Wednesday, May 21, 2008

"Xavier, my ship has been seriously damaged by that raging sociopath, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. Unfortunately for you, this means I must use your disembodied brain for spare parts. Your grey matter will have to replace the logic board that drives the ship. As I said, this is unfortunate for you because it means your consciousness will be destroyed."

This was Nemonok talking. He is definitely one of the most evil beings I have ever met. He has stolen my brain and kidnapped me. We are now stranded somewhere on the outer rim of our solar system.

"Nothing personal, you understand," Nemonok continued. "I rather enjoyed our little road trip. Ah well. Goodbye."

Telekenetically, I'm assuming, Nemonok flipped switches and a mechanical arm emerged from the control panel and grasped onto the top of the jar my brain was encased in. It removed the lid to the jar. Tossing it aside, the arm then reached into the bottle, it's long metal fingers stretching around my brain.

They say there are no nerve endings in the brain. They also say that you shouldn't drink and drive or hit on your hot female employees. They say a lot of stupid things.

I could feel the cold metal arms lifting my brain out of the jar. It swung me around and moved me towards the computer bank in the control board. A panel slid open and the arm lowered me inside. I could feel wires and pads press against my grey matter, attaching themselves to me. It was rather icky.

"Goodbye, Xavier," Nemonok said with an unmistakably gloating tone. "I wish you well on your journey to the after life."

I waited, expecting to feel my life force slip away as my consciousness dissolved into the ethereal nothingness.

It didn't happen. I felt just fine, for a disembodied head, anyway. I could also feel the entire ship around me, connected to me. All the controls and circuits and functions, all awaiting my instruction. Nemonok began to flip various switches, obviously trying to pilot the ship somewhere. I disconnected his controls.

"What is this?" he spat. Figuratively, of course. "Why isn't this damn thing working?!" He began to cause the switches to flip back and forth furiously. "It's that damn Xavier's weak brain! And here I had thought he was actually an intellect somewhat near to my own capacity. Blast it!"

"No need to call me names, Nemo," I thought at him. "My brain is working just fine and I am in harmony with the ship. Just relax."

Nemonok made the oddest sound I had ever heard. It sounded vaguely like he was gargling while ordering pizza. He then tried to direct the mechanical arm to remove me from the logic control module. I disabled that too.

"Fine!' he shouted. "But you have won nothing! This ship is still disabled and not going anywhere. Without your precious life-giving fluids in your brain jar, you will be a dead husk in minutes! Your only choice is to return to the jar and then I will once again be in total control!"

Suddenly the ship started shuddering. On the viewer, a giant green ship appeared. It was a Shi'Ar battle cruiser.



26 Comments:

Blogger captain koma said...

Ok!

When do the other heroes show up???

9:03 PM  
Blogger Dr. Nemonok said...

The Shi'Ars?

Oh I hate those feathery bastards.

6:58 AM  
Blogger Galen said...

I would unhitch myself before I died Prof

2:49 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Talk about being in a difficult situation!

3:13 PM  
Blogger Nepharia said...

Um, I don't even want to think about the mental picture of your brain being hooked up to a ship. Please, Xavier, get back in the jar. Or, destroy the Shi'Ar battle cruiser, then get back in the jar. :D

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Ghost of SHI said...

Two Jar Brains



so does Jon have his Jar head?

6:56 AM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

:D Great read!

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not spending superfluous words.

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You realize, in told...

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sheeltfeads, clomid online Voriannonfode, [url=http://www.webjam.com/clomidonline]buy clomid[/url] Ploplalualk
23

11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

woodsesty, levitra online, DinoEndorgo, http://virb.com/levitraonline levitra online, twepitiencisy, order levitra, thaccumence, http://www.protopage.com/orderlevitra levitra

12:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

chararorylarp, buy zyrtec, Carardykats, [url=http://www.webjam.com/zyrteconline]zyrtec[/url], Glaccerve

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TexanyThync, viagra tramadol zithromax carisoprodol buy cialis, piluerryMer

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Verduekssem, propecia online, spancenus, [url=http://virb.com/propeciaonline]propecia[/url]

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good morning

We do not agree with this year BRIT awards 2010 decision.

Please visit our little survey

http://micropoll.com/t/KDqOnZBCWt

Lady Gaga can not be better than Madonna

Poll supported by BRIT awards 2010 sponsor femmestyle
[url=http://www.femmestyle.li/brustvergroesserung/preis.html]brustvergr├Â├čerung preis[/url]

Pet Shop Boys surprise lucky BRITs fan with a MasterCard Priceless Gig in their living room

12:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NottSoona, http://buy-viagra.viviti.com/ buy viagra, Emorneror, buy viagra, FlalgeWheerve, http://vigrx.viviti.com/ vigrx, fluerderwal, vigrx, uttequich, http://proextender.viviti.com/ penis enlargement, Baharonsrah, penis enlargement, Snagimmaphgax

4:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonknorge, http://forum.dotnetpanel.com/members/valium.aspx, GonteeneProky, byt valium online, lowlHetuela

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonknorge, http://forum.dotnetpanel.com/members/valium.aspx, GonteeneProky, byt valium online, lowlHetuela

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonknorge, http://forum.dotnetpanel.com/members/valium.aspx, GonteeneProky, valium online, lowlHetuela

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HeenseFlannenhttp://pettags.com/forum/members/BuyXanaxOnline.aspx xanax, Emicysime, http://pettags.com/forum/members/BuyPhentermineOnlineUSApprovedPharmacy.aspx, RahRoaday, http://pettags.com/forum/members/Soma-Without-Prescription-Overnight-Shipping.aspx, darlliakrew, http://pettags.com/forum/members/valium-Cheap-Valium-Buy-Valium-Online.aspx, Insowsjaw, byu xanax online, ownererry, byu Phentermine online, AsydayPal, soma, AboneeVek

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HeenseFlannenhttp://pettags.com/forum/members/BuyXanaxOnline.aspx xanax, Emicysime, http://pettags.com/forum/members/BuyPhentermineOnlineUSApprovedPharmacy.aspx, RahRoaday, http://pettags.com/forum/members/Soma-Without-Prescription-Overnight-Shipping.aspx, darlliakrew, http://pettags.com/forum/members/valium-Cheap-Valium-Buy-Valium-Online.aspx, Insowsjaw, xanax, ownererry, byu Phentermine online, AsydayPal, soma online, AboneeVek

5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HeenseFlannenhttp://pettags.com/forum/members/BuyXanaxOnline.aspx xanax, Emicysime, http://pettags.com/forum/members/BuyPhentermineOnlineUSApprovedPharmacy.aspx, RahRoaday, http://pettags.com/forum/members/Soma-Without-Prescription-Overnight-Shipping.aspx, darlliakrew, http://pettags.com/forum/members/valium-Cheap-Valium-Buy-Valium-Online.aspx, Insowsjaw, byu xanax online, ownererry, Phentermine online, AsydayPal, buy soma online, AboneeVek

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

estaliBriesty, tramadol cheapest, bealiaVet, buy cheap tramadol, Hifavamom, order tramadol nex day delivery, dofafforp, tramadol online, MatBultapetle

5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

estaliBriesty, tramadol, bealiaVet, cheap tramadol, Hifavamom, order tramadol nex day delivery, dofafforp, tramadol online, MatBultapetle

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

estaliBriesty, tramadol, bealiaVet, cheap tramadol, Hifavamom, order tramadol, dofafforp, byu tramadol online, MatBultapetle

9:59 PM  
Blogger valfrid said...

Thanks to give us the wonderful information about the Solar panels training...

12:40 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Counters