Mystique and her partner, Zartan, along with his crew, the Drednoks, had me surrounded, their weapons pointed right at me. Unfortunately the psi-blockers they each wore prevented me from using my powers to attack them.

"Time to die Xavier!" she shouted.

"Wait!" I screamed. "Xavier? I'm not Xavier! I'm just an actor! My name is Patrick Stewart! I'm just researching a part!"

"Bull crap!" snarled Zartan.

"It's true! I am Patrick Stewart! Wait, watch this. 'Number One . . make it so.' See?"

"What the hell is that suppose to be?" asked Mystique.

"That's me as Captain Picard. You know, from Star Trek? It's my other big sci-fi acting role."

"Well I seen that show, mate," said the Drednok named Ripper. "An' you don't sound like 'im at all."

"Well I, er, that is they, um, mix my voice in the studio so it, um, sounds different. Yes, that's what it is."

"Okay, mate," said Torch. "So what was the name ah your character in Life Force?"

"Life Force?" I asked.

"Yeah, you know. The one with that hot naked alien vampire chick walkin' around."

"Oh, of course. Yes. Um, my name was, er, John Smith?"

The Drednoks looked at each and shrugged.

"Well I don't actually remember your name," said Torch, "but I doubt that was it."

Zartan snapped his fingers. "What Duke did you play in Excalibur??" he practically shouted.

"Er . . Cornwall?" I answered.

"Wrong!" he roared. "It was Leondegrance! Ha!"

"Oh, uh, that's what I meant. It's been awhile."

"If you are Stewart," started Mystique with an evil smirk, "then get up out of that chair and walk over to me."

"Um . . I'd like to but, um, well . . both my feet seem to have fallen asleep. Occupational hazard."

"Hey Charles!" Buzzer shouted from behind me.

"What?" I asked turning around. The whole group began laughing.

"Damn!"

"Alright everyone," Mystique announced, "fire on three! One . . . two . . ."