Thursday, May 08, 2008

As you might imagine, it was rather disconcerting to find that I had been reduced to merely a brain by the evil Dr. Nemonok. Of course my brain is my most important feature, but knew that before long I'd start to miss my other great features. Particularly my penis. Yes, I'd have to get my body back.

Fortunately my psionic abilities seemed to be undisturbed. Concentrating, I sent my astral projection out into the ether. Within minutes I was back at the school. I was mildly distressed to find that my body was not in the study where I left it. Doing a quick sweep through the school I found myself down in the med lab.

Captain Koma of all people was doing something near my head. Storm and a female robot stood nearby. Wolverine sat on a stool with an ice pack on his crotch for some reason. His cold stare was boring into the back of Koma's head like he was trying to vaporize it by the force of his will. Cyclops was standing off to the side.

"Scott," I thought to him.

"Huh?" he said outloud, his head whipping around frantically.

"Scott, it's me Professor Xavier."

"Professor?!" he shouted.

"Shut up, you idiot!" Storm yelled. "He can't hear you. He has no brain!"

Scott looked very confused.

"I am with you Scott," I told him. "You don't have to speak."

"Are . . are you a ghost?" he asked.

"Of course not! I'm not dead."

"But then how can I hear you?"

"I'm a telepath! I'm talking to you with my mind."

"Talking with your mind?"

"You are my first student! You've been with me for years! I'm a telepath! I communicate by thoughts! I can read your mind and put my words into your mind. You know this!"

"Wait a minute . . you can read my mind?"

Did Nemonok steal Cyclops' mind, too? "You can't possibly be this dense," I said. "Of course I can read your mind."

"Then, uh, you know about that thing with the donkey?"

Sigh. After a long pause, I resumed, "This isn't the time to discuss your deviant proclivities. What I need is for you to gather the X-Men and have them bring my body to my location. You will need Beast, Jean and Forge in order to-"

"I did!" Koma suddenly shouted.

Everyone turned their attention to my body. Slowly . . stiffly . . it rose off the table.


Blogger captain koma said...

Look at me I'm doing stuff thats only done on Star Trek.

Eat that Bones!

And Chroma still hates being thought of as a robot, fem-bot, or sex-bot.

She's real and so are her fists.

10:23 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wait a minute, how come when you have abrain, you're paralized from the waist down but when it's gone, you're bosy can walk fine? whatzupwitdat?

6:45 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

It sounds like Ygor and the Frankenstein monster.

2:31 PM  
Blogger TX said...



7:55 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

Wait, rewind. You're a can't feel anything from the waist down. So any great features past there...are...well...worthless.
Unless you're a fake cripple in which case I owe Conner a buck.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Nepharia said...

Maybe Koma was able to use his amazing power to make the muscles do something that Xavier's nervous system could not? Or maybe I just need to go have another beer to clear my head.

8:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you wanted to lose weight prof you should've gone on biggest loser.

4:21 AM  

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