Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I sat at my desk staring at the ringing phone. It just kept going and going. It was at that point that I regreted never getting an answering machine. I knew who it was on the other line, you see. That oily TV exec from CBS. I knew he would want me to go on some other horrid show to promote the Amazing Mutant Race 3.

The phone had actually been ringing all morning. All the papers wanted to know about why Spider-Man had dropped out of the race. They all suspected some serious scandel. Was it drugs? Was he caught in delicto flagrante with Emma Frost?

'No comment' was all that I would offer as to why he flaked out. That just seemed to fuel their suspicions that there was something far more juicy behind it. As a telepath I of course knew the truth, but I figured all the gossip mongering who do more to boost media attention on the show, so let the sharks feed.

And now the CBS exec was calling. The phone was still ringing after four minutes. I could not believe this man's tenacity. A part of me was curious as to how long he could keep it up. But another part of me couldn't stand the ringing any more. It was driving me crazy. I yanked the phone off the cradle.

"What?!" I shouted into the receiver.

"Charlie baby! Glad I caught you. Were you in the dumper or somethin'?"

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind that. Great news. I scored a real coup for you! The biggest of the big. Tomorrow at 10am."

The biggest of the big? Who could he mean? Oh no. Oprah! She was one of Apocalypse's four horsemen. She's a very powerful mutant who holds a grudge.

"It's The View. Biggest show on TV. It'll double our ratings!"

"The View? Couldn't I do Oprah?" I asked.

"Forget Oprah. She's had it. Totally out of touch. The View is where it's at. The limo will be at your school tomorrow."



Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Rosie is really the Blob in drag.

9:39 PM  
Blogger Kon-El said...

here I'll help ya get ready Bak Bak Bak Bak! yeah that's the sound of all the hen pecki'n you'll get better you than me

9:57 PM  
Blogger Boulder said...

i'm sorry bud, wish i could somehow help ya... wait i could smash the phone? or have wolvie cut the line?

1:01 AM  
Blogger polar said...

bummer... i dont know which is worst tho oprah or rosie?

1:02 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Delicto flagrante? Doesn't that come with wine sauce?

Oh and is Rosie going to tear into you like she did to Donald Trump? What a delicious fued you two would make!

8:03 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

The View is okay once you get to used to it, as in turning the voume on to mute and just focusing on the pretty ones breast. But my god! The red head! The one with the nasally voice! That gives me an idea...I'll torture Kid Flash by making him watch the View. Though he'd probably end up liking it. Though you'd probably prefer Oprah as she supports mutant rights. The View will probably say that mutant men take advantage of mutant/human women!
Good Luck...cough.

11:00 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Why you are at the show, if Trump the Rug Head shows up, make Rosie fly into a rage and smack the heck out of him. That guy is a major loser.

3:02 PM  
Blogger cooltopten said...

If things get too heavy with rosie and trump is there you can set his rug on her,and slip out in the confusion.

7:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can always ask Carol and Scott to take your place

Hey care for a tumble for old times sake?

Vampi (or is it?)

2:28 PM  
Blogger Kid Flash said...

You will suffer at the hands of these women! Imagine being stuck in a room with Ororo and times that by infinity!!! Hopefully you will escape the torment- mind control anyone?
Kid Flash.

6:04 PM  
Blogger Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

Bless your heart, Professor.

11:05 AM  
Blogger Black Widow said...

LOL that is the way to handel it Prof

4:20 PM  

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