Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Cyclops engaged the X-Jet's stealth mode and landed us in a corn field just a few miles from the Vault. As Wolverine, Colossus, Beast and Nightcrawler pushed each other out the way to get into the X-Buggy first, I had a momentary pang of regret that I didn't take the time to select a more subtle team for this prison break. Loud "snnikktt" sounds filled the small passenger compartment as Wolverine kept withdrawing and retracting his claws.

The fact is, I didn't really need to take any of them on this mission. I could just use my psionic powers to take over the minds of all the guards at the Vault. Cyclops has been so eager to lead though, I thought this might be a nice opportunity for him. And Wolverine must be kept busy or he'll end up destroying all the furniture at the school.

When we reached the prison, the team immediately sprung into action. Beast quickly climbed up the right security tower and jumped between the two guards on the observation platform. Before they had a chance to react, he had smashed their heads together, sending them into dreamland.

Nightcrawler teleported onto the top of the left tower and did something similar to the two guards there. Meanwhile, Cyclops blasted the security cameras above the front door. Once the coast was clear, Colossus changed to his organic steel form and charged at the front door. He easily ripped it from its hinges and tossed it across the yard. This had the unfortunate consequence of setting off the alarms.

This, of course, did not deter Wolverine. He charged straight through the now open door. We all followed. We made our way quickly to Sector B, where the Brotherhood mutants were being held. Surprisingly, we encountered no resistance. At least, not until we reached the main gate to Sector B.

Standing between us and the Brotherhood's cells was US Agent, the head of security for the Vault. Standing behind him were the New Avengers.

"Let's kill these mutie scum!" snarled US Agent.

"Wait a second, son," said Captain America as he stepped next to him. "Wolverine, you're one of us now. Why don't you come stand over here?"

Power Man nodded supportively at him and Spider-Woman arched her back, causing her ample breasts to lift up high. If anything was going to make Wolverine betray us, it was that. Breasts are his kryptonite.

"Sorry Cap, I'm an X-Man first, last and always," Wolverine said. "The New Avengers is an alright weekend gig to kill some time, but this is my family."

Captain America just nodded. The room grew quiet as everyone tensed. Both teams were ready to strike. Telepathically, I told Wolverine that this was his chance.

Gleefully, he jumped into Colossus arms. "Fast-ball Special!!" he yelled, as Colossus tossed him forcefully at Iron Man. With his adamantium claws out, Wolverine sliced through the main power regulator's in Iron Man's chest plate. He never had a chance to defend himself. Smoke and sparks started flying out of his suit.

Unfortunately for Wolverine, he landed in Power Man's arms. "We gonna try that again!" shouted Luke Cage as he threw him with all his might back at Colossus. Peter caught Logan without any problem and threw him back at Cage. This time, Wolverine had his claws straight out in front of him, aimed straight for Cage's chest.

Mere inches from impact, Spider-Man's webbing caught Wolverine and pulled him back. Spider-Man started slinging Logan around over his head before releasing his web rope, sending Wolverine flying across the room.

Meanwhile, Captain America threw his shield at Colossus head. Cyclops managed to deflect the shield with an optic blast just moments before being hit by a bio-electric "venom blast" from Spider-Woman. Colossus picked up the shield and threw it with all his might into the ceiling where it became deeply embedded.

Beast had leapt at Spider-Man and the two of them were now bouncing off the walls, swinging and kicking at each other without either having much luck landing a blow. Nightcrawler had teleported behind US Agent and was trying to kick him, but the Agent was just too fast.

"Enough," I said. Gathering my mental energies I took over the minds of the New Avengers. The first thing I did was have Captain America give a strong right hook to US Agent. That racist, fascist pig really bothers me. Then I had them enter an empty cell and start playing Patty Cake with each other.

We resumed our quest and made our way to the Brotherhood's cells. "What kept you?" asked Mystique as Cyclops blasted open her door.

"Actually," I replied, "I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'thank you'."

"I'm not familiar with that one," she answered. I just shook my head as we all started to make our way out of the Vault.

Unfortunately, my concentration had slipped momentarily and Spider-Woman managed to get free of my mental control. She blasted me with her bio-electrical bolt. I could feel the strange energies flowing through my body, mixing somehow with my psionic powers. The skin of my head began to get very hot. Cyclops wheeled me out of the prison and to the X-Buggy. When we reached the X-Jet, I caught a look at myself in a mirror -






This could very well be the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. Looks like I'll have to start waxing my head again. I can't tell you how much I appreciate Master Yoda creating the above approximation of my shame.

11 Comments:

Blogger Vegeta said...

Put spikes in Your'fro and you could look like a Sayian.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

OMG, you came to my college and di d your routine! Man I love all those funny props that you have!

10:12 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That was supposed to be "did." I don't know what happened there.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

I think send that picture to the National Inquisitor I will.

10:36 PM  
Blogger Elisabeth Braddock said...

How Unfortuante about your whole bad hair deal ordeal, professor. As soon as I return to the Mansion, I can fend off the younger students who have natural impulses to braid your new afro locks and buy you your waxing kit so you won't feel embarrased at the local CVS Pharmacy.

However, upon learning that you are gotten into a fight with the new avengers makes me long for home even more. I believe that it would have been a more interesting dual if it were Captain American against Captain Britian II. I would have surely kicked some serious butt before that stupid spider nerd laid one of those ridulous hairy fingers on me.

Pray for me, dear Xavier, that I may survive here in England for Thanksgiving without ruining another holiday again. (Please do not bring up the New Years incident, I still regret that I puked on the danger room control board. It was so Wolverine's Fault!)

Luv, Elisabeth Braddock

10:45 PM  
Blogger frozentear said...

Spider-woman sure knew what she was doing.
Ha ha.

7:09 AM  
Blogger Jean Grey-Summers said...

Wow. It's almost as red as mine.... I'm almost on my way back as well. I don't think I'll be able to be home for Thanksgiving though. Oh well. Brian and Meggan have invited me to join them. I love these people!

-Jean

8:34 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

These superhero tems are always squabbling!

3:41 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

The afro is definitely going. Being mistaken for Carrott Top was the last straw.

I'm glad to hear that you will be coming back to the mansion soon, Elisabeth. Hopefully you can restore some order to this zoo.

And in case you don't make it back by Thursday, Emma, Happy Thanksgiving!

4:01 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

And Elisabeth, I love the layout of your blog. Very stylish. But I'v been having trouble adding a comment. Whenever I click on the word "comment" at the bottom it just takes me back to the post.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Elisabeth Braddock said...

Yes, I noticed that my comment was having some trouble. Well the person I paid to get it done evidently made it all rubbish, so I 'persuaded' him to fix it and he also gave me a new layout that is better. I can't wait to get back to the mansion, so that way better people can show me how to do all this computer stuff. I maybe psychic, but not as smart as some other people I know.

8:52 PM  

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