Thursday, January 19, 2006

The two new Horsemen of Apocalypse, Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, laughed maniacally in the doorway to the control room. The X-Men and I stared at their unexpected arrival for a few moments before we were able to react. Deadpool was the first to gather his wits.

A spray of steaming hot lead flew from his twin Uzis, hurtling with deadly accuracy towards the two actor/mutant/Horsemen. Cruise, still laughing, pulled his lips back in an inhumanly large smile. His teeth quickly grew to five times their original, already humongous size and then an insanely bright white light flashed from them. All the bullets melted in mid-air.

Jean was the next to spring to action. She rose into the air and launched energy blasts at the two. At almost the same instant, Cyclops fired his optic beam at them. Pitt's smile also broadened. As his mouth widened, the fabric of space in front of him warped. When the energy beams passed through the warped space, they gathered up into a ball and started spinning very quickly. The fiery red balls rapidly grew in size and then hurtled back towards Scott and Jean.

Seeing his friends in mortal peril, Northstar hurled himself in front of the blasts. He let out a terrible screech of pain as he made himself into a human shield, saving the lives of Jean and Scott. Jean-Paul's charred, dead body dropped to the ground.

"They killed Northstar!" Scott said.

"You bastards!" yelled Jean.

Everyone but Gaia and myself charged at Cruise and Pitt. A ferocious battle ensued. As the fight raged on, Gaia focused her energies on Northstar. She covered him in a shimmering light. Slowly his charred flesh returned to normal. Focusing her energies delicately on his heart, she acted like a living defibrillator. Slowly, painfully, Jean-Paul lifted his head.

"Oh la la," he moaned. "Je suis ou?"

Just then Brad Pitt went flying over his head. When he crashed into the ground, he did not get up. Colossus ran up behind him to make sure he was out.

"You can be talking about zat fight club all you be wanting to," the large Russian said with a triumphant smile.

Then a high pitched girly scream filled the room. We all turned to see Selene standing behind Cruise, her hands on his temple, draining his life essence. I could see that he was trying to focus his strength for a counter attack. With his defenses momentarily down, I was able to launch a sharp mental attack, rendering him unconscious.

With the four Horsemen beaten, we charged on into the room where the prisoners were being held. We saw the giant containment unit housing. In the center, under a massive array of distributors, stood Apocalypse. The meters above the prisoners indicated that their life forces were almost completely drained. Apocalypse was three times his normal size and bristling with power. He turned slowly towards us.

"So Xavier, you wanted to know my ultimate goal? Now you do . . power!!" With that he unleashed for bolts of pure energy. They flew over our heads and zipped into the room we had just come from. We looked around confused for a moment until we saw the four, now freed and re-energized, Horsemen run up behind us. All of them were laughing insanely.


Blogger Son Goku said...

Again with the power draining thing? Oh well. I guess he' be beaten again.

10:15 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

It's always about power, well, occasionally it's about nice shoes, but usually power.

I think you should call on Angelina Jolie, she's a dogooder type, she could distract Brad. And she could kick Oprah and Celine's butts.

1:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he re-energized them? does apoc have the energizer bunny as a horsemen?

if so you are in trouble because those horsemen will keep coming and coming

9:48 AM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...

Oh man, I think that I'll just watch this from a safe distance.

12:16 PM  
Blogger * Northstar * said...

Zut alors. I throw myself at a woman, not very fond of that, and I get hurt. So I take my lesson and decide to throw myself in front of two fireballs. Alors, c'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?

Merci Gaia

4:13 PM  
Blogger Gaia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Selene said...

You super villian's suffer from a VERY serious illness. It's called "insane laughter" As you can see, we can't control it....

6:04 PM  
Blogger Gaia said...

C’est pas un problème. Quelque chose pour l'équipe.

I have a feeling you're not the only one that's going to need healing by the time we're done.

You know Vampirella, I think you're right. I swear I saw a pair of pink bunny ears behind a crate.

6:47 PM  
Blogger Wanda Maximoff said...

Um.. Well... I think Emma and I should just rescue ourselves and the others. I mean with my arcane abilities and reality shifting, and her... "attitude" I'm sure we can fend off those silly Horsemen ourselves.

Then again, our powers are being suppressed. Though, I'm not certain that applies to my magic.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Jean Grey-Summers said...

What're the chances of us seducing the Horsemen into a false-sense of security. I could take Brad, JP can handle Tom, and Scott and Colossus can take the cow and the dying bird.



7:54 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Wow! We call knew how evil they were!

9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

btw Xavier I notice that on your blog roll you listed Yoda as homo sapien (is this right I htink he should be listed under alien LOL dont you think :P)

10:39 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

That is a good point, Vampirella. Perhaps I should change that catagory to "other."

3:57 PM  

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