The fact is, I didn't really need to take any of them on this mission. I could just use my psionic powers to take over the minds of all the guards at the Vault. Cyclops has been so eager to lead though, I thought this might be a nice opportunity for him. And Wolverine must be kept busy or he'll end up destroying all the furniture at the school.
When we reached the prison, the team immediately sprung into action. Beast quickly climbed up the right security tower and jumped between the two guards on the observation platform. Before they had a chance to react, he had smashed their heads together, sending them into dreamland.
Nightcrawler teleported onto the top of the left tower and did something similar to the two guards there. Meanwhile, Cyclops blasted the security cameras above the front door. Once the coast was clear, Colossus changed to his organic steel form and charged at the front door. He easily ripped it from its hinges and tossed it across the yard. This had the unfortunate consequence of setting off the alarms.
This, of course, did not deter Wolverine. He charged straight through the now open door. We all followed. We made our way quickly to Sector B, where the Brotherhood mutants were being held. Surprisingly, we encountered no resistance. At least, not until we reached the main gate to Sector B.
Standing between us and the Brotherhood's cells was US Agent, the head of security for the Vault. Standing behind him were the New Avengers.
"Let's kill these mutie scum!" snarled US Agent.
"Wait a second, son," said Captain America as he stepped next to him. "Wolverine, you're one of us now. Why don't you come stand over here?"
Power Man nodded supportively at him and Spider-Woman arched her back, causing her ample breasts to lift up high. If anything was going to make Wolverine betray us, it was that. Breasts are his kryptonite.
"Sorry Cap, I'm an X-Man first, last and always," Wolverine said. "The New Avengers is an alright weekend gig to kill some time, but this is my family."
Captain America just nodded. The room grew quiet as everyone tensed. Both teams were ready to strike. Telepathically, I told Wolverine that this was his chance.
Gleefully, he jumped into Colossus arms. "Fast-ball Special!!" he yelled, as Colossus tossed him forcefully at Iron Man. With his adamantium claws out, Wolverine sliced through the main power regulator's in Iron Man's chest plate. He never had a chance to defend himself. Smoke and sparks started flying out of his suit.
Unfortunately for Wolverine, he landed in Power Man's arms. "We gonna try that again!" shouted Luke Cage as he threw him with all his might back at Colossus. Peter caught Logan without any problem and threw him back at Cage. This time, Wolverine had his claws straight out in front of him, aimed straight for Cage's chest.
Mere inches from impact, Spider-Man's webbing caught Wolverine and pulled him back. Spider-Man started slinging Logan around over his head before releasing his web rope, sending Wolverine flying across the room.
Meanwhile, Captain America threw his shield at Colossus head. Cyclops managed to deflect the shield with an optic blast just moments before being hit by a bio-electric "venom blast" from Spider-Woman. Colossus picked up the shield and threw it with all his might into the ceiling where it became deeply embedded.
Beast had leapt at Spider-Man and the two of them were now bouncing off the walls, swinging and kicking at each other without either having much luck landing a blow. Nightcrawler had teleported behind US Agent and was trying to kick him, but the Agent was just too fast.
"Enough," I said. Gathering my mental energies I took over the minds of the New Avengers. The first thing I did was have Captain America give a strong right hook to US Agent. That racist, fascist pig really bothers me. Then I had them enter an empty cell and start playing Patty Cake with each other.
We resumed our quest and made our way to the Brotherhood's cells. "What kept you?" asked Mystique as Cyclops blasted open her door.
"Actually," I replied, "I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'thank you'."
"I'm not familiar with that one," she answered. I just shook my head as we all started to make our way out of the Vault.
Unfortunately, my concentration had slipped momentarily and Spider-Woman managed to get free of my mental control. She blasted me with her bio-electrical bolt. I could feel the strange energies flowing through my body, mixing somehow with my psionic powers. The skin of my head began to get very hot. Cyclops wheeled me out of the prison and to the X-Buggy. When we reached the X-Jet, I caught a look at myself in a mirror -
This could very well be the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. Looks like I'll have to start waxing my head again. I can't tell you how much I appreciate Master Yoda creating the above approximation of my shame.