Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Wow, that was really something. Dust and I stood face to face with Apocalypse. I was so ready to start kicking his ass. But then Beast turned off the Danger Room program. It's a good thing he did or I would have cracked open a can of whoop-ass on that hologram!

As I lay there in bed thinking about what I would have done, I heard some strange crashing sound in the corridor. The school is pretty deserted right now, what with the Professor off fighting or whatever on Last Gladiator Standing. I got up and went to check it out.

The corridor was pretty dimly lit and the walls were kind of bending in and out like an ocean wave. There was some deep moaning from the end of it. I tried to see but the hall was really smokey.

I started running down the hall towards it but it was like I was moving in molasses. The closer I got, the loader the moaning became. When I finally reached the end of the hall, a brilliant white light flooded everything. I feel on my butt.

The moan turned into a loud rumbling laugh. I looked up. There stood Apocalypse, towering over me.






"Now you die, unworthy worm!" he bellowed.



I screamed like a little girl. Someone grabbed my shoulder and started shaking it. I thrased a bit and then opened my eyes.



"D-dust?" I asked.

"You were having a nightmare, I think," she said.

I looked around and saw I was still lying in my bed. It was just a dream.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


"Apocalypse?! Oh man, we should have just gone and bought some ice cream!"

"But who is Apocalypyse?" Dust asked me.

"Who's Apocalypse?! He's just like the most dangerous bad guy the X-Men have - "

"Silence knave!" Apocalypse bellowed. "Now I shall grind your bones into paste! Only the strong are worthy and you are both weak! Therefore you shall die!!"

His hands started to cackle with energy. I froze. My powers are to heal people. I'm really not a front line kind of guy. Dust looked over at me for some guidance. There wasn't anything I could tell her.

Apocalypse raised his hands at us. Bright yellow energy grew into balls around his fists and then launched straight at us. I shut my eyes and went stiff as a board.

. .

. .

. . nothing happened.

I opened my eyes. Apocalypse was gone. The whole room was gone. It was suddenly just a huge empty metal chambed.

"Sorry, sorry," a voice called. Then Beast bounded into view. He had a tub of Hagen Daz tucked under his arm, spilling all over the floor as he did forward flips. "I was just trying out a new Danger Room program. Are you kids okay?"

Dust looked at me but I was still frozen solid. "Uh, yes Mr. Beast," she answered.

Man, that was close.

Monday, May 29, 2006


"Who is this 'P' that wants more cream?" Dust asked me.

"I don't know. We have to find out who took all of the Professor's ice cream though."

"Maybe it's the same person," she suggested.

" . . nah. The only 'P' I can think of is Pietro. You know, Colossus. He doesn't eat ice cream."

I looked around the fridge for clues and found them. "Look at those stains on the floor. I bet that's our ice cream trail!" I said.

"I don't know," said Dust. "It looks there is a bean in there."

"Oh that's probably just a chocolate chip or something. Come on!"

We followed the trail over to the door to the lower levels. Students aren't allowed down there without someone from the faculty with them - but this was an emergency. Dust and I raced down the stairs to level three, our eyes focused on the gooey trail on the floor. The gunk ended at a big door.

I hit the button and the door slid open. We ran inside. Suddenly the place was flooded with light. We were momentairly blinded but when we recovered we saw a giant figure looming in front of us.

Apocalypse!

"Holy crap!" I yelled.

His booming voice filled the room. "And you shall be the first X-Men to die!"

Sunday, May 28, 2006

So Dust and I went into the kitchen to get some Peanutbutter Ripple. They don't have that flavor in the Middle East apparently so I wanted to show it to her. Well, let her try it, I mean. Just letting her look at it wouldn't be much fun.

Anyway when I opened the freezer, there wasn't any in there. Looking around I saw several empty containers on the counter. Somebody had eaten all the ice cream! Man, the Professor is going to be pissed when he gets back.

"Who would do such a thing?" Dust asked.

"Well, I know Beast has a bit of an eating problem, but - hey, look at that note on the fridge."

There on the fridge was a sheet of paper with one giant word written on it. "Cream!!!" There really was three exclamation points after it. I'm not sure who wrote it but there was a big 'P' under it and some kind of claw scratch.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

After taking a long hot bath and celebrating our mutual success in completing the second challenge of Last Gladiator Standing with Maggie, I decided to give the school a call and see how things were going. Wolverine answered the phone.

"What's up, Chuck?" he asked, followed by that annoying little snicker he does each time he uses that stale, tired, over-done unfunny joke.

"Hello Logan. How are things at the school?"

"Uh . . the school . . yeah . . it's still here. Sure, things are, uh, just fine."

"Well that's a relief. Is Scott around?"

"Sure, here's right here balled up in the corner whimpering to himself."

"Excuse me?"

"No, no. I mean he's right here. Hang on."

Logan rested the phone down but I could still make out some of what was said in the room. There was a loud thud sound, sort of like a boot kicking a pile of clothes.

"Get the hell up," I heard Logan say. "It's Chuck."

"W-who?" came a very soft girl's voice.

"You know, bald guy. Wheel chair. Founded the X-Men."

"The P-professor?"

"Yeah, that's the guy. Now get up."

There was a long pause and then I heard a new voice on the phone. It took me a moment to realize it was Scott.

"Uh, hi Professor."

"Scott, wonderful to hear your voice. How are things at the school? Any problems?"

"Uh, problems? Um . . nope. No problems at all. Everything is, uh, just like you left it. The, uh, the kids finished their exams and, uh, most of them went home for the summer. So, uh, no problems here. Nope. None at all. Everything is fine. Thanks for asking."

"Excellent. I knew I made the right choice by leaving the school in your capable hands. You've really grown quite a lot Scott and I'm very proud of you."

"Um . . thanks?"

"Keep up the good work. These long distance charges are terrible so I have to get going."

Sounds like the school is doing fine in my absence. Well that's a load of my mind.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I still can't believe I was in real battle with the X-Men! Man that was so cool!

Once all the Sentinels were down, we gathered around and high-fived each other. Well, I tried to high-five everybody but only Dust and Pantha would do it. Wolverine just kind of growled at me. He's so freakin' cool!

Then he asked why the Sentinels were attacking humans. I had kind of forgotten about that. Beast scavenged a memory chip from one of them and we got the hell out of there.

Back at the school, Shi, Beast and I ran some tests on the chip and we figured out that someone had reporgrammed the Sentinels.

I was pretty beat by that point so Wolverine let me go watch TV. I was actually really glad because the American Idol results show was about to start. I've totally got McFever!

Wow, now that I'm watching this show, I'm getting McCleavage!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

So the battle was like totally incredible! There were Sentinel parts flying everywhere!

Storm came out of no where and started shooting lighening at the giant robots. Cyclops started to blast one but a stray lightening bolt accidently fried him. I rushed over and did my healing thing on him, so he's going to be okay.

Colossus threw Wolverine at one of the robot's heads and he totally sliced it to pieces. I got to see a real Canonball Special! That was freakin' awesome!

Pantha and Nightcrawler doubled teamed one. She was like distracting it and Nightcrawler teleported inside it's head and then back out again with part of it's brain. The thing just fell over!

I hadn't realized that Dust had snuck onto our ship. She changed into this sand storm like thing and whirled around in a frenzy on this one robot's head. It kept turning left and right like it was confused. The sand got into the gears or something and the thing just fell to pieces.

It didn't take long before all the Sentinels were destroyed. We totally kicked ass!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Hi, this is Elixir again. So there I was, showing the new girl where we keep the Pringles and stuff, when this half-naked chick with big thigh-high leather boots comes into the kitchen looking for some cream. She was wearing like this bikini or something. I was kind of embarrassed because Dust (that's the new girl) is like this Muslim who wears the whole head to toe outfit, you know? She definitely seemed uncomfortable around this woman with her breats popping out and everything. I tried to play it cool.

"So, uh, are you like a teacher or something?"

"No, I'm just your average stray. My name is Pantha."

I was trying to think of something else to say. I was also trying to not stare at her body. That's when Wolfsbane ran in screaming.

"Sentinels! They are rampaging the city destroying everything and everyone!"

Rahne was hysterical. I started freaking out too. Dust turned into a pile of sand. I guess that's her power. Then Beast ran in. This Pantha lady just kind of took charge. It was pretty cool. She started ordering everybody to get into the X-Jet so we could fight the Sentinels. She pointed at me. I felt my heart skip a beat. I'm still on the Mole Man training program in the Danger Room.

Beast tried to argue that I was too young to go but Pantha wasn't having any of it. She was so cool. We found Cyclops and when he heard about the Sentinels he started to squeal like a little girl. Pantha wound back her arm and smacked him real hard across the face. It actually calmed him down.

So we flew into the city and found the Sentinels. There were five of them and they were attacking the humans. It was weird. Pantha broke us up into teams. Nobdy wanted to go with Cyclops. It looked like he was going to start crying again.

Even though it seemed incredibly dangerous, going into battle as an X-Men was giving me a total rush. If I survive, this is going to be the coolest moment in my life!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Uh, hi. My name is Joshua Foley. My friends call me Josh.

Actually, my friends call me Elixir. That's, like, my code name. I'm a student here at the school. You know, Xavier's mutant school. Yeah, I'm a mutant. I heal people. It's not all cool like Colossus turning all metal and getting real strong, but it's something, you know?

So like the Professor who runs this place took off for who knows how long. I think he left Cyclops in charge but I find that hard to believe. I mean, like, the guy is nice and all but he's a total basket case.

Magneto was here for a bit. I've head he's a fruit cake but he seemed kind of cool. He totally cancelled all the classes. He was getting us ready to kick someone's ass. That would have been great! I'm not sure who but I'm sure they deserved it or whatever.

Anyway, Wolverine and the New Avengers and some guy with really weird hair kicked Magneto's butt. Then Storm took over. Let me tell you, she was a total freak. Wolverine was kind of mean to us because we had gone along with Mag-nut-o, but nothing like Storm. She was just a jerk. She wouldn't let us have ice cream or watch Sponge Bob anymore.

So while she was doing her whole nazi rant during an assembly, I stood up and told her to bite me. It was so cool! Everybody else stood up too and Storm totally lost it. She took off, man!

Anyway, we've been on our own the last couple of days. Wolverine came back and said we could go home for the summer. Some of the kids did. My parents gave me away to the school though so I have no where to go.

I think I'm just going to hang out here and see what kind of trouble I can get into.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I called a general assembly of all the students. It was time institute some additional disciplinary policies on these soft, weak babies. Some of the X-Men joined me on stage. Wolverine had left earlier in the day. Cyclops was now missing. Good riddance.

I stepped up to the podium and looked down at the children. Some of them were whispering to each other. Those disrespectful bastards! I raised my hands out and lightening flew from my fingertips, sailing over their heads, crashing into the far wall with a loud crack. They quickly grew silent.

"You have been spoiled for far too long!" I told them in my most imperious voice. "You have already heard the first of the new rules under which you will live. Now you will hear some additional rules. You will obey them or pay the price!"

I could see the naked fear in their eyes. It was delicious. "No one may leave school grounds without express written permission by me! There will be no talking during meal times! You will begin each day at 5:30 AM by-"

"No!" I heard a deviant voice from the crowd call. I could not believe my ears.

"Who dared- ?"

One of the students stood up. Some little blond haired white boy I did not recognize. Then the blue child next to him stood up. Then all the students stood up.

"We're on strike!" the blond boy shouted.

"Strike?!" I spat.

"We don't like your stupid rules and we're not going to take it," he said.

"Yeah!" they all called out in agreement.

"Of all the ungrateful, obstinate -"

"They're right Storm."

I turned around. It was that insufferable, sanctimonious Kitty Pryde.

"You really being far too harsh on them," she said. "Give them a break."

"I run this school! I am in charge! You will obey me or you will leave!!"

Kitty looked at Colossus and shrugged. "We'll be at Niagara Falls if there's any emergencies." And then they walked off the stage. Gambit, Iceman, Angel, Beast and Rogue joined them. Only Nightcrawler stayed. He stared at me for a moment and then winked. His tongue darted out and licked his upper lip. Worm.

I turned back to the students and they all stood facing me with their arms folded.

"Fine. You brats can all rot."

I blasted a hole in the ceiling and flew off threw it. If they don't want a strong leader, then they can have Cyclops. They deserve him.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Finally. Now I am the undisputed mistress of this school. Xavier is off on some fool vain-glorious reality television show. Cyclops, the inane pet of Xavier's who has always tried to stand between me and my rightful place as leader of the X-Men, is running around in the school in hysterics. The students all see him for the pathetic worm he is. Emma has stomped off to England in a huff. That leaves me, right where I should be, in charge of this school. Now things will be run right.

I tell you one thing Magneto was right about. These children have been coddled for far too long. They watch cartoons on television. There is ice cream of various flavors in the freezers. They have music and toys. We didn't have these things in the slums of Cairo, I'll tell you that. No wonder Mangeto took over the school so easily. The children are weak and soft. Well no more!

All the ice cream is going to be thrown away!

No more cartoons on television!

The only music they will play is African war marches!

The only recreation they will have is Danger Room training!

They will wear uniforms all day! Lights out at 7:30! No more candy! No more soda! They will learn that life is harsh and unfair - just like I did! They will learn to beg for their food!

And they will call me Headmistress Storm!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

"A-are they gone? Really? They're gone? Are you sure? Whew. T-that was really close. For a second I thought, well . . I'm glad we were able to beat -"

"Scott!!"

"S-storm?"

"You pathetic worm! You cowered in the corner during the entire battle! You hid like the whiney little bitch you are!"

"B-but S-storm . . it was Magne-"

"Don't your dare talk to me! You aren't fit to lick the soles of my boots! Don't even look at me! I said avert your eyes worm! Yes, that's right . . run away dog. Now then, Wolverine - I am taking charge of this school effective immediately."

"That's fine with me, darlin'. Anybody who votes against you will have to answer to me."

"Good. Take the students who sided with Magneto down to the sub-basement. That will be our detention area. Teach them the error of their ways."

"Heh, heh. My pleasure, Storm."

"Now this school is going to be run right."

Monday, May 15, 2006

The battle was going rather well, which means I was winning. I had taken control of Captain America's shield and was using it to attack him. I was always controlling Wolverine, or at least the admantium in his body, and was making him spin around like a top. My Terminator partner was using various deadly looking future tech machines to blast the crap out of Son Goku. That was quite fun to watch.

Then events took a rather unfortunate turn. I decided to join in the fun beating on Goku. I used Captain America's shield to swat him the butt. He howled like a baby! I was laughing so hard that I lost track of Wolverine. He managed to stop swirling and leap at me. Like the coward that he is, he attacked me from behind, slashing me with those damn claws of his.

Then some of the X-Men decided to meddle with my army. Storm, Rogue and Kitty Pryde got them to stop battling with the New Avengers and unite their forces against the Terminatrix and I. Goku got them all to focus their efforts on my ally. Ignoring me was of course their fatal mistake. Or rather it would have been if I wasn't busy clutching the slash wounds on my chest.

Those blasted meddling do-gooders managed to defeat the death machine. How, I don't know. Using ancient Vulcan techniques, I managed to focus my thoughts and block out my pain. I turned to face Goku. I was about to blast him into orbit when I noticed a rather odd look on his face. And his gaze seemed to be fixed over my shoulder.

"What are you looking at?!" I demanded.

"There's a purple dragon about the size of a small dog flying behind you," he said.

"Ha! You expect me to believe that?"

Suddenly the sound of roaring flames filled my ears. My posterior began to feel unmistably warmer. Much, much warmer. I whirled around to see a flying purple . . well I guess dragon is the only thing I could call it . . hovering behind me, flames coming out if it's mouth.

I would like to think I kept my dignity but it's very hard to concentrate on composure when your pants are on fire. Obviously this battle had somehow turned.

I used my powers to scoop up all the shattered pieces of the Terminatrix and fly us out of there at top speed. I could swear I heard laughing behind me. Oh those damn "heroes" will pay!

Friday, May 12, 2006

As I looked around Xavier's office, I realized why he was always destined to lose to me. The room reeked of "coziness." The man is weak. Sentimental. Soft. There was no way he could possibly defeat a being as powerful and determined as myself. Not in the long run anyway.

"Vere do you vant za throne?" Colossus asked as he carried my ornate solid gold throne chair into the room. It was something even Donald Trump would be proud of.

"There behind the desk," I told him.

It hadn't taken me long to convert Colossus to my side. At first he rushed to attack me with some of the others. But the fool changed to his organic metal form as he did so. I easily raised him into the air and used him as club against Rogue and Angel and the rest who did not have the imagination to accept reality. I held him upside down for about 10 minutes until he cried 'uncle.' He's been very loyal ever since.

As I sat, I looked over at the Terminator android who had been staying close at my side every since I arrived at the school. In the beginning I think she was going to attack me, but since then we have come to an understanding.

"Now then," I told the Terminatrix, "our next step in the complete destruction of mankind should start with-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Wolverine and some freak in a Superman costume appeared in the middle of the room. Several of my soldiers, Xavier's former students were outside the office and rushed in. Wolverine extended those long claws of his. Frankly I have always thought he was compensating for something with those things.

As he moved towards me I said, "Do you really think that you and an idiot in someone's costume can stop me?" I laughed in his little tiny face.

"Nah, I brought back up, bub. Old Magneto, let me introduce you to the New Avengers."

Suddenly the outer wall of the office disintegrated. Hovering outside were a pack of garishly costumed do-gooders. "Glam Super-heroes," I laughed. "Trying to start a new trend?"

Their only response was for the monkey in the Superman suit to pick up Wolverine and throw him at me. Fortunately baseball was not his strong suit. He missed and crashed into the Terminator. Poor Colossus just stood there, looking very confused.

"We are besieged by the human enemy!" I bellowed to my mutant soldiers. "The war has begun! Claim your birthright and destroy the thugs!"

Xavier's former students engaged the New Avengers. Several large dangerous looking machines suddenly appeared in the room. The Terminatrix seemed to be controlling them. I have a feeling this battle may be over quickly.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I had the students gather on the central lawn. Spreading my arms, I floated high in the air before them. Using my most impressive baratone, I address the crowd.

"No long are you mere students! Your days as puppets to Xavier's false dream are over! Now you stand before me as you were meant to be, proud mutants - masters of the Earth!"

I looked out over the crowd and could see the hesitency on their faces. They looked around at each other, unsure of what to make of this. It was time for a little pandering.

"From this day forth, classes are cancelled!" I could feel them brightening. "Your final exams are cancelled!" Scattered whoops and hollers shot out from the crowd. "You have all graduated from this school!" Applause started to ripple through the sea of people. "You are students no longer! Today you shall take your place as rulers of this planet and we shall put the humans in their place - under our heels!!"

They all broke out into thunderous applause. Their cheers roared through the cool evening air. I have never felt so alive!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Bwwaahahhaaa!

This was too easy! My assault on the Xavier School for Whiner Mutant Brats took all of 10 minutes! Xavier is off planet at some silly game show. Their fiercest fighter, Wolverine, who is really no threat to me whatsoever since his body is filled with metal, had moved out.

Storm was in her own world, flying off in a tirade about something or other. Colossus rushed at me, the idiot, and I threw him into Beast and Nightcrawler. The only other X-Man at the school was Cyclops. When he saw me he collapsed into a fetal ball, softly sobbing to himself.

There is none to oppose me and now I rule this school! I will indoctrinate his students with the truth about the pathetic evil humans and I will have my mutant army!!

BWWAHAHAHAA!!!!!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I woke up this morning to chirping birds and the arousing smell of lavender. As I rolled over to give Maggie a kiss, the phone rang.

"Damn!" Maggie just giggled at my annoyance.

"Yes?" I said into the phone, not disguising my frustration.

"Professor! You've got to come back!" It was Cyclops. He sounded hysterical. I've been at the Last Gladiator Standing house for less than 24 hours now.

"What is it Scott?" I asked with impatience.

"Everything's going crazy! Storm went ballistic when she found out you put me in charge. She blew the roof off the boy's dormitory. Wolverine called me all sorts of horrible names and then he moved out. *choke* It was terrible! I don't think I can take anymore!"

Sigh. "Stop crying Scott. Scott! Stop crying this instant. You are an X-Men for Heaven's sake! You must set an example for the students!"

"B-but P-professor, I *sob* I don't . . "

"Scott! Pull yourself together! You are the leader. You must-"

"They all hate me! They won't listen to me! The kids tossed all of my underwear up into the trees! They have no respect for me! I don't know what to do!!"

"Okay, Scott. I will tell you my secret. Are you ready?"

"Y-yes . . "

"Go into my office. Open the cabinet behind my desk. The key is taped under the lefthand bottom drawer. Take out a bottle of cognac. Pour yourself a very tall drink. In fact, drink two. Suddenly everything else will seem far less important. All your troubles will seem far away and the world will seem like a happy place."

"You think that will work?"

"Trust me."

Monday, May 08, 2006

"Professor! Why are you packing?!"

"Oh, Scott. Um, well . . okay, here it is. Maggie and I are going on a little vacation."

"What! B-but you can't leave! What about the school? What about the students? What about me?!"

"Oh come on, Scott, you'll be fine. I'll only be gone for a few days. Unless I'm lucky, of course. Heh heh."

"But where are you going?"

"Actually I'm going to be on a little show called the Last Gladiator Standing."

"What? But, um, you don't really, you know
. . stand."

"It's just the title Scott."

"And to be honest Professor, you aren't really a gladiator either. You know, no offense."

"There's not actually going to be any fighting. Besides, I can hold my own in combat. Hand me those bottles."

"But what about the school? Finals are coming up. And Cassandra Nova is hanging around."

"Well Scott, that's why I am leaving the school in your capable hands. You are in charge."

"M-me? But what about, you know, Storm?"

"It's time you learned to stand up to her Scott. Be a man. Be a leader."

As I carefully wrapped the cognac bottles in padding and placed them in my case, I couldn't help but notice the sheer look of stark panic on Scott's face. I thought about altering his mind to give him some confidence, but the boy has to learn some things for himself.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Maggie was back safe and sound and we returned the Sapphire of Radiance to the Shi'Ar Empire. All charges against me were dropped. Don't you just love a happy ending?

With the Solar Wind at our backs, we made it home to Earth in record time. The Kree drop ship took us down towards the school in Westchester.

"Professor, we're getting some tremendous energy readings from the school property," the Kree pilot announced. "It's reaching critical mass! The explosion will destroy everything in a hundred kilometer radius! We have to return to orbit!"

I tried to scan the area telepathically but the strange energies were interfering with my power. Maggie gripped my arm. Scott started crying.

"Wait a minute ," the pilot said. "The energies . . they've suddenly dissipated. We should probably return to our ship until we can assess . ."

"No! Take us down right away!" I ordered.

Once the ship landed, we hurried out to the front lawn. Cable and Gabriel were both lying on the grass, snoring faintly. Smoke was rising from the bodies. Gaia and her pet talking fox, Fred stood next to the them. Next to her stood . . Cassandra Nova?!

"Professor! I'm so glad you're back!" Gaia said, running over to us.

Before I could ask what had happened here, Wolverine had already popped his claws and was leaping towards Nova. Just as he was about to sink his adamantium blades deep into her chest, Gaia used her reality altering powers to catch him in mid-leap and raise him into the air.

"Whoever got me better let go!!" Logan bellowed.

"You don't understand!" Gaia said anxiously. "Cassandra just saved us all."

"What?" I asked in disbelief. I glanced over at my "sister" and she stared back with a rather evil sneer on her lips.

"It's true," continued Gaia. "Cable and Gabriel were about to kill each other and take all of us with them, but she managed to stop them. We'd be dead right now if she hadn't save us."

I looked again at my evil twin and I would swear she was gloating.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

We followed the tracer I had hidden on Maggie's suit to the desert planet Tantooine. We pinpointed her location in a sprawling stone compound. When we got down to the ground, I could sense several weird alien lifeforms in the complex. Obviously we were going to need a plan. So Wolverine went howling through the front entrance, claws out, hacking and slashing at everything in sight.

"So much for subtly," I said to the others.

"Oh, it just makes me so mad how he won't listen to orders!" Scott whined. "I'm going to make him take a time out!"

"Once he's done doing what he does, Scott," I told him. "It may not be pretty, but he's quite good at it."

Wolverine, um, disposed of various obstacles, I followed the tracer signal inside. When I opened the cell door, I found a a rather hard edged woman wearing Maggie's suit. It was one of the pirates who had kidnapped Maggie and stolen the Sapphire!

"Hello, lover boy," she said lacisviously as she pointed a blaster at me. I hit her with a psionic attack to her cerebral cortex. She folded up like a kitten. Wolverine, um, questioned a couple of the guards and we soon found where Maggie was being held - the Throne Room.

Our team rushed into the large chamber, crowded with strange looking creatures as well as Corsair and his three pirate buddies. Maggie was sprawled out in front of some kind of giant yellow slug like creature. She had the most amazing outfit on. I was frozen by the sight of her.



Suddenly I became aware of a deep booming laugh. It seemed to be coming from the slug. Some weird creature with giant gross fleshy tubes wrapped around his neck stood next to the slug, whispering in his ear.

"Charles, you've come to rescue me!" Maggie called out.

"Master, this is the one the pirate Corsair told us about," the guy with the flesh tubes around his next said. "Charles Xavier, the mutant."

"I must be allowed to speak to you, oh large slug-like one," I said in my most authoritarian voice.

"He must be allowed to speak," I made the neck-tube freak say.

"Oh, you weak minded fool!" the slug spat, slamming his rather puny looking fist into neck-tube. "He's using an old mutant mind trick on you!"

I reached into the slug's mind. He was as gross inside as out. "You will release the girl to me."

"Your mind powers won't work on me, boy!" he boomed with a guttural laugh.

"Nevertheless, I am taking the hot slave chick and the Sapphire of Radiance. You can either profit by this or be destroyed. It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my power."

"You may be a strong mutant, but now you are Bantha fodder!" the slug said. He motioned to his soldiers to cut us down.

As Cyclops unleashed his full force optic blast into the main force of the guards, Rogue sped like a bullet, smashing into the ones on the far wall. Angel swooped high into the center of the room, creating a distraction. Meanwhile Wolverine leapt onto the slug and turned him into Sushi.

Corsair's pirate friends ran out the back door. Corsair started to run after them but Maggie tossed the chain attached to her neck collar around his legs and he fell down hard. I reached into his mind and made him think he was a six year old girl. Scott looked a little distressed to see his father like this, but he recognized it was for the best. After I altered his brain, of course.

I hurried over to Maggie and she gave me a big hug.

"We are definitely keeping that outfit," I told her.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

As I hoped, we made it to the Kree ship without incident. I had figured that since Chancellor Palpatine would not want to bring any attention to himself, he wouldn't risk having us intercepted. I sent my thanks to Lt. Commander Oneida for her help and tried again to reach Master Yoda at the Jedi Temple, but he was still oddly silent.

Our ship left orbit and prepared for the jump through hyper-space. Maggie and I were looking forward to spending some quality time together. Just as things started to heat up, however, a loud blaring alarm roared throughout the ship, and more particularly, in our room.

Wolverine burst in. "It's wasn't me Chuck! We're bein' invaded!" He rushed back out to find the action. Maggie suited up and I got into my hoverchair. We rushed onto the main deck into the midst of a battle.

"Say hello to my friends!" Corsair beamed.

I spotted four pirates, all well-armed, attacking the X-Men. I was about to unleash a powerful psionic blast on their leader when some kind of tranquilizer dart hit my neck. I slumped over almost immediately and everything that happened next was a blur. By the time I had recovered my senses, the fight was over and both Maggie and the Sapphire were gone. Fortunately Maggie had the opportunity to leave a final message detailing the battle. You can read that here.

I vaguely recalled being able to place a tracer on Maggie before I totally went under. The Kree ship was able to track the device to a planet called Tantooine. Apparently Corsair and his goons are going to try and fence the Sapphire there, since their original buyer fell through. We'll just have to see what we can do about that.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

"Now then, Professor. What is this all about?" Palpatine asked. "As Chancellor of this Empire, er, excuse me, 'Republic,' I'm sure that you can appreciate I am a busy man."

I tried to scan his thoughts but there was an impenetrable wall around him. "Of course, Chancellor. I'm sorry to bother you about this, but I understand that some be attempting to pass you stolen merchandise. Specifically the Sapphire of Radiance."

Palpatine's gaze focused sharply on my eyes. He raised one arm and waved his fingers at my face. "You don't care about the Sapphire of Radiance."

"I beg to differ but I do care very much about it."

His face contorted into a dark scowl and his gaze hardened to a fine pinpoint, like he was trying to look into my soul. "You don't care about the Sapphire of Radiance," he repeated more forcefully.

"I'm afraid you are mistaken, Chancellor," I told him.

"Oh no, my young Professor. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things."

"Enough a this crap!" Wolverine shouted, popping out his claws with a loud 'snnikkt.' He charged towards Palpatine before any of us could act.

Palpatine just laughed. From his robes he pulled out a giant red gem, dazzling in the artificial light. "You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your mutant weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant."

"My pleasure, bub!" Wolverine shouted as he lunged forward.

"Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side!" Palpatine shouted as blue lightening flew from his fingertips, dancing all around Wolverine. Poor Logan writhed in pain. His howl was terrible.

"Young fool . . Only now, at the end, do you understand . . ."

Wolverine collapsed on the floor as the lightening continued to crackle over his body. I tried to attack Palpatine psionically but his shield was strong. Cyclops opened his visor wide and a deep ruby ray shot out from his eyes, slamming hard into Palpatine and sending the old man flying back into the wall.

Rogue rushed to Wolverine's side and helped him up. I went over to where Palpatine had dropped the Sapphire and picked it up. A strange energy emitted from it. I hoped it wasn't poisonous radiation.

We left Palpatine's chambers and headed back towards our ship. Hopefully the trip will be uneventful.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Lieutenant Commander Oneida met us at the enterance to the Imperial Senate. Magdalena was at my side. Wolverine, Cyclops, Angel and Rogue hung back a bit.

"Thank you so much," I said. "I truly appreciate your being able to get us in to see Senator Palpataine on such short notice."

"Actually, it's even more impressive than that," Oneida said. "He's actually the Chancellor now. He seemed perfectly willing to meet with you, though. I was a little surprised given how busy he is. He is such a sweet and gentle man. You're quite lucky."

"Ah wonder if'n he's married?" Rogue asked.

"Settle down girl," I said. "I thought you were involved with someone?"

"A girl's always lookin' to upgrade, Professor," she replied with a wink.

I just shook my head as Oneida lead us through the magnificent hall. I have never seen such a grand structure in my life. The ceilings were hundred's of feet high. Everything was in prestine condition, almost like an animator had drawn it.

As we waited outside the Chancellor's office, Maggie got a rather strange look on her face. She clutched my arm.

"What is it?" I asked her telepathically.

"I'm sensing a dark evil."

"Are you sure it's not just Wolverine? I don't think he bathed this week."

"No Charles, it's coming from behind that door. A kind of true evil that I've only ever felt in Hell. Oh Charles! It's some kind of dark force!"

"Really? Oneida says this Chancellor is very well respected."

"One of my powers is to sense good and evil. I'm telling you whatever is behind there is evil. We know Palpaltaine is involved in the theft of the Sapphire of Radiance. Maybe he isn't an innocent dupe."

"That is certainly a possibility I haven't discounted."

"Please let me question him. I have the power to read men's hearts. I'm not saying it's stronger than your telepathy of Master Yoda's Jedi powers, but this is what I do."

"Of course, my dear. Do what you must. You know I will back you up."

We entered the large offices and a kindly looking older man got up to greet us.

"Hello, my friends," he said in gravely voice. "Thank you for coming to visit me. How can I be of service to you?"

Maggie stepped up to speak but her step faulted. It looked for a moment like she was going to pass out. Everyone looked very concerned.

"Greetings C-chancellor Palpataine," she finally said. "I bring you greetings on behalf of Earth. My name is Magdalena and I - unnggh!"

Maggie suddenly doubled over in pain. I looked into her mind and saw this -











The Chancellor approached her. I couldn't tell if he was smiling or looking worried. Maggie's arm reached behind her for the Spear. I was about to stop her when she collapsed.

"Your little friend seems to have over exerted herself," the Chancellor said. "Perhaps she would like to lie down on the sofa in the outer office while we talk."

Wolverine stepped up to help Maggie out but I motioned for Cyclops to take her instead. I wanted to keep Wolverine close.
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