The CBS Press Liason sent me out on my first stop. Live With Regis and Somebody Or Other.
"We're here to today with Professor X, headmaster of the Xavier School for Gifted Students right here in New York. Let me just say Professor, you have got one GREAT name!"
"Thank you Regis. But my name isn't actually . ."
"So does that mean you're a member of the Nation of Islam?" the ditzy blond next to Regis asked. "You all change your names to 'X', right?"
"What? No, I'm not a Muslim. That isn't . ."
"And that chair!" Regis yelled. "WOW! That thing is great! It's HUGE! And it doesn't seem to have any wheels! Gelman, are you seeing this?"
A rotund man standing near the camera nodded.
"My chair isn't really that . ."
"And can I just say that I think it's wonderful that you work with disabled children," the blond interrupted. "That really is a special calling."
"What? My children aren't disabled. They're special because . ."
"Now let's talk about this new SHOW!" Regis shouted. "The Amazing Mutant Race 3. THREE! Now that's amazing! It's on CBS, right? It sounds like a great show! Tell us how it works!"
"Well there are 11 teams of two that are racing . ."
"And can I just say that it's really wonderful you're letting mutants play?" the blond asked. "I mean they're people too, right? They deserve to be able to play our games. I think that's just really special. Let's have a round of applause."
At that the drones in the studio audience all began clapping their hands.
"Thank your Professor X!" Regis shouted. He turned to the cameras and continued. "After the break we're going to have a very special guest - Carrot Top! Be there!"
That was something I did not want to wait around for.