Somehow, Wolverine has talked me into hosting another Amazing Mutant Race. Looking back I realize that I had given in too easily. Ah well. At least this should keep him out of my hair for a bit. So to speak.
This afternoon, after having several stiff belts of my favorite brand of cognac, I waited on the front lawn of the school for the last of the teams to arrive. Most of the players in our little contest had already arrived. Vegeta and his hetero life-mate, Son Goku were standing next to Wolverine and Colossus. "I am going to get you back for that 'rube' crack, Wolverine," Vegeta told him. "Just thought you'd like to know."
"Yeah? Bring it on, bub. By the way, nice hair." You didn't need to be a mind-reader to see Vegeta bristle.
Just as he started to move towards Wolverine though, a loud howling sound suddenly roared through the air. Everyone turned to see Private Hudson flat on his back, rubbing his jaw. Emma Frost stood over him, shaking her fist in his face. "If you ever touch me again, worm, you won't be getting up."
Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator was standing a few feet away from his sprawled partner, stifling his laugh. Deadpool, who was leaning on Jon's shoulder, was doubled over. His teammate, Cable just shook his head.
"I could have told you that you were wasting your time with her," Deadpool told Hudson. "She's what we call finicky."
Emma turned to her companion, Selene, and the two ladies walked away. "Those two are old friend's from the Hellfire Club," Deadpool told Jon. "Well, maybe friends is the wrong word."
"What do you think, do I have a shot with a babe like that?" the Cardboard Knight asked Superhero Bob, his assigned partner.
"Kid," she replied, "while I must say that paper armor of yours is mighty impressive, I really don't think it's going to do much for a high rent woman like that."
The Knight looked disappointed, but then after a moment he brightened up. "Well, what about you? Do you dig guys with big swords?"
Superhero Bob looked at him for a long moment before she replied. "Kid, I think we should focus on the race."
Just then, two bright columns of twinkling lights started to appear in our midst. All eyes turned to watch as shapes began to form in the columns. Soon two people were standing in front of us. It was Captain Picard and his Lieutenant Data.
"Greetings Jean Luc. Very nice to see you again."
"Thank you, Charles. You are looking well."
"I see you decided not to go with the marching band uniform today."
"Yes. That was actually my dress uniform which I wear on special occasions, such as hosting foreign dignitaries at the annual Enterprise Christmas party. This is my day to day suit."
"You know I had a bit of trouble getting home after that X-Mas party. Apparently your transporter had some kind of malfunction."
"I had heard. Sorry about -"
"Hey!" interrupted Wolverine. "Can we get on with this already?"
"We are still waiting for one last group," I told him.
As if on cue, a small spacecraft suddenly zipped into view over our heads. The ship, a kind of box with long wings sticking out of the sides, rapidly descended to the ground before quickly breaking. As it hovered a few feet above the earth, landing gear retracted and then a door in the side slide open. Out hobbled a short green . . person. At his side was a rather tall beautiful young woman.
"Master Yoda, I am," the green creature said, his very long, wrinkly ears quivering slightly. "And Lieutenant Commander Oneida, this is." As Yoda gestured to the woman next to him, she took a quick bow.
"I am really looking forward to this, Professor," Oneida said. "Thanks so much for letting us play."
"I hope your journey wasn't too arduous."
"Actually no. There is a rather convenient worm hole in your sector we were able to warp to."
"Oh man," Wolverine said as he walked over to us. "I bet this little green guy is the first one out!"
"Call me 'little' do you? Size matters not. Kick your ass, we will."
"Um, yes," I quickly said, wheeling between them. "And now that we are all here, the race is ready to begin. Please everyone, take your places on the starter line."
I watched as each of the two man teams lined up in a row between the flags that had been put into place. Gaia, my right hand man in setting up this entire event, lifted an air horn high above her head and tapped it once. A loud blast ripped through the air and everyone charged forward as one, rushing to clues hanging off the posts a few dozen yards away.
The race was on!