Thursday, March 08, 2007

I glanced over at the unmoving bodies of Cyclops and Colossus. They weren't moving. Her audience snarled wildly as the moved as one slow, lumbering mass towards the stage. Oprah-zilla was stomping rapidly towards me. I threw my combat hover chair into reverse and popped open the heat-seeking mini-stinger missles covers and pressed down on the trigger.

Oprah zapped my chair with lazer beams from her eyes. Suddenly nothing was happening as I frantically pressed the missile launch button. The chair stopped moving. All the electronic components went dead. Oprah-zilla was now on top of me. Her giant foot hovered over my head. I had only one chance.

I projected the image of a giant Twinkie before her eyes. Her stomach made the most horrible rumbling sound and large strands of drool began dripping from her mouth. A huge drop splashed on top of my head. As truly revolted as I was, I kept all my concentration on continuing the projection of the Twinkie.

Oprah-zilla swung out her stubby claw for it. I pulled the image back. She let out a ferocious roar and charged towards it, swinging wildly. I kept the phantom Twinkie just out of her reach. Leading her like a sheep, I manuevered Oprah-zilla out into the midst of the Soccormom-werewolves. Loud rending creaks filled the large studio. With a huge crash, the floor under the seats collapsed. Oprah-zilla's massive body fell down the hole, smashing through the floor below and the floor below that. Her audience followed her down like a herd of brainless lemmings.

Seeing my opportunity, I kicked in the back up power supply and threw Cyclops and Colossus over the back of my chair. We moved at top speed back to the car and got the hell out of Chicago.


Blogger Vegeta said...

ha The old twinkie Trick! That is usually how i get Kakrot and , and Goten out of my house. I throw a twinkie through the door, and and as they fight for it I lock the door.

12:15 AM  
Blogger cooltopten said...

lol The deadly twinkie trick.I knew oprah-zilla would fall for that:)

5:58 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I hope this encounter doesn't sour your oppinion of chicago. It's a great place here, we've got a nice lakefront, and pizza, and uh, some other nice stuff.

6:42 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Teh twinkie defence! made famouse in San Francisco in teh late 1970's .... oh that was another twinkie defence, nevermind.

Sorry to ask again, but where is hot Oprah in the red nightie?

2:08 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

I guess this would be called a tough interview with Oprah?

2:32 PM  

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