Monday, January 22, 2007

"We have here Professor Charles Xavier," Jon Stewart said as I rolled out to his desk. The audience applauded politely. "The show is the Amazing Mutant Race 3. So tell me Professor, who's winning the race so far?"

"Well, the current leader is A Army of (Cl)One and Angel."

"Army of Clone? He's one of the Empire's Stormtrooper, right?"

"Er, I believe that's one of his job titles, yes. But I could be -"

"You have stormtroopers on your show? Very interesting. So you're admiting your show features Aanti-Semites, then?

"What? No, of course not. AOC has absolutely no connection what-so-ever to . ."

"And this is the 'mutant' race, right? There are X-Men that are participating?"

"Yes, but-"

"You do know the X-Men are incredibly Anti-Semitic, right?"

"What are talking about? Of course they are not-"

"Who's the number one bad guy? The mutant terrorist that has threatened to destroy the planet on hundreds of occasions? Mangeto. A Jew."

"That's ridiculous. It's . . it's just a coincidence."

"Oh sure. Just like Haliburton getting the reconstruction contracts for Iraq, right?"

"Excuse me? Look, the X-Men happens to have a Jewish person on the team."

"Oh yeah right, Kitty Pryde. What's her power? Disappearing? I bet plenty of people wish all the Jews had that power."

"This is preposterious. I don't-"

"And that's all the time we have. The man - Professor X. The show - The Amazing Mutant Race 3. The issue - Anti-Semitism. Stay tuned."


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wow, I thought Jon Stewart would be nicer to you. Couldn't you have tweaked his brain just a little? You know, not screw anything up, but make him just a little friendlier.

10:19 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Haw Haw

10:45 PM  
Blogger KODIAK THE UNCANNY said...

Damn wheels, first you're vir'bly molested by Howy stern, then rosie starts one of her famous
hedro-phobe fueds wit you, now Jon stewart wants to lench you cause he thinks your a Natiz.

Whats next Space ghost coast to coast?

2:13 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Don't give them any ideas!

5:42 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Another great media performance by Professor X.

2:50 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

*shows up wearing the SnowTrooper outfit*

Why would someone think I was racist?

2:52 PM  

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