:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When Storm lost her powers she was able to join again.

7:13 PM  

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