Friday, August 26, 2005

I'm beginning to think that starting this school was a big mistake. My "students" are just far too draining on my intellectual reserves. I just had a visit from Wolverine and Colossus.

"Hey 'Wheels'!" Wolverine said as he burst into my office unannounced. I hate it when he calls me that. "The Commie and me are gonna try out for the Amazin' Race."

"Da," said Colossus as the giant walked in behind Wolverine.

"We're gonna kick all those pansy teams asses!" shouted Wolverine.

"Now Logan, you know that it would not be fair to have mutants with their superior powers and abilities to compete in events against regular humans," I said, in an effort to talk some sense into the boys.

"Aww, that's bullcrap, Charlie! We got powers and we're gonna use them to kick some ass! You should see what these idiots are doing on the show. On the rerun on the Gameshow Network tonight this pathetic loser was tossing these little balls into the back of a truck and they kept bouncing out! He was whinnin' like a little girl 'cause the balls had little stickers on 'em. I could a done that challenge in like 2 seconds. We are gonna kick ass!"

"Da," Colossus said as he high-fived Wolverine.

"Now Peter," I said, hoping I could at least make Colossus see reason, "as a believer in communist ideology, surely this type of competition for a large cash price reeks of capitalism and is therefore anathema to you."

"Vhatever, I just vant to kick ass!" Colossus answered, high-fiving Wolverine again.

"Don't you think anyone is going to notice that you are a mutant when you turn your body into organic steel?" I asked, making another effort to show them the light.

Colossus stood there for a moment with a confused look on his face.

"If anybody says, anything, we'll just cut 'em up!" Wolverine
shouted, unsheathing his adamantium claws with a loud
"snnikktt" sound.

"I believe that commiting a crime is a disqualification from the race. Not that I've seen the show," I replied. Now Wolverine looked confused.

"But we could kick such ass!" he protested. "Forget it Charlie, we're goin'!"

With a sigh I used my awesome mental powers to remove their desire to be contestants on the Amazing Race. I thought about removing their interest in the show altogether, but I try to limit my mental meddling to a minimum. I think I really might have to talk to Magneto about taking Wolverine off my hands. Of course, I'll have to break Eric out of jail first.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm coming for your Xavier.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Wolverine, is that you?

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Wolverine. said...

Hell yes it's me, Chuck! Now I'm gonna kick your ass!

3:58 PM  

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