Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I woke up this morning to chirping birds and the arousing smell of lavender. As I rolled over to give Maggie a kiss, the phone rang.

"Damn!" Maggie just giggled at my annoyance.

"Yes?" I said into the phone, not disguising my frustration.

"Professor! You've got to come back!" It was Cyclops. He sounded hysterical. I've been at the Last Gladiator Standing house for less than 24 hours now.

"What is it Scott?" I asked with impatience.

"Everything's going crazy! Storm went ballistic when she found out you put me in charge. She blew the roof off the boy's dormitory. Wolverine called me all sorts of horrible names and then he moved out. *choke* It was terrible! I don't think I can take anymore!"

Sigh. "Stop crying Scott. Scott! Stop crying this instant. You are an X-Men for Heaven's sake! You must set an example for the students!"

"B-but P-professor, I *sob* I don't . . "

"Scott! Pull yourself together! You are the leader. You must-"

"They all hate me! They won't listen to me! The kids tossed all of my underwear up into the trees! They have no respect for me! I don't know what to do!!"

"Okay, Scott. I will tell you my secret. Are you ready?"

"Y-yes . . "

"Go into my office. Open the cabinet behind my desk. The key is taped under the lefthand bottom drawer. Take out a bottle of cognac. Pour yourself a very tall drink. In fact, drink two. Suddenly everything else will seem far less important. All your troubles will seem far away and the world will seem like a happy place."

"You think that will work?"

"Trust me."

6 Comments:

Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Dear sir,

It's seems ,that Cyclop's pair would haved dropped by now. What is wrong with him? Dental for all.


Dr.Polaris rules.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

432, have you seen how tight Scott's X-Men outfit is? Of course they haven't dropped yet. The guy must paint his pants on.

Good advice, Prof, though I'm surprised that the students would want anything to do with Scott's underoos

12:28 AM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

Unplug the phone and come back to bed

9:23 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

He called Hacknor from earth?

Man, what are the charges for something like that?

9:10 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I was able to get an amazing deal from AT&T interstellar calls. They charge me a very low flat rate and I don't send Wolverine over to their headquarters to do what he does.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Cardboard Knight said...

Hey, I never read your blog. But now I did read some! ITS PRETTY FUNNY!!!

7:09 PM  

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