Tuesday, November 08, 2005

While Gaia and her powerful team are journeying to the Astral Plane to confront the probable source behind Storm's recent sociopathic behavior, Kitty Pryde and I are going to break Magneto out of the new Vault prison for super-powered entities in Virginia. The previous Vault prison was destroyed during a tour given to the royal family of the Inhumans. Whoever arranged for that bridge-building diplomatic mission made the mistake of providing an all-American meal of franks and beans for lunch before hand. This particular food stuff is of course conducive to the production of bodily gases. Basically, Black Bolt burped and knocked the whole structure to the ground. There was a huge melee with the escaping prisoners. Fortunately the Inhumans were on hand and most of the detainees were recaptured.

When Kitty was ready to go on our mission, she met me in the garage of the mansion. She was dressed in her X-Treme X-Men outfit - skimpy black leather and shiny buckles.

"Now Kitty, why on Earth are you wearing that silly Dominatrix costume? That's not very lady like," I scolded.

"We're going on a mission right? There's going to be fighting, right? This is my ass-kicking, taking-names combat gear. The enemy sees this and they wet their pants."

"First of all Kitty, the 'enemy' in this case is the US military. Secondly, there will not be any fighting if I can help it. This is a simple prison break and with our powers, we shouldn't have to confront anyone."

"Why the hell are we breaking Magneto out, anyway? After all the times the X-Men have fought to put him in jail, why do you want him out? I mean, he just tried to destroy the whole planet with nuclear missiles, didn't he?"

"First of all, it's pronounced "nu-clear." Secondly, I am a strong believer in a person's ability to repent. The only way for Eric to make amends for his past transgressions is to be out in the world, free to do charitable acts." I wasn't quite sure she was convinced but I saw no reason to tell her the truth - that I was being extorted into doing this.

I was rather appalled by Kitty's choice in outfit though. Still, it's not as bad as some that she designed for herself. I remember after seeing a Dazzler concert, Kitty created some bizarre multi-hued monstrosity. I quickly put a nix to that.

She was still calling herself Ariel in those days. What a wimpy name that was. She didn't have any code name at all for the longest time but she was jealous of the X-Men with their flashy super-hero handles. She desperately wanted to come up with something and she chose Ariel. How pathetic!

Eventually she re-designed her costume and selected the name Sprite. A bit better but still not the kind of thing likely to set the enemy quaking in their rubber boots.

When I first heard that she had changed her name again, this time to Shadowcat, I wasn't that impressed. But it has grown on me. She has also developed some excellent hand-to-hand fighting skills. Her power may not be of the "shock and awe" variety, but she has really learned to handle herself.

If only I could do something about her taste in fashion. Oh well, maybe this outfit will distract the guards at the Vault at least.


Blogger Vegeta said...

Ok that brightly colered costume hurt my eyes with theunstoppable power of ugly

11:49 PM  
Anonymous the blob said...

And don't forget the time when she walked around with one of the runt's claws taped to her hand!

... and I used't think she was smart!

1:36 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I gotta say that I like the X-Treme outfit much better than the Rainbow Brite one.

She would probably be able distract the guards except I am sure that they have been warned about all the dominatrix outfit-wearing superbeings who are running around.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Send her to Queer Eye For the Mutant you should.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Perhaps the costume will temporarily bling the enemies?

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Emma Frost said...

It seems I may need to have an intervention with our dear Kitten. But then again she does have a bone to pick with me.

If you needed someone to distract the guards, I always have my cell phone on. And I must say, Charles, I would be more effective than that infant.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Jason aka Dark Magician 25 said...

oh dear the White Queen herself has made herself known. Well actually I think Kitty is atleast going in the right direction with her outfit. It looks leather which gives some minor body armor, i stress minor. Plus its ALOT better than what she use to wear.

Now to Ms Frost, I dont doubt for a moment that you would have been a better choice for distracting the guards but Kitty's powers are more ideal for sneaking in and out of a prision created to hold super villians. Plus your more vital to the mission going to the astral plane, the needs of the many and all. Good luck on the Astral Plane, you might need it.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Yes Emma, if Gaia had not recruited you for her mission to the Astral Plane, I might very well have brought you to the Vault with me instead of Kitty.

In addition to some fashion guidance, she also needs some practical mission experience. Hopefully this will be a growth opportunity for her.

9:11 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Counters