Tuesday, April 11, 2006

With the mysterious Emma and Jean doubles locked safely down in Hank's lab, I was able to turn to more pressing matters. Namely, checking my e-mail inbox. It's amazing how much spam can accumulate when you are on the other side of the universe for a week. Let me just say that any program that advertises itself as a spam-blocker is blowing hot air.

After I had just deleted my umpteenth e-mail promising phenomenal profit returns for some penny stock I had never heard of, I came upon a message that sent a chill down my spine. A really, really cold chill. It was from Cassandra Nova.

For those of you who don't know, I have a sister. Had a sister. Have a sister, apparently. A twin sister. I've actually killed her twice now but it looks like she's back again. Sigh. While I appreciate that we can always get Jean or Colossus back fairly promptly when then get killed, it seems the bad guys get to come back too. And my sister is bad. You don't think I would have killed her twice otherwise, do you?

The first time I did her in was actually when we were both still in the womb. I was barely sentient so I don't think I can really be blamed for that one. I could just feel how evil she was so I used my psionic powers (my little baby fetal powers) to do her in. She was still-born but she quickly recovered.

The second time I killed her was after she had launched a genocidal attack on mutants. She murdered thousands of us. In case I didn't mention it, she is evil. So I shot her. Six times. She was definitely dead. But once again she quickly recovered. That's how it goes in my world.

After our last battle we had managed to trap her consciousness in an alien named Stuff. Apparently she escaped and is now coming back to haunt me.

Unless . . (quickly checks the calendar) . . blast! April 1st has already passed. Ok, so it's Cassandra Nova, my evil and incredibly powerful twin sister. I suggest you all seek shelter now.


Blogger Nightcrawler said...


Thiz iz not good newz!

10:22 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

So, can I make a suggestion? Perhaps next time you kill her, you chop her head off. If lightning starts up after you do that, she's dead. If she regrows her head, well, then you're just screwed and best of luck to you.

2:34 AM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

Oh My a twin

2:50 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That's got to be such a horrible task, killing your own twin.

Although I do admit, you two do look alike.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Jean Grey-Summers said...

Don't worry Professor. We'll get rid of her this time just like we did the last time.

Just cause she comes back doesn't mean she can't die. Or maybe we can get someone to trap her in an alternate dimension or something. Know anyone who can toss people from reality?

1:35 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Well there's always Dr. Strange. He's kind of the like the neighborhood garbage man. Once he's back from helping Vegeta, maybe I'll see if he can do something about this for us.

Then again, maybe Cassandra has changed and wants to be friends now.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

I think go on Dr Phil, you two should. Obviously, issues you have, like the fact that her you keep killing.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...

Oh man, a bald chick! I haven't been this turned on sinse Star Trek the Motion Picture.

6:16 PM  
Blogger Cassandra Nova said...

"And my sister is bad"

Charles, you flatter me.

And I'm going to get you back for those six shots. Mark my words, I'll shoot you seven.

7:53 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Whoa, that is one ugly sister, that could be a small reason she's so angry. Perhaps for her next birthday you could get her a makeover and a wig. Just a thought

7:59 PM  
Blogger Cassandra Nova said...

Dear, you would do well to learn not to make such remarks about one's appearance.

As a fetus I was thrown into the sewer and I had to grow myself. What did you expect?

Kindly keep your mouth shut about it, or I shall rip it off for you.

8:26 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...


8:28 PM  

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