Wednesday, March 29, 2006

"But Professor, think of what a cure would mean for a mutant like me!" Beast whinned. "I would be able to walk down the street like a normal person. No more weird stares. No gasps of shock. No cries of fear. I would be just like everybody else."

"I understand Hank, and that would certainly be your choice if this 'cure' is actually offered. But you have to understand what you would be giving up. Your power. Your uniqueness. You would be just like everybody else. We would be nothing but a planet of Romulans."

"But I'm a freak! I'm a big blue furry -"

The ringing phone cut him off, thank goodness. I certainly do appreciate Beast's many talents but his going on and on about his insecurities is more than a mortal man can take.

"Excuse me, Hank," I said as I picked up the receiver. "Hello? Hello?"

After a moment of silence, the line went dead. Telepathically I had felt Vampirella on the other end of the phone. Clearly there was something important she wanted to tell me, but she was too nervous to do so. Our affair, though brief, was quite intense and passionate. I suppose we never really talked about where things were going. We just sort of stopped at some point. Maybe she wanted to talk about that, especially now that I have begun seeing her friend Magdalena.

Or maybe it has something to do with those little love bites she had given me. Maybe she was calling to tell me that I'm about to turn into a vampire. I knew it! She's turned me into a vampire! I'm going to be one of the undead! Oh no!!

"Hank, please excuse me. There is something very important I have to take care of."

"But Professor, I-"

"Out!" I bellowed. Beast scampered away at top speed.

I dialed Vampirella's number. After several rings she picked up. .

"Charles," she said.

"You hung up. What - wait a minute - I can sense another."

"Yes . . I'm pregnant. That's why I called."

"Oh." Well that was rather unexpected. "Congrat - oh .. oh .. oh! So, um, you think that I . . um."

"Well it might be Trunks. I started seeing him after you and I . . stopped."

We agreed that we would all take a paternity test. I had Cyclops fly me at top speed in the X-Jet to the hospital nearest Vampirella. I was sweating bullets throughout the whole test. And now there's nothing but the waiting. Oh how I hate waiting.


Blogger Gaia said...

Oh, the drama!

9:13 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Well, Professor, I am certainly not the one to lecture you on matters suh as this. My wife and I got married when we were 7 months pregnant.

10:45 PM  
Blogger Mirai Trunks said...

Waiting is the......

11:06 PM  
Blogger Trunks said...

.....worst part.

11:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

waiting is horrible I agree

7:14 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Now don't go throwing that "M" word around Jon. I'm still paying spousal support to my last wife!

8:06 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

We're all waiting for the news!

11:23 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

I look forward to the upcoming feature film.

Down in front!

3:37 PM  
Blogger Angel said...

Charles! I didn't know you were gonna be a father.

This is most disturbing news. Didn't one of your last kids kill you? Or am I thinking of someone else?

6:47 PM  

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