Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Things got a little crazy at the premier of Deadpool's new television show last night. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. There is always going to be an air of chaos surrounding everything that Wade does. There's no reason why a Hollywood premier should be any different. Before the show had even started, Emma and Jean had teamed up to beat on poor Scott. I don't know how that boy thinks he can be a player, keeping two alpha females like that satisfied. It's no surprise he got his rump handed to him.

Deadpool's show is called "Deadpool The Ever-loving Speedo Wearing Mercenary who at times is a little loose with Language." Personally, that seems a little long for the title of a television show, but then again I don't have any broadcasting experience, so what do I know.

The show itself was actually quite funny. In one sketch, Betty White, the co-star of the show, agrees to babysit her neighbor's child, and it turns out to be Deadpool wearing only a diaper. At first his charred skin was a little disturbing but pretty soon you don't even notice it. Deadpool, playing an infant, gets into all sorts of high jinx. He knocks over a plant, making a mess on the carpet, inadvertently locks the cat in the dishwasher and gets the cookie jar down from the top shelf with a .44 Magnum. Who knew he had such comedic talent?

The part of the evening I couldn't stand was all of the locals. You might be surprised to hear this but Hollywood types can be rather phony. And they were everywhere. Each more vapid than the next. It took Gaia and I forever just to get into the theater because the blond bimbo with inflatable breasts in front of us insisted on stopping and twirling for each and every camera.

And the worst part was that my wheelchair got caught on a giant wad of still juicy gum on the theater floor. Some people are just so inconsiderate. What sort of Neanderthal would spit his gum in the middle of an aisle like that? Fortunately Gaia was able to dissolve the chewy wad with her powers. She is quite resourceful. During the show she told me how she came by her stunning dress. You can read about it here.

After the show I went over to congratulate Deadpool but oddly enough he was having some rather harsh words with the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think Arnold, after playing a mercenary in all those movies, may have been jealous upon meeting the real thing.

I had been planning to return to Westchester right away, but I realized that while I was on the West Coast, there was some personal business I wanted to resolve.


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Ha ha ha ha ha, Deadpool in a diaper and the comedy stylings of Betty White! It's a smash for sure.

And, uh, I'd like to thank the writers for not reversing the roles.

11:20 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Dead pool's show gave kakarot Nightmares, It was great !I didn't go to the premire but I sent Midget named Krillian in there with a camera. Deadpool would approve.

12:45 AM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Inflatable breasts always make me think of those reebok sneakers that were so popular in the early '90's, I think they were reebok, the air pump up ones.

Anyhoo, I'm with you, Scott is very out matched with just one of those ladies. But, hey, at least he's an optimist about it all.

3:37 AM  
Blogger Captain Berk said...

I didn't go because I was busy destroying Klingons.

I had a particularly powerful curry and Spock made me scrape them off the staff toilets.

I owe him, so I couldn't defer the task

6:44 AM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

The next Benny Hill, Deadpool could be.

Been waiting a long time for someone to fill the void left by Benny Hill, the world has.

9:15 AM  
Blogger Cable said...

Sadly I see Deadpool in his diaper on a daily basis. :( And compliments on the date Professor.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Maybe Deadpool can be in a 'Golden Girls' revival?

3:32 PM  

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