Friday, May 12, 2006

As I looked around Xavier's office, I realized why he was always destined to lose to me. The room reeked of "coziness." The man is weak. Sentimental. Soft. There was no way he could possibly defeat a being as powerful and determined as myself. Not in the long run anyway.

"Vere do you vant za throne?" Colossus asked as he carried my ornate solid gold throne chair into the room. It was something even Donald Trump would be proud of.

"There behind the desk," I told him.

It hadn't taken me long to convert Colossus to my side. At first he rushed to attack me with some of the others. But the fool changed to his organic metal form as he did so. I easily raised him into the air and used him as club against Rogue and Angel and the rest who did not have the imagination to accept reality. I held him upside down for about 10 minutes until he cried 'uncle.' He's been very loyal ever since.

As I sat, I looked over at the Terminator android who had been staying close at my side every since I arrived at the school. In the beginning I think she was going to attack me, but since then we have come to an understanding.

"Now then," I told the Terminatrix, "our next step in the complete destruction of mankind should start with-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Wolverine and some freak in a Superman costume appeared in the middle of the room. Several of my soldiers, Xavier's former students were outside the office and rushed in. Wolverine extended those long claws of his. Frankly I have always thought he was compensating for something with those things.

As he moved towards me I said, "Do you really think that you and an idiot in someone's costume can stop me?" I laughed in his little tiny face.

"Nah, I brought back up, bub. Old Magneto, let me introduce you to the New Avengers."

Suddenly the outer wall of the office disintegrated. Hovering outside were a pack of garishly costumed do-gooders. "Glam Super-heroes," I laughed. "Trying to start a new trend?"

Their only response was for the monkey in the Superman suit to pick up Wolverine and throw him at me. Fortunately baseball was not his strong suit. He missed and crashed into the Terminator. Poor Colossus just stood there, looking very confused.

"We are besieged by the human enemy!" I bellowed to my mutant soldiers. "The war has begun! Claim your birthright and destroy the thugs!"

Xavier's former students engaged the New Avengers. Several large dangerous looking machines suddenly appeared in the room. The Terminatrix seemed to be controlling them. I have a feeling this battle may be over quickly.


Blogger TX said...


6:55 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

kakarot is an ididot but a tough idiot I think you may be a little out of your Leauge Magneto

11:55 PM  
Blogger Magneto said...

Bah! No one can stand against Magneto, the Master of Magnetism!

10:22 AM  
Blogger Bruce Banner said...

Yet you always lose Magneto.Maybe you should go to a supervillian retirement home

5:22 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Gotta admit, Magneto's "Bah's" are the best in the business.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

At least he's consistant.

6:05 PM  

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