Thursday, August 25, 2005

I have also been getting a lot of complaints from my female students about Nightcrawler. They tell me that he uses his teleporting power to materialize into the girl's bathroom while they are in the shower. Apparently he doesn't realize that his teleporting creates a loud "bamf" sound, a big cloud of dark smoke and a foul odor. Not very discrete.

I called Kurt into my office to explain that this is inappropriate behavior that will not be tolerated.

"First of all, you are invading the girl's privacy," I told him. "Secondly, most of the students are underage. You are exposing the school, and more importantly myself, to serious liability."

"But Herr Professor," he replied in his weird German accent, "I am providing a valuable service to za leibschoens. Zey must learn about boys, no? And . . . sex, yes?"

"Kurt, spying on girls while they are in the shower is not teaching them about sex. Leave the biology lessons to Storm. That's the subject she teaches. You are forbidden from teleporting into the girls' bathroom. Do you understand?"

"Ja, mein Professor. Umm, vhat about za girls' lockerroom?"

"No, you pervert! Stay away from the girls!" I screamed.

"Well, what about Jean and Ororo? Zey are over 17."

"No, you little blue freak! You cannot spy on anyone! Ever! Now get out of my sight!"

He skulked out of my office like a wounded puppy. I'm going to have to get that pedophile into therapy before he gets me into trouble.


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