Sunday, January 01, 2006

The six remaining teams assembled in the main hall of Dormammu's castle. A few of the players looked quite the worse for wear. Son Goku was clutching his head, the victim of a serious hang-over. Deadpool and Cable had also apparently had a very long night. Wolverine, still recovering from the Force Wedgie inflicted upon him by Master Yoda, was walking bow legged.

Gaia addressed the group. "Okay, now that we're all here, Emma and Selene may approach the Dread Dormammu and receive their next clue."

The two women, normally the definition of pose, confidence and assuredness, looked visibly nervous as they neared the giant flaming-headed demon. He held out a large blue globe towards them. A small light was blinking on the bottom of it. As the ladies peered closer into the orb, they began to make out shapes.

"It's the Earth!" blurted Emma with sudden revelation.

Dormammu's dark booming voice filled the cavernous hall, echoing off the stone. "Walk through the fires of Hell and find your relief." He pointed to the far wall and it burst into flames.

"No problem," said Emma, changing into her organic diamond form. She ran and jumped through the flames. Selene, using her power of short bursts of super-speed, quickly followed.

As they emerged from the fire, they knew instantly they were no longer on Dormammu's plane. All around them was a frozen waste land of snow and ice. A few hundred yards ahead they saw sleds and teams of dogs.

"Fortunately for me, when I'm in my diamond form, I can't feel the cold. Looks like you aren't as lucky, my dear," Emma said to Selene.

Suddenly her tight, revealing outfit seemed like a real liability. Using another burst of super-speed, she sprinted to the sleds. To her relief, there were large wooly coats and boots which she quickly started to put on.

"Careful, my dear, you'll use up all your energy running like that," Emma taunted.

"That won't be a problem, dear. I can always drain one of the dogs."

"Holy crap it's cold!" they heard someone yell from behind them. Turning, the women saw Deadpool, his costume smoking slightly, and Cable emerge from the dimensional portal. The men started to run towards them. Without a word, the women hopped on one of the sleds and urged the dogs forward.

"Hey!" Deadpool shouted after them. "Wait up, baby! I thought of a way we could stay warm!"

"Shall I fry him with a fireball?" Selene asked.

"What's the point? The little freak has Wolverine's healing factor. And we don't really want to make Cable mad at this point. He is quite powerful, you know."

"Well then, do you have any idea where we are going?"

Emma held up the clue hanging from the sled's steering bar. And they swooshed over the snow, she opened it and read outloud, "Seek the fruits from the Lord of Land and deliver it to the Master."

"Well that's not too cryptic," commented Selene.

"That's all right. There's only one place of interest in Antartica and that's the Savage Land."

"What makes you think we're in Antartica?"

"Why my dear," Emma smirked, "didn't you see that flashing light on the South Pole of Dormammu's globe? Savage Land dead ahead."

The other teams all emerged one by one from the portal. Most jumped on sleds. Vegeta and Son Goku chose however to fly. After a few miles of barren tundra, Goku moved up next to Vegeta. "Where do you think they're going?" he asked, pointing down to the column of sleds moving single file over the snow.

"I don't know," the Sayian Prince replied.

"Do you think there was a clue on those sleds?" Goku asked.

"I don't know," Vegeta responded with growing annoyance.

"Do you think we should go back and check?" Goku persisted.

"I think, Kakarot, you should stop asking so many damn questions!"

Down below, Lieutenant Commander Oneida, driving the last sled, turned to her partner, Master Yoda, and said, "I think we're losing."

"Worry not, you should. Heard the Jedi proverb of the Bantha and the Taun-taun, have you not? Win the race, the faster beast does not always."

The teams trekked on, holding the same formation as they approached the entrance to the Savage Land. When Emma and Selene reached the gateway to the land, they found they had to ditch their sleds to enter the thick jungle.

"They can't really mean for us to walk all the way to Kazar's place?" Selene moaned.

"There's no point in whining about it, my dear." Emma ditched her coat and started marching though the heavy jungle undergrowth.

Not long after, Deadpool and Cable made it to the tree line. "Well this sucks," Deadpool announced. "Where's Bea Arthur when you need her? She was always good for chewing up scenery."

"I never understood what that expression meant," Cable replied.

"Oh, that's just how us entertainment insiders talk. You know, Hollywood jargon. It means she eats trees and stuff."

"Yeah, that makes sense," Cable said sarcastically.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator and Private Hudson were the next to arrive, followed closely by Wolverine and Colossus. Vegeta, who had been flying over Wolverine, decided this was his moment to strike.

"Comrade!" Colossus shouted. Wolverine spun around just in time to see Vegeta smash feet first into his chest.

"Time for me to teach you some manners, jerkwad!" the prince shouted as Wolverine went flying into the trunk of a large palm tree.

Colossus rushed to his partner's side, his body turning to organic steel as he moved. Son Goku leapt at him, shouting "Jan Ken Gu." He smacked into Colossus with such a powerful attack that the Russian was knocked flat on his back. Wolverine popped his claws with a loud "snnikkt" and charged at Vegeta.

As the four mighty fighters locked into mortal combat, Yoda and Oneida snuck around them.

"See you do, why the Bantha wins the race!" Yoda proclaimed.

The ferocious battle raged on as the first team reached the home of Kazar, Lord of the Savage Land. Emma entered his hut to find Gaia standing next to the jungle king.

"I like the outfit," Selene purred upon seeing Kazar's muscular body clad only in a loin cloth.

"My lady," he said as he presented her with a strange looking red fruit. "This is the Lapidano. It is only found in the Savage Land."

"Wonderful," Emma answered unenthusiastically.

Suddenly Deadpool came crashing through the hut, tumbling head over heel. "Whoops! Watch that first step, it's a doozy!"

"Pathetic," Emma scowled as she stepped over his body. She and Selene exited the hut.

"Hey, so I made a mistake!" Deadpool shouted after them. "It's not like you guys are perfect, you know!"

"Woman problems?" Jon asked as he and Hudson walked into the hut.

"Yeah, those chicks don't know what they're missing," Wade replied as he watched Jon take a fruit from Kazar. "Hey! We were next!"

"Sorry man," Hudson said. "You snooze you lose." The two hurried off after the women.

Grabbing a fruit, Cable shook his head. "She was right. You are pathetic, you know that?"

"Yeah, but I have a winning smile."

"Who could tell? You wear a full face mask."

Oneida came jogging up to the hut as Deadpool and Cable walked out. Yoda was sitting in a make-shift pouch strapped to her back. They soon left with their own fruit. As the teams made their way back through the jungle towards the Brotherhood of Mutants base, the fourway battle between Wolverine and Vegeta's groups raged on.

A solid rounding kick sent Logan hurtling into Colossus' back. Wiping a trace of blood from the corner of his mouth, he said, "Okay Petey, I'm takin' the gloves off. It's time for the old Fast-Ball Special."

Colossus lifted up his partner and pulled back. With great force, he launched Wolverine, claws slicing the air in front of him, straight towards Vegeta. Mere seconds from certain death, Vegeta, at the last possible moment, leapt forward, tumbling just under Wolverine's reach. His claws sunk to the knuckle into the hard wood of a thick jungle tree. Logan tried to pull his hands free but he was stuck.

"Ah ha!" shouted Vegeta triumphantly. "I would tell you what an honor it has been fighting such a brave foe, but you are a worthless loser, so forget it! Come on Kakarot!"

Racing to his side, Son Goku leapt into the air and soon the two were flying over the tree tops in the direction the other teams had taken. Colossus ripped the tree in which Wolverine was stuck in half. The two raced at their best speed towards Kazar's but by the time they got there, Vegeta and Goku were long gone.

When Wolverine and Colossus finally reached Magneto's base, the other players were all standing around with Gaia. Vegeta was smirking.

Gaia looked at the two new arrivals and said, "Logan . . Peter . .
you-"

"Wait a minute, Gaia," interrupted Magneto. "I would like the pleasure of this moment." Gaia nodded. Magneto continued. "Wolverine, you irritating, over-rated, over-exposed, has-been - you're fired!"

Deadpool stepped up to Magneto. "Um, excuse me, but that's the wrong show, helmet head."

Magneto casted a withering stare at Wade. "Whatever. He's lost and he's out of here."

"Right," said Gaia. "Sorry Logan. The rest of you have reached the last leg for today and we'll be staying here tonight. Emma and Selene, you won again so you'll be leaving first."

10 Comments:

Blogger Jean Grey-Summers said...

Lovely!

Smashing!

Go Cable!

Charles, I would love to be a part of this, you know, before I join Apocalypse.

If I still do. Watching all this running around makes me rethink the destruction of all life.

11:09 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

This has been a great series, I should have known Hudson might actually be handy.

I'm still waiting for the perfect opportunity to use my powers of barking like a dog.

11:41 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Soon Jon, soon. And if it makes you feel better, my powers of clone control hasn't been very handy either.

And I'm excited, Master Yoda and I did well.

Though I'm surprised that Emma and Selene have done so well together, though I suppose it helps that Selene is a good follower of Emma leadership.

2:56 AM  
Blogger Selene said...

Emma's LEADERSHIP! Um....let me make it know that I can match ANY power that she has...I mean really....not even I can remember all the powers I posses...

3:23 AM  
Blogger Vampirella said...

Good going :)
Sorry Wolverine
Can't wait to see who gets outted next


I am still cheering Oneida on

4:55 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

I have got my money on Oneida & Yoda.

5:30 AM  
Anonymous wolverine said...

This sucks! The whole thing was my damn idea! I want a re-match!

5:58 AM  
Blogger Cable said...

Thank god those two are out. Peter kept on telling me how he liked underaged girls and I find it out that Wolverine always says aboot instead of about.

I'm really enjoying this Professor.

12:28 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Sorry Selene, it just seems that when they do the recap, it always sounds like Emma is incharge, but that could just be how they see it, maybe you can control Emma and just make it seem like she's in charge, this is all very new to me.

And I'm flattered people are cheering for Master Yoda and myself, thank you :)

Though part of me sees Jon and Hudson being the surprise winners, you never know

1:00 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

alright Wolverine How about this I fight Sabertooth and you fight one of my planet destrying enemies let's say hmmmmm Majin Buu who beats the other's enemy fastest wins.

1:06 PM  

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