Saturday, October 15, 2005

Now that things are a little more quiet here at the school, I have some time to discuss something rather serious that has been weighing on my mind for the last few days. Fox has cancelled The Simple Life.

Now I realize that there are mixed feelings out there about the place that this show occupies in American culture, but from my point of view, this may just be the most important program that has ever aired on television.

The plot is simple. Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, two incredibly wealthy heiresses who are sort of friends and are attractive in that "if the light hits them right" kind of way, travel around the rural backroads of America and are forced to interact with the common working class man. Spoiled rich girls who have never done an honest days work in their entire lives are forced to wait tables in a diner and stick their hands in the rear ends of cows.

Now, what makes that so vital to America? Simple. The USA is an idealistic society. One of her fundamental principles has always been that all men are created equal. This, of course, is simply not true. And yet by accepting this fiction, people are more content with their lot in life, even though the vast majority will never rise to a station where they have an impact on history or ever become free of the burden of money. We are bombarded with rags to riches stories that reinforce this fiction. In addition to buying into these types of fantastic fables, our culture
also takes great pleasure in humiliating or tearing down the wealthy. If we are unable to become them, then we want to believe that we wouldn't want to be them.

Paris Hilton is the ultimate catharsis for the majority of Americans who are stuck in the station they were born to. We can all look at her and see what a slutty imbecile she is. We can look down on her and ridicule her even though she is part of the incredibly wealthy elite. By tearing her down, we thereby feel better about ourselves and our lives.

That's why The Simple Life is vital to the stability of America. Without it, we may well be facing another mass uprising. A rebellion such as the British faced back in 1776. I sincerely hope, for the good of our nation, that another network picks up this show and that it runs for many, many years, even if Paris and Nicole do despise each other.


Blogger Deadpool said...

Maybe UPN or someone could pick it up...They oughta add Bea Arthur! That'd bring in the ratings. I'd tivo every episode if that happened.

12:10 AM  
Blogger Haris said...

Sorry for not comenting on your post for some time. As you knwo I have been on a vacation of sorts and now I have to prepare for exams. But I checked out teh sites you recoment and the back sotry seems amazing. I look forward to investigating it further when I get the time.
I woudl alos like ot thank you for your continued interest in my blog. I am interested in your experience with submarines, if you are alowed to talk about it that is.
As far as teh whole Paris Hilton / Nicole Richie thing. Well I dont quite like either of them but I see your point.
Again, my appologies for not responding sooner and a huge Thank You for your continuing interest. If there is any way I can repay the favour I will do that.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

What a tragedy for American tv that they will no longer have Paris Hilton gracing their screens.

Could not the X-Men do something about this?

9:53 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Now that I think about it, Paris Hilton must be a mutant. It's really so obvious that I just can't believe I didn't see it before. Perhaps I had best send Cyclops and Jean Grey to recruit her.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Haris said...

I really dont knwo Professor is Paris Hilton Really a mutant that you want to be hanging arond. Think of teh disease the consequences teh sexual frustration and the onflicts with the woman of X-men. If she doesnt watch out I give her the grand total of 5 seconds

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Scarlet Witch said...

There seems to be some sort of infestation of alien goo in our basement. I was walking and discussing plans in the basement with one of the contractors (I’m pretty sure Betsy was following us, for reasons unknown) when we stumbled across an enormous, smelly, bubbling pile of green/purple goo.
It doesn't seem to be made by any normal living thing I know of on this earth. We haven't really touched it or moved it yet, and I haven't told Dazzler. How embarrassing, to have your own club infested with alien goo...
I thought I'd ask you what we should do, seeing as you have had experience with aliens before.

5:07 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Wanda, I telepathically communicated with Sage and had her do a cyber-scan of your area. It is as I feared. What you describe is the remnants of a Brood hatchery. Those things make the creatures in "Aliens" look like Tele-tubbies. It looks like this is going to be the X-Hibitionists first mission. My best wishes are with you, Wanda.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Scarlet Witch said...

All righ then. If you say it's dangerous, we can just blow it up. This won't be that hard, just have to throw a hex bolt at it. Oh, and we've finally got the desings done so we can start building tomorrow.

P.S. Betsy is still following me everywhere. Did this happen to anyone at the mansion?

8:59 PM  
Blogger Dazzler said...

Oh gross. I had slime in my basement? Those bartenders are going to be hearing from me. I told them to clean up down there a few weeks ago but no. God. Just put it in a trash bag and give it to the Hellfire Club to deal with. They always throw trash into my club.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Paris said...

The last time Nicky was in a rehab center for her drug and alcohol addictions, she didn't have anything else to do so she started reading your blog. It's become another addiction for her.

Anyway, she turned me on to it (your blog, not her drugs), and I think you're brilliant. I love your mind. I couldn't stand it last week when you missed a posting.

Then much to my amazement, you devote a whole entry to Nicky and me and our work on TV. The first part of it seemed very incisive and sociologically useful, but then I came to the part where you say I'm a slutty imbecile and that "we" (you seemed to be speaking for everyone) look down on me and ridicule me.

Let me set you straight, Professor.

First of all, I certainly don't blame you for calling me slutty. After all, I was brought to the attention of the public five years ago by a sex tape my then boyfriend sold to the internet and it is estimated 25 million people have seen. THe tape showed the two of us rutting like dogs while I talked to someone on my cell phone. Slutty, right? I can only say that he was by bf at the time, and I loved him. I was raised to believe that sex is not bad per se.

Guess how many lovers I have had? I'll tell you if you want. I'm sure you would be surprised. In any event, I want to get married and be a good wife to my husband -- do you have any feelings about that?

So, call me slutty if you want, but what does such name-calling say about you. Do you know you are jeopardizing your school, hidden though it may be, and your every possession? I know you're a genius when it comes to mutants and telepathy, but apparently Professor, you lack in other areas of knowledge. You should learn something about the law. Slandering someone can get you in beaucoup trouble.

You say I'm incredibly wealthy, but do you know how rich I really am? Do you want me to tell you?

Every time someone stays in one of my family's hotels, we get some of that.

I could use a small part of my $$$ and hire a legal team to go to the Westchester County Courthouse in White Plains and crush you like a bug...but I wouldn't do that, I admire you too much.

But do you think you're a gentleman, calling any woman such names? Even if you are no gentleman, it's ok with me. Realistically? How many saints do you know? How many perfect people?

Then you say I'm an imbecile. I'm not, you know. Does this comment seem to be written by an imbecile?

As far as being looked down on, please let me tell you a story.

I have recently been engaged to a fellow from Greece whose name is also Paris. Maybe you heard. I had to break it off because his mother and father are snobs. They look down on my parents. And do you know why? Because his parents have billions of dollars from owning super tankers, which are more remunerative than mere hotels.

I am shattered to think you may be right and that the public looks down on me, like my former fiance's parent do. I haven't slept nor have I eaten very well since your criticism.

I want to set a good example for young women (I'm 22 -- what do you think about 22-year-olds?).

What can I do? Professor, I am relying on you to coach me here.

You say Nicky and I despise each other. What really is going on is that Nicky keeps feeding her addictions and I keep busting her for it. So yes, there is a certain amount of mutual despication, but basically we are gf's.

Professor, I want to know something about you -- are you married?

2:57 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Dear Paris,

Obviously, my posting struck a nerve. The focus of my comments were meant to present a different slant on the fragile class system that we have here in America. You and your erst-while cohort were merely an illustration of my point. And I wasn't expressing my own particular view of you, but rather the popular perception. You missive was certainly well crafted and intelligent, in opposition to that public image. I'm sure deep down inside you really are wholesome, too. As far as setting a good example goes, perhaps not appearing topless on the cover of international magazines.

I'm glad you enjoy my blog and thank you for writing.

Charles X.

6:08 PM  

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